My Will
by Jazz7
Summary: A ghosts wish and a demons promise. A chance in a life time meeting brings Kikyou, Kurama, and Naraku together again. With the Shikon no Tama in Naraku's hands, Kurama and his group must depend on Kikyou's powers to help them defeat him. But only if...
1. Chapter 1

Okay before I start the story there are a couple of things I have to say...  
  
1. If you hate Kikyou please read something else.  
  
2. This is a crossover hopefully not one that sucks because I have read a lot of bad crossovers with Inuyasha. Including one where Sesshoumaru and Serena from SailorMoon...  
  
Trust me you DON'T want to know.  
  
3. This at some times is like a songfic or a musical (Don't laugh!) it has Kikyou singing in it. For some reson 5 times out of10 Kikyou will sing in my fanfiction. And usally I hate musicals...  
  
4. The disclamer: I in no way, Shape, or form own Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. That right belongs to the owners. I'm just borrowing them for my own amusment. The only thing I own is the plot.  
  
Oh yeah 'thoughts are going to be surrounded by these' and " speach is going to be surronded by these."  
  
My Will  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Hearts, souls, spirits what does it matter in the end ther all broken by some horror of reality just like mine was and by the very person I loved. Maybe it dosen't happen to every one maybe just to the selected few and I was just lucky enough to be one. My heart, my soul, and my spirit was broken by the man I loved, the man I foolishly thought that would always love me. But maybe its my own fault for beliveing in love. Beliveing that I could love another and that he could love me.  
  
And because of me, that man, and one jewel I died. Not one time but twice and all because of that.\par  
  
Now I'm nothing more then a ghost.   
  
It's not so bad at least I got to live, well sort of.  
  
The thing I really hate about this is that I saw my sister die.   
  
And the sad thing is that I was sitting right by her at her death bed. And she couldn't even see me. Of course I must ask myself: if she could see me would she still hate me.  
  
When I was still alive she loved me to death. Death huh in the end I'm the one that caused her death! No it was hatered. She hated me for leaveing her alone to follow him in death. On the day I died a second time she wanted to see it even if it was deathly cold...  
  
The only ones that can see me no sense me is demons, unless I want to be seen. The only time I show myself is when someone is lost in these parts of the woods and stumble upon this clearing. And the only peolple I show my self to is children. I always help them find there way and then I leave them, I find it so funny when they say to there mothers or fathers " but mommy or daddy I really did see a pretty lady. she was dressed up in funny clothes and see helped me out of the forest!" and there mothers or fathers say, "Thats nice dear."  
  
But I never tell them my name. Well I do but only if they ask for it, But I never tell them I'm a ghost. That they'll have to find out on there own.  
  
Because of that I'm known to countless children as: "The pretty lady." or to those who know my name " The ghostly lady named Kikyou."  
  
'Well that was fun.' thought kikyou. "Now what am I going to do. Talking to my self was fun but now I have nothing to do."  
  
" Huh I sense something... Wait it can't be him how could he still be alive?"  
  
Kikyou looked up at the fadeing light of the sky prononceing night searching for the answer to her question.  
  
~  
  
The setting sun gave the world a golden glow. Makeing it look like everything and every one was gold. As the sun dissapered the moon came up to join the first stars.  
  
Things were starting to slow down. There weren't as many missions as before.   
  
"I wish there was some thing to do."  
  
"Really Kurama.", said a woman's voice.  
  
"Huh? Oh it's just you Botan."  
  
Botan sat down by him on the hill. The hill let them see a forest which was the exact reson why she was there. " I've never heard you say "huh" before you must be really bored."  
  
"Yes I guess your right."  
  
"Well chin up I have something you can do." replyed Botan.  
  
"And what would that be?"  
  
"You can come with me to talk to a ghost."  
  
"A ghost? Why?" asked Kurama  
  
'Because that ghost may just be the one that can help us defeat someone Or something. A really strong half-demon is around and I'm not sure but he may have the Shikon no Tama." explained Botan. She stood up and headed down the hill Kurama stood up too and walked down also.  
  
'The Shikon no Tama I thought that had disappeared thousands of years ago.',thought Kurama,'If that half-demon has it who knws what he will wish for. And who is he any way?'  
  
Botan lead Kurama into a clearing in the forest. The clearings floor had nothing but Kikyou flowers growing on it and a large tree with on of the roots sticking up out of the ground.  
  
"Kikyou we've come to talk come out! As you must surely know by now Naraku is back from the dead some how and has the Shikon jewel!!"  
  
No answer the ghost called Kikyou gave them no answer and just as they were about to turn away a tranparent figure of a woman in red and white appeared. Her black hair swayed in the wind and her life less brown eyes looked at them like she wasn't looking at them but through them.   
  
'I know her from somewhere. Kikyou...' thought Kurama as he looked at Kikyou  
  
~  
  
(Now where going to have a flash back from Kurama's past when he was a little kid.)  
  
"Great I'm lost." said a six year old Kurama. "Why did I wonder off anyway why couldn't I just stay with mother." he said out loud to himself.  
  
'Alright I'm lost what did they teach you in school about this sort of thing? Oh I know if your lost call for help. But I already did that! Okay don't panic, lets see what else... Oh I know stay where you are.!'  
  
"Well I see a clearing up ahead might as well stay there. At least if I'm in the clearing theres a better chance the search party's will find me."  
  
Kurama sat down in the flowers and looked up at the clear blue sky. Suddenly a pale hand was in frount of his face. Startled he backed away by still sitting and also uprooted several of the Kikyou flowers.  
  
Kikyou laughed at the little boy. She walked over bent down and looked in the kids green eyes and asked if he was all right he nodded and blushed. She lauged agian.  
  
"Whats your name?" asked Kurama.  
  
"Whats yours?' replyed Kikyou.  
  
"Kurama."  
  
"Well my name is Kikyou Kurama."  
  
'She sure is pretty just like the flower.' thought Kurama. "Are you from one of the search party's?" he asked with hopeful eyes. He had been lost for what seemed like days."  
  
Kikyou looked sadly at him and shook her head no. "I'm not I'm sorry."  
  
Kurama hung his head at the news. He felt like crying he might be stuck in the woods forever. A tear slid down his face and then he felt the cold hand of someone puting a hand on his face. He looked up into her brown eyes and noticed how close they were. Her face was just inches away from his. He blushed but didn't move away.  
  
"Lets go find your father and mother. Okay?" said Kikyou  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well thats it for now next chapter Kikyou helps Kurama find his parents.   
  
I hope you like the story and if you have the song my will the English or the Japanese version listen to it when Kikyou sings.   
  
Oh and please review it will help the next chapter come faster. I want at least 5 okay.  
  
And yes my computer is now working agian so I will try to update Gift of Humantiy and post other storys as well. Now review! 


	2. Chapter 2

HI I'm back! I hate to get mad but: WHATS WITH YOU PEOPLE THATS ALL THE REVIEWS I GOT! ONLY ONE PERSON HAD THE MANNERS TO READ AND REVIEW!!  
  
Okay I'm alright just needed to get that off my chest I have a very short temper. Well thanks Tomo*223! And now on with chapter two!  
  
'Thoughts', "Words"  
  
Disclamer: Don't remind me okay.  
  
My Will ch.2  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Do you know where were going?"  
  
"Yes. Your not the only child that gets lost in the woods Kurama."  
  
The sun was just seting. And in a few minutes it would be night, and on the next day that would mean 3 days he had been lost.  
  
'Wheres the search partys anyway? Aren't they looking for me? Like hello I'm a six year old little boy, what do they expect me to do just appear right in frount of them humans can be real idots.' thought Kurama by looking in frount of him at his guide, 'All she'll tell me is that shes done this before. Nothing about her self or if she lives in these woods or something like that. For all I know she could be a murder, eat children, or just some werido that wears old pristess robes and lost in the woods just like me.'  
  
"We should stop here for tonight. There are more things in the woods then just bears and owls. But don't worry I'll protect you." said kikyou. She sat down on the forest floor and looked at the stars. Kurama looked up at the night sky also.  
  
"Look at the stars what do you see?" asked Kikyou.  
  
"I don't know. There just stars right?"  
  
"Their more then just stars. Those stars have been around forever before you and me were even born."  
  
"Really?" asked Kurama.  
  
"Yes really. Did you know were made of the same material that the stars are made of? In a way their like our ancestors.(hope I spelled that right) They can tell us more about ourselfs then we can."  
  
"Kikyou. How long have you been here. In these woods I mean." asked Kurama. Kikyou didn't answer. She looked from the stars and looked at him.  
  
"Sit down Kurama. Besides its to dark to travel." Kurama did as he was asked and sat by Kikyou.  
  
Kurama tryed to think of happy thoughts. But to tell you the truth it took a lot to make him happy. Even at home he couldn't always be the happy six year old that his mother thought he was. It was hard not telling her the truth, but like some one once said the truths stranger then fiction. And at school it was hard to be happy too. Sure he was smart but he was still a outsider and he could feel it too. The friends that were hanged around him just did it because he was smart or cute, only a hand full of them liked him for him. But hoew would they know the real him they don't know the truth about him ethier. Maybe thats why he told Kikyou his real name. Maybe it was because she was just a secretive as him.  
  
"Do you want to hear a story?" said Kikyou  
  
"Sure why not. It will help to pass the time."  
  
~  
  
"A long time ago there was a Priestess who had a jewel. A very special jewel. A jewel that could make anyones wish come true. But the jewel was a jewel of good and evil, thats why the priestess keep it to try to make it pure. All sorts of demons went after it hopeing to make their evil wishs come true. But one day a diffrent kind of demon came. His wish was to be a full demon, so he followed the prustess around trying to get it, and through the priestess could have killed the demon she didn't she insted fell in love. And the demon fell in love with her.  
  
The priestess and the demon decided that the only way they could be together is if they both wished on the jewel for the demon to become human.  
  
But one man did not want to see them together that. That evil man gave him self up to demons and let them eat him so he could become a demon. He turned in to the priestess and the good demon and made them think that they hated each other. He attacked the priestess and almost killed her and then he attacked the good demon. The good demon thinking she no longer loved him took the jewel and attacked the village. The priestess seeing this used her last ounce of strength and pinned the good demon to a tree and died with the good demon hopeing to be with him in death even in hell."  
  
"So the priestess died. Why couldn't she have wished on the jewel so that she could live." asked Kurama.  
  
"Because she loved him so much that she would die then live in a world with out him."replyed Kikyou.  
  
Kurama lied down on the forest floor and continued to look up at the night sky. He closed his eyes for a moment and thought about what she said when he heard singing...  
  
"Quietly awakening...  
  
I always, always wish that these fleeting thoughts   
  
would reach you...  
  
Unable to move forward across "just a little more" distance  
  
The way I see before me is always blocked  
  
Every time the days I want to see you but can't pile up,  
  
My strong heartbeat turns into heartbreak.  
  
If there is such a thing as "enternity,"   
  
I want to belive, even if I have to take the long way.  
  
Although I know that I'v been hurt before because I'm clumsy   
  
I won't stop; I won't give in to anyone.  
  
I think of you  
  
and that alone is enough  
  
to make the tears start to flow now  
  
I alway, always wish   
  
that these fleeting thoughts   
  
would reach you...  
  
I'v known all too well about pretending to be strong.  
  
But since then, my douts have vanished.  
  
There's definitely things I want to show you  
  
And so many words I want to hear  
  
I want to see all sides of you when you, when you laugh and cry   
  
So I'll stop waiting   
  
and sezie my "chance."  
  
I think you,  
  
and I feel like that alone is enough  
  
to make my heart grow stronger.  
  
I always, always wish   
  
that these fleeting thoughts  
  
would reach you...  
  
I think of you  
  
and that alone is enough  
  
to make the tears start to flow now   
  
My distant voice can't reach you now, but someday  
  
it definitely will...  
  
Believe. la la la la la la...  
  
Believe. la la la la la la...  
  
Believe. la la la la la la...  
  
~  
  
When Kurama woke up he was being carried. He looked up and saw Kikyous face. "Why didn't you just wake me up."  
  
"I didn't want you to say goodbye to me."  
  
Just then Kurama heard crying. 'That sounds like mom.' thought Kurama. Kikyou set him down and then bended down and embraced him. (you know huged him.) Kurama felt kikyou shake and heard her trying to keep in a sob.  
  
"Kikyou..."  
  
"Don't talk okay. I'm...I'm sorry about crying but I hate to be alone."  
  
"It's okay I hate to be alone to. But were friends now okay. You won't really be alone when you have a friend. I'll come back and vist you okay. So don't cry." Kurama huged Kikyou back and then they let go of each other.  
  
"You should go now. Before you worry your mother." said Kikyou while standing up. Green eyes met brown eyes for a second witch seemed like enternity. Then with one last look at Kikyou he turned around and ran toward his mother.  
  
"Shuuichi! My dear Shuuichi I thought you were lost forever, killed, or..."  
  
"Don't worry I'm okay someone helped me out of the forest."  
  
"Who I would like to thank them? Where is this person?"  
  
Kurama turned around and looked through the trees to where kikyou was standing but didn't see her.  
  
"It looks like the person left."said his mother. Kurama just noded and alowed his mother to pick him up all the while still looking into the woods. Suddenly he saw a transperent image of Kikyou. She had one hand on the bark of a tree, her black hair was free of the ribbon she wore and she was silently crying. As Kurama stared at her she dissapered as silently as she came.  
  
Of coures when he got back no one beleved him. Humanity just wasn't willing or ready to except that there are things out there that can't be explanied, so every one said and thought that he made it out of the woods on his own and he made up the story about Kikyou. Even his own mother didn't belive him.   
  
He came back to the woods every once and a while to try to find her but he could never find the clearing agian and soon he forgot why he even came but he still came back just to think though.  
  
~  
  
Kikyou jumped down from the branch and looked at both of them. "You can't Naraku by your selfs no matter how piwerful you and you group is. So I accept you offer. (While Kurama was spaceing out Botan and Kikyou were talking.) But you have to do something for me."  
  
"What is it that you want."asked Kurama.  
  
"Make me human agian."replyed Kikyou.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I always 5 times out of 10 make Kikyou human in my storys. Well thats chapter two in the next chapter Kikyou becomes human and gets a new outfit and mets the rest of the group and the quest begans.   
  
Now reveiw because if you don't I'll put a cruse on you so review now! 


	3. Chapter 3

Hi yeah its me agian. This chapter will have alot more details and alot more action and supernatural and romance.;) And I have to say I plan all my fanfiction out in my head first but for this one I added stuff that I didn't think of till writeing the chapter. But its still good.  
  
And I promise you people I will never post a fanfiction which I didn't approve or would read if I wasn't myself. And with that lets start the chapter.  
  
'Thoughts'and "words will look like this. But some thoughts won't have this 'sign'. Like in chapter one when Kikyou was thinking about her past.  
  
And I will try not to misspell words and I didn't mean for pristess to come out pusstess. Oh yeah and thanks Inuyasha Companion for the lyrics to My Will. If you want the link to the site go to http//www.Shrine Maiden.net/Kikyou. I would put it here but lets start the chapter. also I don't want a Beta reader I want to do all my fanfiction on my own.  
  
Kurama: Pusstess? Does that mean you and Inuyasha did lot more then just kiss? Huh pusstess?  
  
(Kikyou walks over and slaps him upside his head.)  
  
Kikyou:Lets start the fic shall we?  
  
Disclamer: You want a disclamer!? You can't handle a disclamer! I object! Over ruled! Dang it!  
  
My Will ch.3  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She was just like he remember her. To the strand of hair that was forever comeing out of her ponytail and getting in front of her face, to the sad dark brown eyes. She hadn't changed a bit. And in more ways then one nether had he. Was he still the lost little boy looking for acceptence in a world where a sercret could bind him to a life of lies? Still the demon trapped in a six year old boy? And was she still as emotionless as back then, except for that one moment of weakness?  
  
'No I have changed. I'm no longer that litte boy...' Kurama's thoughts were lost as he looked back at Kikyou. Her hair fluttered around her in the wind and she pushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyes and behind her ear. Her eyes traveled down to the city below them. From atop Botan's oar (Which tranformed into a larger one to fit three people.) the city looked like a childs playset.  
  
Kurama watched as Kikyou's eyed filled with wonder and amazement at a Coca Cola ad. The flashing lights changed from a picture of a glass bottle of fizzing and bubbleing Coca Cola to a picture of the Coca Cola lego. Kikyou said to her self: "The wonders of this age." and the words were lost to the wind even with Kurama's demon hearing.  
  
Kikyou leaned over a bit to see a passing car go by and almost fell. Kurama eyes filled with worry while Kikyou reganed her blance and cursed her self being so clumsy. Kikyou felt Kurama watching her and she looked over at him. Her eyes filled with anger and she looked away from him as Botan turned to avoid hitting a airplane. Kurama could hear a child saying to his mother: "Look mommy! Two witches and a sorcerer! Just like in my Harry Potter books! "Thats nice dear." said his mother.  
  
"Ah here we are! The second entench to the undeworld!"said Botan. No door could be seen in the night sky, but one could sense a great power comeing from it.  
  
"What happened to the first?"asked Kurama.  
  
"Well you see...some demons just had to see if they could freeze a door. So now all souls have to come through this way untill the promblem can be fixed."  
  
Kurama didn't comment on that bit of enformation and let Botan continue. Botan started the spell to open the second entench.   
  
(I didn't see the first epiesode of Yu Yu Haksho. I only saw the episodes where he went after the spirit idems and the ones after that. So I don't know if she used a spell to get in or not. And I haven't seen the show in a long time so work with me here people and just go along with it.)  
  
In a language which only demons knew Botan began the spell.(And no I don't know demon.)  
  
Oh hear me door to the passage of souls open to us so we may pass in to your depths.   
  
Open to me the guider of souls so that I my enter the realm of the dead.  
  
With the spell complete a great potal opened and out came a great gust of wind trying to suck them in.  
  
"Normally souls don't have to use a spell but living souls do. Hold on to your soul or it will get sucked in!"said Botan. She said a few more words which no one could hear and the wind stopped.  
  
Then went through the portal and ended in a dark cavern over a river. suddenly a boat appered with a cloaked person glideing it toward them.  
  
"Hello Botan I see your back and you brought friends too."said the dark figure.  
  
"Yes I hope I'm not bothering you."said Botan.  
  
"Not at all. You can have the boat now I have a date with someone."  
  
The figuere looked up at Kikyou and they could see his skull face.  
  
"Ah I remember you miss. I never forget a face, expecially one with such beauty. You were quite the passenger, always asking such great questions about this place and about me."  
  
Kikyou searched her memories but could not remember about ever being here before or about him so she nodded.  
  
"Heres something for you. Your beauty was payment enough for the ride."   
  
He handed her a gold coin, put his skeletal hand to his head and bowed his head and vanished. Kikyou looked at both sides of the coin. On one side there was a angel surronded by butterflys and fairys that were holding a white light. On the other side there was the angel but with demon wings surrounded by shinidamachuu holding souls. as Kikyou looked the angel with the demon wings transformed in to her and winked, by the angel tranformed into Kagome and smiled and then started to mouth something. Kikyou startedled by this dropped it in to the boat.  
  
As the oar hoved above the boat untill it was a few feet above it, Kikyou droped down in to it and picked up the now blank coin. Botan said nothing and took the oar and the one they had been rideing and began to row across the river.  
  
Kurama looked at her as she put the coin into her pocket. His eyes filled with conncern and Kikyou looked at him with anger once more.   
  
"What?"asked Kikyou.  
  
"Nothing."replyed Kurama.  
  
Kikyou's eyes turned emotionless as she reminded herself that the only emotion she could show was no emotion.   
  
"That coin will help us turn you human,its lucky for us that he gave it back to us."said Botan.  
  
"Who...who was he?"asked Kikyou.  
  
"He was the Grim Reaper. There are more Grim Reapers besides myself but he was the first and the oldest."  
  
"That coin how will it help us?" replyed Kurama.  
  
"The coins reflect the life of the dead. Their all different and there all alive like the second door to the underword that we just passed through. Their also payment for him. The new Grim Reapers don't accept coins any more except for him. That coin will be able to help us because it holds part of Kikyou's humanity. With Kagome now dead we should have no promblems."  
  
"No I want my own soul not hers! I want the part of me I had before I was dead and after I was dead. I want to be me not her! And how will this work anyway?"  
  
"Well...useing the part of you you have now and the rest of the parts of you I'll have to gather we can make you human. But it will be extremaly difficult. Even without your request. This spell can kill the spell casters, Thats why we never did it on Yusuke. Very few people are willing to try it and it has been banned too. But we don't have time for the longer version! Even now Naruku's growing in power from the Shikon jewel! He hasn't wished for anything yet but he doesn't have to. He's power has grown over the centuries and years since he was defeted by you and Inuyasha and the rest of your group. I still can't belive that a single piece of him that remained and that that piece regenerated the rest of him. He also promblemly trained all these years just to get more powerful."  
  
"But how did he get the jewel?"asked Kurama.  
  
"After Kagome died from a illness. Inuyasha put the jewel back in the old shrine where it use to rest when you had it Kikyou. Inuyasha lives there now along with Shippo and Kagome's grave's there to I think. Inuyasha use the demon wards that she made before her death and put them around the jewel. Since he is half demon they didn't affect him much. Naruku used his new power of hideing himself so he can't be sensed and got the jewel right from under Iunyasha's nose. Inuyasha either knows that he took by now or thinks that it finally dissappered. Its been a week since it happened and a day since we found out." said Botan.  
  
Kurama and Kikyou sensed Naruku's power and sensed that he had just tranformed in to a whole demon.  
  
"Naruku's transformed into a full demon now,"said Kikyou,"He promblemly didn't wish to rule the world sense he promblemly wants to do it himself unless he has another motive."  
  
"Yes then that means we'll have to hurry."said Kurama.  
  
~  
  
The trio(three) passed down a long hall way then took a ride on a elevator (Which Kikyou almost blew up thinking it was evil.) and down another hallway and then to a huge set of twin doors. Demons and other beings looked at them as they pasted but quickly went back to work.  
  
"This is Koenma's office. Please Kikyou don't treat him with disrespeact just because of his size, he is quite powerful. The others are waiting inside as well."said Botan.  
  
"Very well. I will try my best." said Kikyou. Kikyou stepped in front of the doors and pushed them open stepping in with out another thought or word. Kurama and Botan walked in after her.  
  
Kikyou let her emotionless eyes travel the room. "Two humans, a demon, well two demon's if you count Kurama, a oni, and this Koenma.' thought Kikyou. She walked over to Koenma's desk and put both her hands on it and looked straight at Koenma and said: "Lets get this over with I didn't wait centuries and years just to get introduced to you and your team. I'm not interested in meeting these people, I'm not interested in meeting you, and I'm not interested in makeing friends. All I'm interested in is killing Naruku and becomeing human. Now we can get this over with now or I can leave, in which case I doubt this band of pathetic humans and demons can defeat him with out my help. So don't waste my time." Kikyou's eye's flashed dangerestly and she put her mouth into a thin line. Not a word could be heard in the room and several people had there mouths hanging wide open. Kikyou looked around to see if she had got her point across and then sat down next to Kurama and folded her hands neatly in her lap and gave a small evil smile.  
  
'I can't belive she just did that!'thought Botan.  
  
'Finally someone besides me that has the guts to stand up to that little toddler. But who is she calling pathetic!?'thought Yusuke.  
  
'I'm starting to like her.'thought Hiei.  
  
'She's in for it now. She can not talk to him like that, or can she' thought Jorju.(The Oni thats always around Koenma.)  
  
'Who does she think she is!? Well for someone whos stuck up she's kind of cute!'Thought Kuwabara.  
  
'Was she ever like this to me? I guess ghost can change. That would explain her anger toward me.'thought Kurama.  
  
"Okay Ms.Kikyou. We'll begin now." said Koenma.  
  
~  
  
Intruductions was handed out on the way out of the buiding so was the news so far about Naruku takeing the jewel.  
  
"Well need every one to step on one point of the pentagram(You know one of those stars that are seen on occolt movies and horror movies and stuff like that.) in the middle will be Kikyou and the coin and this glass box of the parts of her soul. every one will need to combind there spirit energy and conncentrate it on the spell. Since I'm the one that says the spell the rest of you will be the spell casters along with me. You won't have to say anything just conncentrate on the spell. This won't be easy we could be killed by trying to do this but the only way Kikyou can fight is if she is no longer a ghost. Is every one ready? Good then lets begin."said Botan. She held a piece of parchement in front of her and was about to begin when Yusuke intruped her.  
  
"Wait a minute how come you didn't try this on me? I went through all that trouble and all this time you could have just used this?"  
  
"Yusuke I told you. This spell is very dangerest and it was banned. We don't have time for this so lets start the spell."said Botan.  
  
Koenma stood to the side with Jorju and watched as the spell began.  
  
Everyones spirit energy surrounded them (Like in Sailor Moon. Okay every one say Sailor teleport! Everyone:NO!! Okay okay you didn't have to shout.)  
  
'Its working I can feel myself changeing. I am becomeing human. For over a thousand years I have waited for my dream to come true!'thought Kikyou.  
  
A pain like being ripped apart went through Kikyou's body as the coin and the parts of her self along with her ghost self combinded. Kikyou looked down at her body.   
  
No longer was she transparent she now exsited on the same physical plane as every liveing soul on earth. Then she relised she was floating.  
  
Kurama caught her as she fell and Kikyou relised there faces were very close to each other and the fact that everyone was looking at them. She did the only thing she knew of to get out of the situation. She slapped Kurama.  
  
Kikyou fell on the floor, Kurama grabed his cheak and went in to shock because he can't belive she just hit him. Yusuke started laughing like a maniac. And everyone else sweatdropped(Like in anime when something funny happens everyone does that.)  
  
"Ow why did you do that! I could have landed on my feet you know!"  
  
"Well I wasn't expecting you to hit me. Were you always this rude!?"  
  
"Always rude...why you little!"  
  
Koenma banged a gong(That came out of nowhere.) and everyone went slient and grabed their ears.  
  
"Now would you to be quite. We have more important things to take care of."said Koenma.  
  
"Your right."said Kikyou. 'How could I have acted like that I'm starting to act like that foolish girl Kagome. I hope I don't have anything of her in my soul. Okay Kikyou calm down the only emotion you can feel is no emotion.'thought Kikyou.  
  
~  
  
(Oh Yeah the mall!! Now what do I need a new dress some new shoes? Kikyou: Where not here for you were here for me! Jazz7: Oh sorry about that! Now lets get back to the story.)  
  
"Why are we here?" asked Kikyou.  
  
"To get you some clothes."said Botan.  
  
"Wheres everyone else."said Kurama.  
  
"They split as soon as I said women's department."  
  
"And thats why I have this leash around my neck so I won't run away right."said Kurama.  
  
"Thats right Kurama! Bwa haa, Bwaa haaa,Bwa haaaaaa!"  
  
Kurama and Kikyou sweat drop as Botan continues to laughs evily.  
  
"Okay guys I'll find the others,"said Botan by takeing out her oar and makeing it be as big as a door,"And hit them on the head! I mean find them and bring them back! Meet me by the food court! Bye!"  
  
With that said Botan ran off leaveing Kurama and Kikyou togather.  
  
"Okay lets find me some new clothes since I can't go around in your time in these."  
  
"Um...yeah. Well I'll find us a seat at the food court."said Kurama. He started walking away untill Kikyou tuged on his leash.  
  
"Not so fast! You have to be my guide I don't know my way around."  
  
"Kurama how about we try this store."said Kikyou. Kurama looked at the store. It said in fancy writeing Victoria's Secret.   
  
"So said Kikyou can we go in? Any store with a trade secret has to be good right?"(Remember Kikyou doesn't know anything about modern times.)  
  
'Well let's go in. Besides I bet your wondering about how she would look with barely nothing on,'said Kurama's demon side.   
  
'What not at all!!'   
  
'Not even one dirty thought?'  
  
'Well I would be lieing if I said that...'  
  
Kikyou saw Kurama looking at her strangely and started to get mad. "KURAMA! WAKE UP!" she screamed into his ear. Kurama jumped 6 feet into the air and was now hanging from a light post.  
  
"Why...you didn't have to yell."  
  
"Stop daydreaming and get down from there!"  
  
Several people stoped and stared at them. "Mommy why is that man hangging up there?"asked a little girl,"Don't look at them sweetie."  
  
Kurama dropped down to the floor and started to blush. 'How in the world did I get into this mess?'thought Kurama. He grabed Kikyou and ran like the wind to another section of the mall.  
  
Kurama and Kikyou were walking past a store when two weird people grabed them and threw them into the store.  
  
"Hi I'm Fifi and welcome to our new store!!"screamed a overly happy young women(Kurama:Is that you? Jazz7:Of course not! Overly happy people make me sick!)  
  
"And I am Lock and I will help you buy something, yes I wil!!"screamed another overly happy idoit. I mean person.  
  
Kikyou looked at the man and women and grabed them by the neck and brought them to her eye level. "Listen to me you two piles of crap. Stop the damn screaming or I will cut off both of you idoits fucking heads. Do you understand me?"  
  
Lock and Fifi nodded.  
  
"Good now hurry up and bring me a pair of clothes."  
  
Kikyou stood in front of a long fancy mirror. "What do you think Kurama."asked Kikyou. She looked away at the mirror and straight at him.  
  
Kurama looked at Kikyou. She now had on black boats that reached her knees and a red long dress on. The bottom of the dress starting at the top of the boats was cut in to strips. So when she moved they moved around the boats and showed them off. The dress was short sleaved and the sleave stoped at three inches down her arm. The waist of the dress had several slits in it that went around her waist and crossed over each other and showed the black body suit underneath. The body suit had short sleaves like the dress. And stoped at her knees(So its like a short body suit.) and was cut with slits like the waist of the dress. So both showed parts of her stomach but not alot of it.(The slits are only one inche wide.)  
  
"You don't like it do you?" said Kikyou. she looked down at the floor.  
  
"No," said Kurama,"I like it." He walked over to Kikyou and put one finger under her chin bring her head up to meet his. And then......................................................................................... Fifi and Lock said in a very cheery voice ruining the momment:"Now will that be cash or credit?!!!!!!"  
  
Kikyou annoyed at both Kurama for thouching her and at the two idoits who screamed at them, decided to kill them. She picked up her bow and arrows that was lying next to her old clothes and put a arrow through both there heads.  
  
"KIKYOU HOW COULD YOU?!!! I know they were idoits but still..."Yelled Kurama.   
  
"Do you want a piece of me too. No? then shut up and lets go find the others." Kikyou started to walk away when she didn't hear Kurama behind her. She ran back to him threw her arms around him and kissed him.(Just kidding lets see what really happened.)  
  
Kikyou started to walk away when she didn't hear Kurama behind her. She ran back to him and put her head close to his. And(Do you really want to know? Crowd of peopled:YES! Jazz7: Okay then lets get back to the show.) Kikyou put two fingers between his lips and hers and kissed them.  
  
Kurama shocked by this action(Since it is the closes thing to kissing.) pulled away and stared at her.  
  
"Now lets go. Okay? And don't think I did that because I wanted to, I just did it so it would take your mind off what just happened."said Kikyou.   
  
Kikyou and Kurama walked out of the store and saw Botan outside the store with the others.(All of them with bumps on there heads and knocked out.)  
  
"There you to are. I was going to stay at the food court but I heard a new store just opened up. Nice outfit by the way."said Botan.  
  
"Thanks.,"said Kikyou by pointing her arrow at the store and filling it with her spirit energy,"Oh and about the store, it moved."Kikyou let the arrow go and it hit the store makeing it explode. Botan shurged and started talking about the camping equipment she found while Kikyou put her old clothes in a plastic bag and draged Kurama out the mall before he could go into shock.(Agian.)  
  
A burnt up Lock crawled out of the store. "I'm alive I'm alive!," The store sign fell on top of him.,"Dang it." And those were his last words.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I would continue but I think I'll leave you with that. If you guys think I was funny I will write some comedy fanfiction. And don't forget to review. Oh and love, peace, and Cargo pants! 


	4. Chapter 4

Okay heres the next chapter of My Will. *sigh* Why I am I so sad? Because only one person reviewed chapter 3. You people could have been nice enough to leave reviews. *sigh*  
  
I guess thats just how the cookie curmbles. Heres the next chapter. This time nothing is going to be funny in this chapter. But it is going to have romance and a little bit of singing.  
  
"Words" and 'Thoughts' and some thoughts won't have this 'sign'.  
  
Discalmer: Look I'm going to call the police on you people if you don't leave me alone. I don't own them dammit and I never will! Go ask someone else!  
  
My Will ch.4  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
That was the 5th demon she had killed. And Now Kikyou was just bored.  
  
She had long ago tired of hearing Yusuke asking asking Botan if they were lost, and Botan not wanting to admit it saying that it was suppost to take this long to reach there destionation. Well no wonder it takes over 5 hours to get to there, you have to pass the same tree 5 times before you finally know where your going.  
  
Kuwabara didn't help matters much when he took the map from Botan to prove that he had a better since in direction. And thats why they almost fell of a cliff. Because of his so called since of direction.  
  
At least Hiei wasn't annoying. He was as silent and bored as herself!  
  
And Kurama... Well she just couldn't talk to him. What exzactly would they say? Hi how have you been doing for the last 20 or so years?(I don't know how old he is.)  
  
The Kurama she knew was a 6 year old little boy, if you didn't count his demon side. But the one now was all grown up. What the hell was she suppost to say to him!? One half of her was mad for him not keeping his promise and the other half was glad that she got to see him agian.  
  
And that half of her was the side that she was afraid of.  
  
He was suppost to mean nothing to her. She had seen many children come and go, some makeing the same promise he had and she had never thought or felt anything for them once they left her forest.   
  
So then why did she cry for him? That day...The day he left and she held him and cried. The only time besides the first years of being a ghost had she cried. But why? She had seen a hundred children besides him leave her. Why?  
  
Why indead. Why was he the only one that for days after he left she thought about? Maybe it was that she found something of herself in him. They were both alike, they both had a secret. For Kikyou it was that she was a ghost and when she was a child it was her powers. For Kurama it was the demon inside of him and his own powers. Maybe for that reson alone he told her his real name instead of the one his mother calls him.  
  
It was just so confuseing. Just like it was so confuseing when she met and fell in love with Inuyasha.   
  
Inuyasha huh? That was another secret and mistake that she would aways carry with her. Their romance had led to her and so many others deaths. Which was something she could never forgive herself for. Exspecily since because her death had killed her sister.   
  
Kaede had always looked up to her, and when she died she was on her own. Without her sister and without something to believe in she started to blame and hate her. So it was only natural that when she was about to get killed she came to see her death.   
  
Ironc isn't it that when she did it caused her own death.  
  
And even more ironic was that she got to see her die on her own death bed. Her words haunted her even now.  
  
"Kikyou. How could you leave this world to me. For that I hate you. I hope your own madness and insanity damns you to hell for enternity."  
  
Those were her last words. At her death she could finally see her own sister. And damn her too.  
  
The last words of her sister repeated itself in her head. It was almost to much to bare.  
  
Kikyou waited untill Kurama and the others were far ahead, to sink to her knees. Her sisters last words were makeing her go insane.   
  
"Your not there. Your dead. Leave me alone."she wispered the words to herself over and over. It was the same thing she had been saying to herself since her sister said those words to her years ago.  
  
She almost didn't notice when Kurama walked back and put his arms around her.   
  
When she did she pulled his arms off of her and stood up. She looked at him with anger. More angery at herself then him.  
  
"I don't need your help I can take care of myself." She said it just loud enough for him to hear and just harsh enough that he got the point.   
  
Kikyou walked away from him knowing that she had hurt his feelings and wanting to smack herself on the head because she cared.  
  
~  
  
"We should be arriveing at the shrine tomarrow."  
  
Everyone sighed or rolled their eyes at Botan's words. She had said the same thing today, except when she said "we should arrive before sunset." And now it was nighttime.  
  
They had aready set up camp. And Kuwabara was trying to cook and failing badly. Botan yelled at the group to tell them she knew where they were going. Hiei told her she couldn't find her way out of her own office, so how the hell was she going to get them to where they wanted to go. Botan jumped on him and hit him with the rolled up map which started a fight between the two. As everyone was distracted Kikyou left the group.  
  
Kikyou stepped into what she had been looking for.  
  
The lake with the red flowers growing in it. (The one in the 1st ending for Inuyasha.) It had always been her favorite spot to sit and think so long ago. It also marked that they were close to Inuyasha's woods and her home. It was supriseing that it still stands. Many thought that it was built on where Kagome's parents shrine is, but the truth is her parents shrine just looks like the original shrine which was the one they were heading to now. The one where they were going to so they could question Inuyasha.  
  
"Inuyasha...even after all these years your presence still haunts me. I wish you would just leave. Theres just to much for time to erase."Kikyou said to herself. She sighed and looked up at the cresent moon.  
  
"I can't hold on to my feelings for you, if I do when I see you it will just make it all much more harder."  
  
Kikyou stepped on to the lake. She used her spirit power to inhabit the water so she could walk on the surface.(Just like in Final Fantasy 10.) Kikyou deicide to do what she always did to express her feelings. She decided to sing...  
  
(Play if you have it the song My Will at this part. Theres Three lines of lyrics then theres what shes doing while shes singing.)  
  
Quitely awakeing...  
  
My world has no meaning   
  
But my ways not easiy to go  
  
Kikyou walked out to the middle of the l lake. She out streached her hand and the water rippeled.   
  
Years...  
  
Thousands of years in exsitence  
  
When I see love I have to take my time  
  
The water under her came upward so that she was standing on a pedestal of water.(Agian. Its like in FF10 when Yuna did the sending or what ever its called on that one city in the beganinng of the game.)  
  
Spent my days alone  
  
Being by myself  
  
Without you...  
  
She Let the water splash up around her where she moved her hand. she let it make a dazzeling display of effects.  
  
Thinking of you...  
  
Made me cry   
  
So many times  
  
'Its true the lyrics. I do think of you all the time Inuyasha. But the lyrics seemed to have changed from what they were before.'   
  
But I have...  
  
My will to be strong with out you  
  
'Know I have to be strong without you but its not as easiy as it seems.'  
  
I have...  
  
My will to be with you agian  
  
'I don't want to be with you any longer. And I know you don't want that either. Somehow amiting it to myself doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. Maybe I've found something else to live for'  
  
Believe...  
  
Believe...  
  
Believe...  
  
'Or maybe someone else to live for...'  
  
(Okay you can stop playing My Will if you want. The singing parts over.)  
  
Kikyou voice faded away with the song and the waters went back to normal. She stepped back on to the dirt ground and sat down with her knees to her chest and put her arms around them. Kikyou rested her head on the top of her knees and closed her eyes. She reopened her senseing powers and sensed Kurama. She took her head off of her knees and looked at the bushes besides her, when she heard rustleing in the bushes.  
  
"How long have you be standing there?"asked Kikyou. She didn't turn to look at Kurama she turned her head to look at the lake instead.  
  
"Long enough."said Kurama. He sat down beside her and followed her gaze across the lake.  
  
"Kikyou-"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it!"She stood up and looked down at him. Angery brown eyes met clam green ones, as they both stared at each other.   
  
Kikyou bowed her head so shadows would crossover her face. So he couldn't see what see was feeling inside.  
  
"If...you have to leave...I wish you would just leave! Your presence still haunts me too. Maybe there are things that time can erase..."  
  
"Kikyou...I know things are a little...confuseing..."  
  
"Confuseing? How can you possiblely know what I'm feeling? You have kept your life, while I have lost mine. So don't tell me what the hell is confuseing!"  
  
"Kikyou...Why do you hold such anger toward me? Is it about what happened back in the woods so long ago?"  
  
"Kurama...Its...not that..."  
  
Kurama stepped up to her and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and pulled her into a embrace. Kikyou strugled to get away from him, but since he wasn't about to let go she gave up. She relaxed into the embrace but didn't put her arms around him like he did with her.  
  
"Its not weakness to give into the pain of the moment."said Kurama.   
  
"I don't care. I don't want to feel anymore, its too hard. I can't..."  
  
Kurama pulled away sightly to put both of his hands on her cheaks and pull her head up untill their foreheads were touching. Kikyou brought her hands up and let her fingers trail through his long red hair. Their lips almost touched when they pulled away when they heard a strange noise.  
  
"Kuwabara be quite! They'll hear us." wispered a Botan.  
  
"I can't help it. this kind of tree makes me snezze."wispered back Kuwabara.  
  
"Would both of you shutup. God I wish I had some popcorn or something."said Yusuku.  
  
"I find it disgusting. Who cares what they do, they can makeout or have se-"said Hiei before he was interupted by someone jabbeing him in the ribs.(We all know what he was about to say.)  
  
Hiei started to take out his sword to slice Botan(Who had hit him in the ribs) When everyone made a tried to stop him and they all fell out of the tree and landed on their heads.  
  
Kikyou pulled away from Kurama and started giggleing. While Kurama for once looked slightly mad. And everyone else made excuses for being there.(Except Hiei. He just left.)  
  
"How long have you been hideing up in that tree watching us?"asked Kikyou.  
  
"Not long. We came just when you Kurama was saying that things are confuseing."Said Botan,"Well we have to go see you at the camp site." all three of them ran off leaveing Kurama and Kikyou alone.  
  
"Kurama...Would you have kissed me if they hadn't interfered?"  
  
"I'm not sure...Would you?"  
  
"No. I think we were both caught up in the pain of the moment."  
  
Kurama started walking away untill Kikyou steped in frount of him.  
  
"That song you heard me singing...Lets keep it between you and me. It will be like our secret song. Okay?"  
  
"Yes I understand. It wil be our secret song, I won't tell anyone."  
  
"Thanks."said Kikyou. She kissed him on the cheak and started walking back to camp. She looked over her shoulder to see that Kurama was still standing there, then she looked in frount of her and dissapered from view.  
  
Kurama stood there for a moment, then he looked up at the moon."Maybe it was just the pain of the moment..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Aw that was all sappy and what not. Oh well. Its Not like I don't like romance its just that I think that might have been too sappy. Well the next chapter will have some action in it, Because Kikyou has to fight-  
  
Dark side of Jazz7:Don't tell them! They'll just have to read the next chapter to find out.  
  
Light side of Jazz7:Yeah, read chapter 5 to find out. But the only way your going to get it is if you review.  
  
Jazz7:So review. Just hit that little button that says "Go" and review please. 


	5. Chapter 5

Well one review agian. I wonder if anyone is reading this. Well if you are you sure aren't stateing that you are by not reviewing. I have the same problem with my other fanfiction.(which you should read.) You people should review, so I at least know to update. If you don't I will problemly finish it but not post any chapters up on this site. I'm not really desprate for reviews, I could care less if you don't review. But it would be nice if you did so I would know that people are reading my story and that you guys do want me to update. That goes for the people that read my other fanfiction too. Now lets start the chapter.  
  
'Thoughts', "Words", and some thoughts won't be surrounded by this 'sign'.  
  
Disclamer:If you don't own them then nether do I.  
  
My Will ch.5  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The wind went through the trees and the grass. It seemed to lift everything into the air with it as if on wings.   
  
A lone figure stood on the rolling hills of grass. Her back was turned toward the direction of the field and her chest toward the direction of the surrounding woods. Her black hair free of its ribbon, moved with the wind in a neverending dance. Her red and white robes, fluttered in the breazse.   
  
The women lifted up a hand to her head and let her fingures trail through her hair. She then turned her head a little to the side and said:"Kurama..."  
  
Kikyou woke up. She sat up in the middle of the clearing of the woods and put a hand to her heart. The dream may have been gone but it still upset her. What in the world could it mean?  
  
Kikyou looked up at the sky. From the position of the sun it was noon.  
  
"Damn."She cussed to herself. She was suppost to be up hours ago. Why was it that she was always late for important events? She was late to get the Shikon jewel, she was late for her training to be a priestess, she was late to her little sisters suprise birthday party, everything that was important that she was suppost to attend she was late to.  
  
Maybe it was because of last night...  
  
After being held by Kurama she felt a little sleepy. Maybe it was that she finally relaxed when she was held by him and let go of all of her stress. Or maybe it was his sent. He smelled like the calming scent of roses...  
  
Kikyou's thoughts weren't on him as she rushed to pick up her bow and arrows. She ran through the forest to get back to the camp site. She didn't even stop to tye her hair into her regular hair style. Her ribbon was currently gripped by her right hand. And she was too much in a hurry to stop and fix her hair.  
  
"She's late."said Hiei.  
  
It was now four hours after the time that they were suppost to leave. And Kurama was worried.  
  
Kikyou had left the camp site last night to go find somewhere else to sleep. She had said that she wanted to be alone and would meet them at seven o'clock to leave for the shrine.  
  
"Maybe we should go look for her."said Botan. Botan walked back and forther in the same spot. It was obvious that she was worried about the priestess. It wasn't supriseing she was always worried about anyone in there team that went missing.  
  
"So go send her boyfriend Kurama after her."said Yusuke. He sat with his hands behind his back, sitting behind a tree.  
  
Kurama glared at him. "I'm not her boyfriend."   
  
"Well then what exzactly do you mean to each other? Its obvious that you know each other very well and that you have met before."said Kuwabara.  
  
At that moment Kikyou burst through the trees. She stood in front of the others out of breath and with her right hand over her heart.  
  
"I...I...I'm sorry I'm late. W...w...we should problemly get going if we want to reach the shrine before Naruku catches on to what were doing." Kikyou tryed to regan her breath. She was never really that healthy when she was alive and thats why she never ran alot, besides in emergances. Now with her being alive agian she was aware of the fact that she wasn't very healthy now either.  
  
Botan looked relived and concered about Kikyou, But turned her back and started walking in the direction of the shrine with the others when Kikyou told them to go ahead with out her.   
  
Kurama looked at her with a worried glaze. He was both relived and worried about her health. He walked up to Kikyou and looked down at her. Kikyou didn't lookup and didn't sense him either. She was too worried about her own health.   
  
Kurama in one quick movement had picked Kikyou up in his arms.(He picked her up like a groom would do his bride.)  
  
Kikyou closed her eyes and put her head agianst his chest. She didn't move, didn't strugle, and didn't yell at him. She was just too tired to move or form the words she wanted to say.Her breaths went shallower as she drifted off into a uneasy sleep. She was reminded off how Inuyasha would always pick her up when she was too tired to walk. Her last words before falling asleep were: "Inuyasha..."  
  
Kurama was a little hurt that she was thinking of him. But what was he suppost to do? He was her first love and she was free to love who ever she wanted even if it wasn't him.  
  
He put his head ontop of her sleeping one and inhaled her scent. She smelled faintly of Kikyou flowers, the forest, and rainwater. Even if it wasn't raining.  
  
  
  
Botan turned around when she noticed that Kurama and Kikyou wasn't a part of the group. She told the others to keep going and ran off back to there old camp site.  
  
Botan was relived and stuned by what she saw. And debated with herself wether she should interrupt the moment before speaking.  
  
"Kurama..."  
  
Kurama sighed knowing that his moment with Kikyou was up and took his head off of hers. He looked up at Botan and sighed agian.  
  
"I'm comeing."  
  
Botan didn't question about him and Kikyou. In a strange way she knew what was going on, she left it up to them to decied and turned around and walked away.  
  
Kurama started walking away with Kikyou still in his arms. He stoped and frowned. He should put her up on his back so the others wouldn't question him, but it was too late now. And who gives a damn what they thought anyway. Because when the clock struck midnight, and Kikyou woke up, everything would be back to normal and it would be like this moment never exsited.  
  
~  
  
Kikyou walked through a cave. It was too dark to see, but see could see a few feet in front of her. And that she was wounded. Her shoulder had been ripped and one of her lungs were punctured.  
  
It was getting harder an harder to breath. Kikyou stop to rest a bit and the darkness closed around her. It was so thick she thought it would swollow her. Scared of being acctaly swollowed, she quickly moved on.  
  
Finally she entered a chamber in the cave. It was lit with some light reflecting off the puddles off water and the rock fectures. She looked down at herself. She was wearing the modern clothing that she had got at the mall. The boots had blood stains on it. Her blood stains.  
  
She steped feather into the room and looked around. She heard a step behind her and turned around. The way that she had come into the room disappered. Alarmed by this she took a step back.  
  
Arms wrapped themselfs around her shoulders.  
  
"What do you fear the most?"said a familer voice into her ear.  
  
Kikyou felt like she was about to cry for the first time in her life. The voice sounded so familer yet so evil. Who was it? Kikyou wimpered and didn't answer.  
  
"What do you fear the most?"it said agian. This time it sounded more demanding. And more evil.  
  
Kikyou couldn't help but answer. She said the first thing that came to her mind. "Love."  
  
"Why? Is it because of the past? The betrales, the failures, the pinning for someone who will never love you? Or is the feeling of being used and then thrown away? Like yesterdays trash."  
  
Tears ran down Kikyou's face. There was no exscape from the voice. It was like it could see right into her soul. But worser still was that it was someone she knew...  
  
"Shuss...Now don't cry,"the person relised her and came around to stand in front of her with their hands still on her shoulders."I'll always be there for you. Kikyou." That flash of red hair, it was like blood in the dark and the way he said "Kikyou". Like he owned her like she was just another possision that he could easily do without. Kikyou sivered and put her arms around her waist and lowered her head.  
  
A clawed fingure went under her chin and force herself to meet his green eyed gaze. He steped closer to her and put his face closer to hers. Too close.  
  
"Do you stil believe that love can come to us? Did you wait all these years for someone who would hurt you more then Inuyash did. You know betrale is such a bitch."said Kurama. He smiled a very evil smile. Like his lips didn't move upward they slithered upward.   
  
Kikyou stared into the eyes of her friend, her lover, her death. Green eyes met brown for one last stare. Kikyou could see nothing of the old Kurama in him, nothing of the little lost boy that she had fell in love with or the half demon half man that she had waited centaries for.  
  
His hands let themselfs explore her and Kikyou didn't stop him. (Don't worry, she still has her clothes on. Or else this would be R rated.) After all what was the use, he always got what he wanted. His lips touched hers in a barely there kiss and then he deeped it. He pulled away and put one hand on her cheak. Only a thin trail of slaiva and their bodies conncted to each other connected them. He wispered something to her.  
  
"You were always blind Kikyou, you just didn't know how blind. You can't teach a old fox new tricks." Then she felt the familer pain of a clawed hand through her heart as her blood spilled everywhere. He was right. Betrale is a bitch...  
  
~  
  
Kikyou woke up with a start. She noticed that she was being carried and looked into the face of the one carrying her.  
  
It was Kurama. She still remembered the dream and everything in it. She covered her hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming, and pushed him away. She landed on the ground and quickly got up.  
  
"Are you okay? You were moaning in your sleep."asked Kurama. Kikyou couldn't meet his eyes and lowered her head.   
  
"I'm okay..."said Kikyou. 'How can I look at him? In the dream he was, he did, I just can't...But it was just a dream right?'thought Kikyou.  
  
"Wheres the others?"  
  
"There out trying to see where we are. Don't worry they didn't hear you screaming in your sleep."replyed Kurama. He leaned his back agianst a tree and turned his head to look at a tree to his right.  
  
"Oh. Really. I mean, I was screaming?"said Kikyou. She looked at the ribbon in her right hand and tyed her hair in its regular style. She looked down at the grass instead of looking at him and wondered what to do. 'I was screaming? No wonder with the dream I had,'Kikyou thought to herself. She looked up at Kurama then and saw he still wasn't looking at her.'I wonder if its a vison of whats to come ahead. Would Kurama really do that to me? But then I don't know this Kurama, only the one when he was a child. And I could feel that there was more between me and Kurama in that dream then friendship. It was like a relationship really. Would Kurama betray me?'  
  
"You know this is kind of like back then, when I was lost in the woods with you."said Kurama. He turned his head and looked straight at her. Kikyou didn't turn away, she looked back at him.  
  
"Yes it is."replyed Kikyou.  
  
"Kikyou...Are you afraid of me?"asked Kurama.  
  
"What!?" Kikyou took a step back and placed a hand to her heart. His question reminded her of a simular one in her dream.  
  
"I said, are you afraid of me?"replyed Kurama. He took a step toward her and she took a step back.  
  
"You are aren't you? I can see it in your eyes..."said Kurama. He looked down at the ground.   
  
"Kurama...,"said Kikyou. She was reminded of the day she had first met him and how he was afraid of her. Kikyou stepped closer to him, dispite her innerselfs protests."I could never be afraid of you. Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too." She put a pale hand under his chin and brought his head up to look at her. She let her hand rest over his left cheek. He startled her a bit when he put his hand over her hand. He closed his eyes as he rubbed her hand across his cheek.  
  
"Aha, there you to are!"yelled Botan. Kurama and Kikyou quickly pulled away.  
  
"H..how long have you been standing there?"asked Kikyou. She put her hands behind her back and looked behind Botan to see the others.  
  
"Not long enough I'm afraid. I missed the good parts. And Kikyou are you blushing?"asked Botan. Kikyou felt her cheeks grow hot and quickly put her hands over them and turned away, by Botan laughed.  
  
"Ah I knew you guys were a item!,"exclamed Kuwabara. He ran up to Kurama and patted him on the back."Congragulations on getting a girlfriend!"  
  
Before Kurama could answer Kikyou went up to him and put her arms around his waist. She looked angerly a Kwabara and said: "Yes were happly married and have two kids. Of course he's not my boyfriend you idiot!" Kikyou pushed Kurama away from her and crossed her hands over her chest.   
  
"Now with out anymore interruptions or sidetracks, lets continue our jounery."said Kikyou.  
  
"Well nice to see you back too, sleeping beauty."said Yusuke. Kikyou glared at him and walked past the others, she yelled over her shoulder for them to hurry up and follow her or she was going to leave them behind.   
  
From far away a demon with a jewel smiled.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well thats it for this chapter. Next chapter Kikyou really does fight with someone and after all these years she and Inuyasha meet agian.  
  
This chapter almost had some R content in it, luckly for you guys I erased it and you have the chapter you just read. I think I just skimed the bar between PG13 and R, hopefully this won't turn into a R rated fanfiction because I hadn't planned for it to be R. And as you already know I plan all my fanfiction in my head first. That way I already know the plot and where the storys heading. But the R rated stuff that I erased and the stuff in chapter 3 and this one I didn't plan.  
  
Oh and I don't know if I put this up in the last chapter but: Do not take the lyrics that Kikyou was singing in the last chapter. Those belong to me. So if you want to use them, ask me first. So don't steal them. Okay?   
  
Well I'll see you guys next chapter and don't forget to review. 


	6. Chapter 6

Hi its me agian. I thought I would write one more chapter for you guys. I hope you like it, and don't forget to review at the end of the chapter.  
  
Disclamer:I don't own so don't ask.  
  
My Will ch.6  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kikyou shelided her eyes from the sun by putting a hand over her eyes. She looked around the field by the lake.  
  
Everything was the same as years ago. Nothing had changed, maybe not even her own feelings.  
  
Oneside of her wanted to hurry up and find Inuyasha. The otherside wanted to look around and go, hopeing to find something that would point to where Naruku was and not have to see Inuyasha in the progress.  
  
"Kikyou."Kurama said. He tapped her gently on the shoulder."Should we continue?"  
  
Everyone knew that see knew the area well, so for the time being she was the leader.  
  
"Yes lets go. We should cross the lake and head for my old home with Kaede. Inuyasha should be there." said Kikyou. She turned to look over her shoulder at him and gave him a small tiny smile. Being with him was teaching her to smile agian.  
  
Kikyou walked across the faimilier grass field and stepped into the boat tied to the dock. She waited untill everyone else was on to start rowing across the lake. Botan ordered Yusuku to help her and a agument began. Kurama helped her while everyone faught.  
  
"Is it always this noisey in your group."asked Kikyou. She was still smileing.  
  
"Sometimes, which is most of the time."replyed Kurama. He watched her face as she laughed. Her emotions changed constently. From anger and sadness to happyness. And from being afraid to being melencoly. He still hadn't forgotten about yesterday.  
  
'Was she really afraid of me. Would I really hurt her'thought Kurama.  
  
"Kurama are you alright?"asked Kikyou. Kurama smiled so that she wouldn't worry.  
  
"Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too."said Kurama with a smile.  
  
"Your useing my own saying agianst me! And I don't believe you Kurama, you forget I was once your babysiter."said Kikyou. She laughed when he blushed a deep red and looked away.  
  
"You weren't my babysiter. You just took care of me."  
  
"Samething really."said Kikyou.  
  
When the boat was tied up at the dock the group walked through the now empty village. When they reached the shrine steps they looked up at the long flight of stairs.  
  
"We have to climb up all those stairs!?"said Yusuku.  
  
"You can stay there then if your going to complain." said Hiei.  
  
"What was that!? I can climb them, its just that after all that walking we have to climb stairs now."  
  
Kikyou didn't say anything and started to climb, the others followed her. Kikyou reached the top and stood watching the others climb.   
  
"Watch out Kuwabara for that fourth to the last step." said Kikyou. As soon as she said that Kuwabara almost triped. Botan looked at her in admazement.  
  
"How did you know that?"she asked.  
  
"I lived here for all of my life. I always had to climb these shrine stairs to go back and forth from my home to the villagers. It was part of my job really, if you can call being a priestess a job."said Kikyou. Her eyes clouded over with a unseen emotion then they went back to normal.  
  
"Lets go."said Kurama. Kikyou nodded and lead them to the shack that used to be her and her sisters home.  
  
"Ah I remember this!"exclamed Kikyou. She ran over to a tree besides which once was her house. She rubbed her hand agianst a couple of scratches in the bark.   
  
"It was me and Kaede's old growth chart. It appears she was taller then me at age 9..."Kikyou trailed off lost in memories of the past. A warm hand on her shoulder reminded her of the present. She stood up and took his hand off her shoulder and opened up her senses so that she could sense Inuyasha.  
  
"He's close by. He's in the field behind this shrine. The one right by that tree..."said Kikyou. The tree was the sameone that she had pinned Inuyasha agianst years ago.  
  
Kikyou ran off, despite her health, and headed for where Inuyasha was, leaveing the others to follow her.   
  
~  
  
Kikyou running when she saw the familier mane of white hair with matching dog ears. 'So he stayed human after all. I knew he didn't turn human from Botan information and from seeing him years ago by still...If he was a full demon there would be nothing to remember..."thought Kikyou. Kurama, Botan, and the rest stayed away watching them from behind her a yard away.  
  
The still small fox demon Shippo, who had stayed and lived with Kagome and Inuyasha, pulled on his pants leg. Inuyasha was wearing blue jeans and a red shirt, along with the now usless beads around his neck. With Kagome dead Inuyasha was now free from Kaede's spell.  
  
Inuyasha turned around with a suprised look on his face. He had sensed her and her companions before, but he was still suprised.   
  
"Kikyou..."Inuyasha half wispered. Kikyou let tears silently fall down her face, as the present sliped away and it seemed that all that remained was the past. In both there minds they changed back to how they were back then, and everyone but them remained.   
  
Kikyou took a step toward him then ran into his arms and cryed. Inuyasha looked sadly at the girl in his arms that he had never stoped thinking about not even for a moment. At least back when they were still looking for Shikon jewel shards. Now things had changed, and he relised that as the settings returned to normal.  
  
"Inuyasha...,"Kikyou looked up at him and pulled away from him. She wiped away her tears, and her once gentle sad ones turned angry."How could you kill me for that copy!? Was it worth it!? Did you think of me once!? Even when you sharded moments that should have been shared between me and you, with her!? You basterd, you stabed me with your own claws! Was it worth it Inuyasha!? Huh, was it!?"yelled Kikyou.  
  
Inuyasha stunned by this didn't know how to react, then he slowly began to get angry."And what about you!? You were the one trying to kill me!? You even once joined Naruku and Sesshoumaru!!"yelled Inuyasha.  
  
"So! I was only useing Naruku! And were not talking about Sesshoumaru were talking about you!! So don't get off the damn subject!! I'm free to see and be with who ever I want! And that doesn't include Naruku! You stay out of my life and I'll stay out of your, since its obvious that you think that my copys better then me."  
  
"Stop calling her "your copy" she has a name damnmit!! And its Kagome, Kagome not Kikyou!"  
  
"She is my rencarnation and I'm the origenal, so she is my copy. And I know that!! You always value her more than me!! Which one do you like Inuyasha you can't have both!!"yelled Kikyou through her tears of furstation.  
  
Inuyasha was reminded with Kikyou's words that Kagome said the samething. "Kagome..."  
  
"My names not Kagome, you basterd its Kikyou. And I hate you so much for what you did, that hell's to good for you!!"yelled Kikyou. Inuyasha looked angerly past her and at Kurama. He was currently looking at Kikyou wondering if she was going to be okay, from this echange with Inuyasha.  
  
"And what about him,"said Inuyasha mentioning Kurama."You talk about my personal life, you become human and your already fucking someone! And a demon too, I can smell his scent all over you."said Inuyasha. Kikyou's eyes got wider, while Kurama blushed a light pink. Kikyou narrowed her eyes and said with more coldness and venom in her life then she had ever before:"I'm not fucking him for your information, and he's just a friend. And I think this has gone on long enough Inuyasha."  
  
Kikyou made a fist and a very small doll that looked just like Inuyasha, made out of her sprite energy appeared. She squezzed it and Inuyasha cringed. It felt like the life was being squezzed out of him as Kikyou's sprite energy surrounded him.  
  
Kikyou smile a evil smile and squezzed harder and harder untill she could feel and hear his ribs crack. Shippo came up and tryed to attack her but with just a smack with two fingers from her other hand he was thrown into the lake nearby. When Kikyou saw that blood was trailing down Inuyasha's mouth and that he had had enough, she raised her arm in the air and Inuyasha raised with it. She pointed her arm toward the direction of the lake and let go of the spirit doll of Inuyasha. When he was hovering in the air she took out her bow and arrows and shot him in his chest. The blast sent him hurling into the lake.   
  
Kikyou turned her back on him and walked over to Kurama.   
  
"I didn't do it for you, I just didn't want him to get the wrong idea about us." she smiled evily at him and Kurama wondered if this was a side of Kikyou that she had been hideing. If so it was defently a side he didn't like...  
  
He stood and watched her walk back to what was now Inuyasha's house as the others tryed to get Inuyasha and Shippo out of the lake.(With Botan yelling at them to do so of course.)  
  
~  
  
Kikyou stood outside in the cold night air. After the events of today, she didn't want to go inside and face Inuyasha. She didn't want to face Kurama either. He seemed not to like the side of her he saw today, and that bothered her. It was like he only liked one side of her and nothing else. Why? Was it because he didn't like her, just her good side? Now she was mad.  
  
"Are you comeing back inside Kikyou?" asked Kurama. He stood in back of her with his hands across his chest.  
  
"No. Now leave me alone."  
  
Kurama raised a eyebrow but said nothing. Kikyou sighed and started walking toward the direction of Kagome's well.   
  
She stoped when she was about to step into the woods and turned around. "Are you still following me!? Would you go away, your not a little lost boy in the woods anymore, so stop following me!!"yelled Kikyou. She was about to turn around when Kurama grabbed her arm and yelled at her: "Your right I'm not, but I still think that your more lost then me!"  
  
"What, I am not lost! I know where I am!!"yelled back Kikyou. She tried to get him to let go but he wouldn't so she turned around.  
  
"No, you don't. I could sense it even back then, when it wasn't as strong. Your still trying to hide and pretend you don't have feelings. And even now your trying to hide from me and yourself!"  
  
"What do you care? You only like one side of me, did it hurt you when you found out I'm not the good little priestess you took me for?"  
  
"No,"said Kurama,"It didn't hurt. I couldn't like any side of you."  
  
"So its true. You feel nothing for me..."said Kikyou. She bowed her head and let her bangs get in the way of her eyes as a cold wind blew.  
  
"Thats not true. I couldn't like any side of you because I like you for who you are. Kikyou, there is not just one side of you. And to like just one side of you I would miss out on the others..." said Kurama.  
  
"...."Kikyou keep silence.  
  
"Just like I'm sure you don't just like me when I was the boy I was back then. Or do you?"  
  
Kikyou turned around and embraced him. Just like she did those many years ago when they met long ago.   
  
"No, I don't. Because who you are now and who you are then are one and the same."said Kikyou. She pulled away and looked into his dark green eyes.  
  
"We should head back shouldn't we?"asked Kurama as he looked into her dark brown eyes.  
  
"Yes we should. From the information Inuyasha gave us, we should be able to find Naruku. We should get some rest."  
  
Kikyou pulled away and walked back to the house she looked back once over her shoulder and then was gone.  
  
~  
  
'Did she mean it, what she said? And why should I care anyway? Were just friends...'Kurama thought to himself. He had been awake for an hour now after everyone else was asleep. He couldn't seem to sleep.  
  
He turned over from his side to his back. He still was dressed in what he had worn today, since if he couldn't sleep there was no since undressing.(And no I'm not going to discribe what he's wearing.)  
  
He heard a sound and sat up. He looked at the door of his room. Beyond that was the hall to the main room and everyone elses rooms. His door was still open. He heard a faint swishing noise and knew what it was.   
  
It was the familier sound of Kikyou's red dress moveing agianst the black boots she wore. He saw the boots and the rest of her pass by his door and down the hall into the main room. Kurama stood up with a frown and followed her, wondering what she could be doing up at this time of night.  
  
Kikyou stoped and leaned agianst the open window frame and looked out at the night sky. The moon was a quarter moon and the stars could clearly be seen above the trees. She didn't move when someone joined her.  
  
"Kurama, what are you doing up this late at night?"asked Kikyou.  
  
"And what are you doing?"replyed Kurama.  
  
"Watching the stars." said Kikyou. An uneasy silence past between them as they remembered what they had said to each other hours before.  
  
"You always gazed at the stars, I still can't see why you do." said Kurama.  
  
"You still can't? Neither can I. Maybe I'm looking for something."  
  
"Like What?"asked Kurama.  
  
"A North Star that never appears. I keep searching for a home, a understanding that I can't seem to find."said Kikyou. She put her head on top of her folded hands that rested on the window seal and leaned agianst the wall.  
  
"You don't need to continue searching Kikyou. When this is all over I-"Kurama was interrupted by a searing pain through out his whole body. He let one hand grip the window seal by he sank to the floor. Kikyou put her hands onto his shoulders and droped down to the floor besides him.  
  
"Kurama! Are you all right!?"said Kikyou.  
  
"I'm not sure, I think-"he stoped talking and hissed at the pain. Kikyou looked around hopeing that someone else was in the room so that they could help her. No one else was there. Kikyou cursed under her breath and layed Kurama on the floor. She ran over to the hall and attimted to go into the hall for help. A invesible force field raised up as she pounded on it. A faint electrical shock went through her hand as she put a hand on it. She ran back to Kurama.  
  
"There seems to be a force field. Naruku's doing no doubt. Hold on Kurama!"said Kikyou. Kurama turned his head to the side and closed his eyes as she took off her dress to use it a a pillow for his head. He looked back at her when he remimbered the black short body suit she wore underneath. She layed the dress underneath his head and turned to the door to find another force field and another one was on the window.  
  
"Damn. This is bad. Kurama ar-"started Kikyou. She was cut off her sentence when she saw that Kurama hair was changeing white. Kurma screamed out in pain as Kikyou slowly back up untill she was backed up into the wall besides the door. She watched as a pair of fox ears appeared on his head and his once green eyes changed to a golden color. His fingernails grew into claws as he diged them into his arms.  
  
"K...Kurama..."Kikyou half wispered as she backed futher into the wall. The situation was turning from bad to worse. Kurama stood up and looked at her. He walked slowly closer to he with a ugly grin on his face.  
  
"Kurama's not here at the moment. Take a message."  
  
From a clif over looking the shrine a demon smiled. He ran a hand over the now fully evil Shikon jewel. "Lets see how she fairs agianst fighting someone she cares about."said Naruku. He smiled and the light from the moon reflected off his teeth by he laughed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The situation's gone from bad to worse it seems for Kikyou. Well your going to have to wait to see what happens to Kikyou when she has to fight agianst Kurama's demon side that is controled by Naruku. So if you want the next chapter then review. 


	7. Chapter 7

Okay I'm finally updateing this. It hasn't been to long since I have, but I'm updateing everything as much as I can since I'll be busy in the month of April and May. So if updates come slow, don't blame me. Well in this one I'll try to write the action scenes, but I can't write those to save my life, but I'll try. And I know I should have said this earlier, but to all those that did review my story, thank you for your reviews, and don't worry the storys not over yet you have at least 5 or 8 more chapters maybe even more.  
  
Disclamer: If I owned them this would be a anime movie or a show or even a manga. But I don't, so all you'll get is this. Enjoy!  
  
My Will ch.7  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
'Its not like I don't deserve this. Its just that I didn't think it would happen agian...'  
  
(This takes place back thousands of years ago when Naruku was thought to be killed and the jewel was complete.)  
  
A circle was formed over Naruku's dead body. Kagome steped forward and picked up the now complete Shikon no tama, as the others waited to see what she would do with it. Instead of makeing a wish she put the jewel around her neck.   
  
"I...Its finally over..."said Inuyasha. He looked toward Kagome then to Kikyou who was standing on his right. She looked up as he looked down at her and smiled, Kikyou for once smiled. She was glad just to share his joy. The past had now been erased and they could look to the future, no matter what it held.  
  
"Kikyou, its over! For once its over! I...I want to keep my promise to you,but..."started Inuyasha. His smile slowly faded and Kikyou turned her smile into a small one. She had wanted to tell him that she didn't want to go to hell anymore, with Naruku dead and her copy returning to her world they could live their life togather. Now that she was in the form that she was in she could live forever with him. She had planed to tell him after she knew what he felt for her by his descison to go to hell with her.  
  
"I can't."said Inuyasha by looking away from her and at Kagome. Kikyou's smile slowly faded, she looked around her to the others around her. Everyone, even the mighty Sesshoumaru hung their heads, it was as if they knew something she didn't.   
  
Inuyasha steped up to her and put his hands on her shoulders and said. "But I don't want you to suffer, I want you to find peace. Thats why I want to finish what I started. Kikyou...you have to die." Kikyou looked up at him with a shocked expression, he had said it so softly that she didn't know if he had said it at all. As her brown eyes met his golden ones, she knew he had ment every word.  
  
Kikyou didn't move away or cry out, incept in shock and pain, when his claws plunged neatly into her artificial flesh. Her blood made a crimson stain as it poured out of her heart. She pitched forward with his hand still inside her and looked around.  
  
Sesshoumaru had his back to her as he tried to shield Rin from the site, even thought that didn't stop her from crying out for Kikyou. Sesshoumaru picked her up and she for once hit him. She tried with all her might to break away from him, she even pulled his hair. But in the end Sesshoumaru left, but no before giveing Inuyasha a cold look and silently saying good by to her. Kikyou hadn't know him for long, but she had traveled with him.   
  
Sango and Miruku along with Shippo seemed happy that she was dieing. To them Kikyou was just a nuisance, one that they didn't need. Now that they had the perfect, beautiful, loveable Kagome she was no longer needed. They didn't even know her, and if they had maybe they wouldn't seem so happy. Or maybe they would still be the basterds that they were now. But you couldn't blam them for sideing with Kagome, that girl could make the emperor feel sorry for her, with her lies, looks, and charm.  
  
Kouga left, after he found out he couldn't have Kagome. Kikyou didn't know him, but she felt sorry for him. The demon would promblemly never find love, he was looking in all the wrong places. He promblemly had a good fateful girl right under his nose and he wouldn't even know it.  
  
Kikyou closed her eyes as her vison got to cloudy and she started to choke on her own blood. Inuyasha took his claws out of her and she fell to the dirt floor of the forest. Kikyou closed her hand around the dirt mixed with her blood. 'Even if I live only as a fragment of myself, even if I can never be heard or seen by human or demon eyes, even if I live a life of lonelyness, let me live. I want to see the world with that jewel and my murderer in it. I want to see the day when I live and feel agian. Even if its only for a moment...'  
  
~  
  
The pain woke Kikyou out of her memories. How long had she been dogeing attacks, trying to find a way out of the room, and getting cut up. A hour, 15 minutes, or maybe it had only been a minute. One could never tell when it happens, it just happens. It could be avoided if she had brought her bow and arrows with her into the room, but at the time she didn't know that this was going to happen. She could try to control his body as she did with Inuyasha, but she had tried, it hadn't worked he was to strong.  
  
And even if is had worked, what then? She could hurt him, but she knew she couldn't.   
  
Faintly she could hear the others finally awake and try to get through the force field, but what could they do?  
  
"We've got to do something!!"said Yusuku. But do what? They had tried breaking the force field, it had just resulted in them electrocuting themselfs. But Kikyou couldn't last much longer! Even with Kurama only useing his claws, she could hold up for much longer.  
  
Botan paced the short space of the hall as she bit her nails. She didn't want Kikyou to get hurt. The woman maybe cold sometimes, and ruthless, along with emontionless, but she was also kind, sad, and just lost. She didn't want to see her get hurt but she didn't want to see Kurama dead either.  
  
'Its obvious that Kurama cares about her! He won't kill her, well he wouldn't kill her but Naruku would. How can we possiblely help when we can't even get to them!' thought Botan to herself.  
  
"Well I think this is actually pretty good. For once Kurama showing his ture self."said Hiei. Kuwabara steped up to him and grabed him by the shirt.  
  
"What do you mean "this is actually pretty good"? Kikyou's dieing out there! She can't even fight back!"Kuwabara yelled into his face.  
  
"I ment, that its good that he's showing his true power, not that he's killing Kikyou. Plus its not that she can't fight back, she could actually try blinding him or use her power to throw a energy blast at him. Its that she won't fight back. And even if she can't fight back, what are we to do about it?"Hiei griped his wrist untill he let go and he landed on his feet and turned to watch the battle.  
  
"Well I hope she dies!" Everyone turned toward the voice to find that it was Shippo's. He looked up at them with a angery look. "Its all her fault, she could have killed Naruku earlier and she always bothered Kagome!"  
  
"Thats not a reason!"Said Inuyasha. He appeared behind Shippo and looked down angery at him. "I could have stopped him too, but I didn't know at the time. How could we have? We can't predict the future, no one can! No one was to blame, not even the jewel itself. If anyones to blame its me! I'm the one that killed Kikyou!" Everyone (Insept Hiei) looked shocked at what he said.  
  
"I killed her! I wanted her to finally be at peace,"Inuyasha brought up his hand out in front of his face. In his mind they were still stained with her blood."so with these hands I took the desison from her and killed her. Everyday for the rest of my life I've hated myself for it! Who am I to decied who lives and who dies? I'm not god, I should have know that and let her live! I didn't love her like she wanted me to but I still could have let her live her the life that she always wanted!"  
  
Inuyasha steped toward the shield as the others moved away from it. "I made the mistake of killing her, and I won't make it agian by just sitting here and doing nothing! Kikyou I won't let you die!!" Inuyasha charged toward the shield before Botan or the others could tell him that it would electrocute him just by chargeing it. Botan leaned over his limp burnt up and twitching form.  
  
"I was going to say that you can't charge at it, but I guess you found out that for yourself."  
  
~  
  
"I can't sit here forever and watch this!!"said Kurama by standing up. Currantly he was traped at the back of his mind, behind bars and in a cell that resombled prison.  
  
"And what do you propose to do?"said Youko Kurama (I couldn't call Kurama's demon side, Kurama's demon side so this will have to do. Plus I got the name off a computer wallpaper, so I don't know if that is Kurama's demon sides real name.)  
  
Kurama looked to him to see that he was leaning agianst a wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Your not even in control, your promblemly not even really here. Its just your minds way of telling you that your traped. Face the facts, your going to kill Kikyou and theres nothing you are I can do."  
  
His words hit him like a blow to the chest and Kurama sat down agian. He put a hand through his red hair and sighed. A numbing pain went through his head as Naruku put more power into controling him.  
  
"Its no fun if your not the one doing it to your presious Kikyou."said Naruku. His voice bonced off the walls in the cell. Kurama saw everything fade away into a red haze as Naruku took full control over his body. (Basicly, Kurama's now is sort of like in control of his body but not in control of his body. Ah, I just confused myself!)  
  
Kikyou gasped as she was slamed into a wall. She slid down to the floor and didn't stand up as Kurama or what was left of him stood back to adserve his work. He had stabed her in both of her sholders, her stomach, and her legs. Kikyou could barely bring her head up to look at him and didn't even try.  
  
"Its no fun if you don't scream." Kikyou could barely get the time to stand up as he picked her up by the neck and slamed her into the wall agian. The surronding walls and floor had dents the size of metors in them from repeatly being kicked, punched, or slamed into them. Kurama tighted his grip on het neck and Kikyou didn't even try to breath. If she was going to die she wanted him to just end it already.   
  
"Your not screaming, well not yet anyway."he said. So thats what it was all about, screaming. If that was so, she won't give Naruku the satifaction. He could totuer her all he liked, she won't scream.   
  
Kurama stabed her in her stomach and twisted his claws around her insides. Kikyou couldn't stop herself from makeing a small scream.  
  
"Finally. I wonder if I could make you scream without the pain." Kikyou knew the hidden message in his words. It was something only that half or once half demon Naruku would say. Any doubt in her mind that he was controled by him vanished. Not like she didn't know before, but it was hard to tell if you had been killed by someone you cared about before.  
  
Kurama throw her into the wall next to the only window in the room and Kikyou agianst it with a sicking thud. She stood up as he came to stand in front of her. Kikyou's eyes widend as she relised that in some ways this was just like her dream. She had been warned about this before hand, she just hadn't listened. Not that it would have made a diffrence.  
  
Kurama plunged his claws into her arms untill he reached the bones, then he twisted his hands so his claws would scrap agianst them.(Ouch poor Kikyou, that must be so painfull.) Next he stabed her legs doing to her the samething he had done with her arms. Then he took his hands out of her and licked them.  
  
"Your blood acutually tastes pretty sweet. I thought for sure it would taste sour." He licked his hands clean like a child with candy while Kikyou looked up at him with discuse.  
  
"Your sick."she spit out at him. He smiled and looked down at her.  
  
"And your a bitch, I've heard it all before. I guess its pretty shocking to see a demon get off on blood and here I thought you were a priestess that had seen everything."  
  
"No I was talking about how you, Naruku, try to pass off as Kurama. Even in his demon form he won't hurt me, he told me along time ago that we were friends, and thats something you can't copy. You may have his mind and his body, but you can't have his heart."Kikyou said as he frowned.  
  
"Heart? What do you know about hearts, when you don't even have one? How do you know what Kurama really thinks of you? Or what he desires? How do you know that this isn't the true him? You can take the form of a human Kikyou, but you can't still have a heart. You can't have what you never had." Kurama took her by the shoulders and slamed her agianst the wall, Kikyou brought her hands slowly up to rest on his face.   
  
'I don't know if this will work, or even if you can still hear me, but I do hope that you can remember...'  
  
(Three lines of lyrics then whats happening while shes singing. This plays to the tune of "My Will".)  
  
"Quitely awaking...  
  
My world has no meaning  
  
But my ways not easy to go"  
  
Kikyou could barely hear herself or make her mouth form the words. The lyrics came out choked out, because she barely had the strength to sing. But it was the only thing that might work. And from the shocked cofident look on his face, it had better work fast. Unlike in the disney movies, doing this wasn't going to work because she cared about him, it was going to work because it would spark a memory. Because it was their secret song.  
  
"Years...  
  
Thousands of years in exsitence  
  
When I see love I have to take my time"  
  
Kurama shaked his head. What could she possiblemly be doing? It was a waste of time, and yet somehow it felt like he had heard it before...  
  
(flashbacks will be surronded by *these*)  
  
*"That song you heard me singing...Lets keep it between you and me. It will be out secret song. Okay?"*   
  
Kurama's eyes flashed to a shade of green then back to gold as he shook his head. He growled and pushed her agian up agianst the wall.   
  
'Its working. But of course it should, nothing is stronger then memory.'thought Kikyou to herself.  
  
"Spent my days alone  
  
Being by myself   
  
Without you..."  
  
"What!?"said Naruku to himself as he heard a cracking sound. He looked down to the jewel to see that on the surface it had a crack in it. It glowed a bright flashing lavander and started to shake. Naruku let go of the jewel and it floated in front of him.  
  
"She truely is the true "Priestess of the Shikon no tama". Maybe stronger then myself..."said a voice from within the jewel.  
  
"That...voice...it can't be your dead! And how can she be the true owner of this jewel, she doesn't even have the strength to fight back. She can only hope to make him remember, which we both know is pointless, its like trying to fly, you can't do it without wings. And hers are broken."  
  
"But I have...  
  
My will to be strong without you"  
  
*"Don't talk okay. I'm...I'm sorryabout crying but I hate to be alone."  
  
"Its okay I hate to be alone too. But were friends now okay. You won't really be alone when you have a friend. I'll come back and vist you okay. So don't cry."*  
  
Kurama's hair and eyes turned halfway back into red and green, while Kikyou keep on singing.  
  
'Its working, he's remembering. He's fighting the spell.'  
  
"I have...  
  
My will to be with you agian"  
  
Kikyou and the jewel glowed a dark lavander as Kikyou tried to bring Kurama back. As the light disapered Kurama came out of Naruku's spell.   
  
"What, she did it?" Naruku looked down at the jewel in his hand and then at what he see of Kikyou and Kurama."Inpossiable, unless she is the true "Priestess of the Shikon no tama.""  
  
Kurama fell agianst her as they both slid down agianst the wall. The shield around the house broke and the others came to their aid.  
  
"Believe...  
  
Believe...  
  
Believe..."  
  
'Even if I don't live to see tomarrow, if my humanity was only for a moment, I'll die knowing that you didn't really leave me. I was never alone...I...had you.'thought Kikyou to herself as her world faded into darkness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I could continue but its getting late and I still have to read it again for spelling errors. That was really mushy, like bad disney movie mushy. Speaking of disney, I hope no one gets on my case about the singing to get someone back thing. I just think that thats stupid. Its in almost every animated movie, video game, anime, manga, and other things too. Would that ever work in real life? No. But it could work if you were trying to make someone remember something like Kikyou was trying to do. But I don't see why I say that, I put things like that in my stories too.  
  
Oh well. Well read and review, and don't worry Kikyou's not dead. So review. 


	8. Chapter 8

Ta da! I'm back! And with another update! Sorry about that everyone, I was updateing "Kingdom Hearts: Soul Taker", redoing "Darkness" so now you have a new and improved chapter 1, and it was my birthday and the first start of summer so I took a little break from writeing. That and I couldn't get on the computer for awhile and when I did the internet wasn't working or I was goofing off and didn't write at all. And I had to get all my data that was lost again when my computer crashed. So poor me... :( Good news is that I'm back and updateing all my stories and I have a great oneshot up too, my first one too, its called "Of light and Darkness". If you like Kingdom Hearts: Soul Taker and don't mind that its kind of confuseing, then I suggest you read it. You won't be disappointed. -  
  
Also thanks goes out to the first one ever to review this story and the first one to review (since I hadn't got a review on any of my other stories tell then. So its really is my first review.) on Mediaminer.org. I would say the name but my internets not working and I haven't drank water all day so I have a bad memory. But anyways, thank you very much and I'll make sure to read your work too. And this nice person changed my out look on people on that site. Before then I thought most people on that site were assholes, but I won't mention any names...  
  
'thoughts'  
  
"Words"  
  
(SE) this means sound effects  
  
As always some thoughts won't be surrounded by 'these' and neither will flashbacks be surrounded by anything. Since you can not use that little star sign over the 8 on your keyboard on Fanfiction.net.   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own them! If I did I would be rich and Kikyou and Sesshoumaru would be a official couple in the show. And I would kick Toonami on Cartoon network in the ass and make them not cut out anything from Yu Yu Hakasho. Because they are seriously pissing me off with that kid friendly crap. It should have stayed on Adult Swim but those damn Toonami people bought it off them. Damn them!  
  
My Will ch.8  
  
"We need to get her in ER immeditly! Does anyone know what blood type she is!?"rang out a unfamiler voice. It filtered down the brightly lit hallway like a echo, distant yet there. Past the smell of blood, death, and life, was a faint scent of cleaning products.  
  
"Doctor, I beileve she's O postive."rang out another unfamiler voice, this time female. The sound of squeaky wheels and polished shoes tapping harshly on the freshly polished white tile floor rang out the loudest. And with each tap came a different time, a different place, different feelings and emotions.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
A young 5 or 4 year old Kikyou ran through a field of flowers trying to chase a common yellow butterfly. Upon catching it she turned around to smile at her mother to see that she was no where in sight.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
Through the darkness of the night a sound of a young girl next to her crying made a 6 or 7 year old Kikyou stop running and look back at her younger sister. Angry she slaped her lightly across the face.  
  
"Stop crying! Shes gone, shes dead, moms dead and she left us alone just like father!"she yelled harshly at her and the night.  
  
Whiping her tears away. Her younger sister yelled back. "Your lieing! Moms not dead and we never had a father, mom said so! She said we were a gift! Let me go, I want to go back!"  
  
Before Kikyou could stop her she turned around and started to cry at the sight of the village burning. Kikyou stayed silent and hugged her sister to her as she watched the place where she had been born and raised go up in flames. All because of her and her powers. Its all her fault...  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"Docter I think were loseing her!"  
  
tap(SE)  
  
Her arrow hit its target just like she knew it would. She was starting to become the best at being what she was, a priestess. Turning around to bow at her trainer she looked past her and at the village which her and her younger sister had escaped to. All she could now offer was the villagers protection in exchange for living here.  
  
'The more I get better the more I lose myself in the sake of protecting those I care about. When will it ever end. I curse myself for my fate...'  
  
tap(SE)  
  
Wheeling into the operateing room they the people around her tried to repair her. Faintly the sound of a heartbeat and those around her mixed with her reality.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"I accept this jewel, with the knowlege of giveing up my emotions."she said by looking down at the lavander jewel in her hands.  
  
"Why did you betray me Inuyasha!" The arrow hit its mark and she fell to the ground as she felt her life leaveing her.   
  
'I'll die to be with you...'  
  
"I can't."said Inuyasha by looking away from her and at Kagome.  
  
Inuyasha steped up to her and put his hands on her shoulders and said. "But I don't want you to suffer, I want you to find peace. Thats why I want to finish what I started. Kikyou...you have to die." Kikyou looked up at him with a shocked expression, he had said it so softly that she didn't know if he had said it at all. As her brown eyes met his golden ones, she knew he had ment every word.  
  
Kikyou didn't move away or cry out, incept in shock and pain, when his claws plunged neatly into her artificial flesh. Her blood made a crimson stain as it poured out of her heart. She pitched forward with his hand still inside her.  
  
'Even if I live only as a fragment of myself, even if I can never be heard or seen by human or demon eyes, even if I live a life of loneliness, let me live. I want to see the world with that jewel and my murderer in it. I want to see the day when I live and feel agian. Even if its only for a moment...'  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"Theres so much blood. My god what happened to her?"asked one voice to the other.  
  
"Lets just pray she makes it..."  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"Kikyou..."  
  
"Don't talk okay. I'm...I'm sorry about crying but I hate to be alone."  
  
"It's okay I hate to be alone too. But were friends now okay. You won't really be alone when you have a friend. I'll come back and vist you okay. So don't cry." Kurama hugged Kikyou back and then they let go of each other.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"Kikyou-"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it!"She stood up and looked down at him. Angry brown eyes met clam green ones, as they both stared at each other.   
  
Kikyou bowed her head so shadows would crossover her face. So he couldn't see what see was feeling inside.  
  
"If...you have to leave...I wish you would just leave! Your presence still haunts me too. Maybe there are things that time can erase..."  
  
"Kikyou...I know things are a little...confuseing..."  
  
"Confuseing? How can you possiblely know what I'm feeling? You have kept your life, while I have lost mine. So don't tell me what the hell is confuseing!"  
  
"Kikyou...Why do you hold such anger toward me? Is it about what happened back in the woods so long ago?"  
  
"Kurama...Its...not that..."  
  
Kurama stepped up to her and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and pulled her into a embrace. Kikyou strugled to get away from him, but since he wasn't about to let go she gave up. She relaxed into the embrace but didn't put her arms around him like he did with her.  
  
"Its not weakness to give into the pain of the moment."said Kurama.   
  
"I don't care. I don't want to feel anymore, its too hard. I can't..."  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"That other persons like this too, incept he didn't have a injury on him. But he's also in a coma."said a voice  
  
"You mean that man with red hair?"  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"That song you heard me singing...Lets keep it between you and me. It will be like our secret song. Okay?"  
  
"Yes I understand. It wil be our secret song, I won't tell anyone."  
  
"Thanks."said Kikyou. She kissed him on the cheak and started walking back to camp. She looked over her shoulder to see that Kurama was still standing there, then she looked in frount of her and dissapered from view.  
  
Kurama stood there for a moment, then he looked up at the moon."Maybe it was just the pain of the moment..."  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"You have to wonder if he did this to her. His blood was found all over her..."said another voice.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
She looked down at herself. She was wearing the modern clothing that she had got at the mall. The boots had blood stains on it. Her blood stains.  
  
She steped feather into the room and looked around. She heard a step behind her and turned around. The way that she had come into the room disappered. Alarmed by this she took a step back.  
  
Arms wrapped themselfs around her shoulders.  
  
"What do you fear the most?"said a familer voice into her ear.  
  
Kikyou felt like she was about to cry for the first time in her life. The voice sounded so familer yet so evil. Who was it? Kikyou wimpered and didn't answer.  
  
"What do you fear the most?"it said agian. This time it sounded more demanding. And more evil.  
  
Kikyou couldn't help but answer. She said the first thing that came to her mind. "Love."  
  
"Why? Is it because of the past? The betrales, the failures, the pinning for someone who will never love you? Or is the feeling of being used and then thrown away? Like yesterdays trash."  
  
Tears ran down Kikyou's face. There was no escape from the voice. It was like it could see right into her soul. But worser still was that it was someone she knew...  
  
"Shuss...Now don't cry,"the person relised her and came around to stand in front of her with their hands still on her shoulders."I'll always be there for you. Kikyou." That flash of red hair, it was like blood in the dark and the way he said "Kikyou". Like he owned her like she was just another possision that he could easily do without. Kikyou sivered and put her arms around her waist and lowered her head.  
  
A clawed fingure went under her chin and force herself to meet his green eyed gaze. He steped closer to her and put his face closer to hers. Too close.  
  
"Do you stil believe that love can come to us? Did you wait all these years for someone who would hurt you more then Inuyasha did. You know betrale is such a bitch."said Kurama. He smiled a very evil smile. Like his lips didn't move upward they slithered upward.   
  
Kikyou stared into the eyes of her friend, her lover, her death. Green eyes met brown for one last stare. Kikyou could see nothing of the old Kurama in him, nothing of the little lost boy that she had fell in love with or the half demon half man that she had waited centuries for.  
  
His hands let themselfs explore her and Kikyou didn't stop him. After all what was the use, he always got what he wanted. His lips touched hers in a barely there kiss and then he deeped it. He pulled away and put one hand on her cheak. Only a thin trail of slaiva and their bodies connected to each other connected them. He whispered something to her.  
  
"You were always blind Kikyou, you just didn't know how blind. You can't teach a old fox new tricks." Then she felt the familer pain of a clawed hand through her heart as her blood spilled everywhere. He was right. Betrale is a bitch...  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"I don't know. I've seen him in here before, when it was about his mother. He seemed so kind hearted then, and both of there friends say that they were in a accident..."a voice says.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"You know this is kind of like back then, when I was lost in the woods with you."said Kurama. He turned his head and looked straight at her. Kikyou didn't turn away, she looked back at him.  
  
"Yes it is."replyed Kikyou.  
  
"Kikyou...Are you afraid of me?"asked Kurama.  
  
"What!?" Kikyou took a step back and placed a hand to her heart. His question reminded her of a simular one in her dream.  
  
"I said, are you afraid of me?"replyed Kurama. He took a step toward her and she took a step back.  
  
"You are aren't you? I can see it in your eyes..."said Kurama. He looked down at the ground.   
  
"Kurama...,"said Kikyou. She was reminded of the day she had first met him and how he was afraid of her. Kikyou stepped closer to him, dispite her innerselfs protests."I could never be afraid of you. Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too." She put a pale hand under his chin and brought his head up to look at her. She let her hand rest over his left cheek. He startled her a bit when he put his hand over her hand. He closed his eyes as he rubbed her hand across his cheek.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"Yeah but seasons change, people change."said another voice.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"Is it always this noisey in your group."asked Kikyou. She was still smileing.  
  
"Sometimes, which is most of the time."replyed Kurama. He watched her face as she laughed. Her emotions changed constently. From anger and sadness to happiness. And from being afraid to being melencoly. He still hadn't forgotten about yesterday.  
  
'Was she really afraid of me. Would I really hurt her'thought Kurama.  
  
"Kurama are you alright?"asked Kikyou. Kurama smiled so that she wouldn't worry.  
  
"Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too."said Kurama with a smile.  
  
"Your useing my own saying agianst me! And I don't believe you Kurama, you forget I was once your babysiter."said Kikyou. She laughed when he blushed a deep red and looked away.  
  
"You weren't my babysiter. You just took care of me."  
  
"Samething really."said Kikyou.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
Kikyou turned her back on him and walked over to Kurama.  
  
"I didn't do it for you, I just didn't want him to get the wrong idea about us." she smiled evily at him and Kurama wondered if this was a side of Kikyou that she had been hideing. If so it was defently a side he didn't like...  
  
Kikyou stood outside in the cold night air. After the events of today, she didn't want to go inside and face Inuyasha. She didn't want to face Kurama either. He seemed not to like the side of her he saw today, and that bothered her. It was like he only liked one side of her and nothing else. Why? Was it because he didn't like her, just her good side? Now she was mad.  
  
"Are you comeing back inside Kikyou?" asked Kurama. He stood in back of her with his hands across his chest.  
  
"No. Now leave me alone."  
  
Kurama raised a eyebrow but said nothing. Kikyou sighed and started walking toward the direction of Kagome's well.   
  
She stoped when she was about to step into the woods and turned around. "Are you still following me!? Would you go away, your not a little lost boy in the woods anymore, so stop following me!!"yelled Kikyou. She was about to turn around when Kurama grabbed her arm and yelled at her: "Your right I'm not, but I still think that your more lost then me!"  
  
"What, I am not lost! I know where I am!!"yelled back Kikyou. She tried to get him to let go but he wouldn't so she turned around.  
  
"No, you don't. I could sense it even back then, when it wasn't as strong. Your still trying to hide and pretend you don't have feelings. And even now your trying to hide from me and yourself!"  
  
"What do you care? You only like one side of me, did it hurt you when you found out I'm not the good little priestess you took me for?"  
  
"No,"said Kurama,"It didn't hurt. I couldn't like any side of you."  
  
"So its true. You feel nothing for me..."said Kikyou. She bowed her head and let her bangs get in the way of her eyes as a cold wind blew.  
  
"Thats not true. I couldn't like any side of you because I like you for who you are. Kikyou, there is not just one side of you. And to like just one side of you I would miss out on the others..." said Kurama.  
  
"...."Kikyou kept silence.  
  
"Just like I'm sure you don't just like me when I was the boy I was back then. Or do you?"  
  
Kikyou turned around and embraced him. Just like she did those many years ago when they met long ago.   
  
"No, I don't. Because who you are now and who you are then are one and the same."said Kikyou. She pulled away and looked into his dark green eyes.  
  
tap(SE)  
  
Kikyou stoped and leaned agianst the open window frame and looked out at the night sky. The moon was a quarter moon and the stars could clearly be seen above the trees. She didn't move when someone joined her.  
  
"Kurama, what are you doing up this late at night?"asked Kikyou.  
  
"And what are you doing?"replyed Kurama.  
  
"Watching the stars." said Kikyou. An uneasy silence past between them as they remembered what they had said to each other hours before.  
  
"You always gazed at the stars, I still can't see why you do." said Kurama.  
  
"You still can't? Neither can I. Maybe I'm looking for something."  
  
"Like What?"asked Kurama.  
  
"A North Star that never appears. I keep searching for a home, a understanding that I can't seem to find."said Kikyou. She put her head on top of her folded hands that rested on the window seal and leaned agianst the wall.  
  
"You don't need to continue searching Kikyou. When this is all over I-"Kurama was interrupted by a searing pain through out his whole body. He let one hand grip the window seal by he sank to the floor. Kikyou put her hands onto his shoulders and droped down to the floor besides him.  
  
"Kurama! Are you all right!?"said Kikyou.  
  
"I'm not sure, I think-"he stoped talking and hissed at the pain. Kikyou looked around hopeing that someone else was in the room so that they could help her. No one else was there. Kikyou cursed under her breath and layed Kurama on the floor. She ran over to the hall and attimted to go into the hall for help. A invesible force field raised up as she came near it. A faint electrical shock went through her hand as she put a hand on it. She ran back to Kurama.  
  
"There seems to be a force field. Naruku's doing no doubt. Hold on Kurama!"said Kikyou. Kurama turned his head to the side and closed his eyes as she took off her dress to use it a a pillow for his head. He looked back at her when he remembered the black short body suit she wore underneath. She layed the dress underneath his head and turned to the door to find another force field and another one was on the window.  
  
"Damn. This is bad. Kurama ar-"started Kikyou. She was cut off her sentence when she saw that Kurama hair was changeing white. Kurama screamed out in pain as Kikyou slowly back up untill she was backed up into the wall besides the door. She watched as a pair of fox ears appeared on his head and his once green eyes changed to a golden color. His fingernails grew into claws as he diged them into his arms.  
  
"K...Kurama..."Kikyou half wispered as she backed futher into the wall. The situation was turning from bad to worse. Kurama stood up and looked at her. He walked slowly closer to he with a ugly grin on his face.  
  
"Kurama's not here at the moment. Take a message."  
  
tap(SE)  
  
"Yeah but somethings always stay the same. Like death, love, and taxes."  
  
tap(SE)  
  
Kikyou gasped as she was slamed into a wall. She slid down to the floor and didn't stand up as Kurama or what was left of him stood back to adserve his work. He had stabed her in both of her sholders, her stomach, and her legs. Kikyou could barely bring her head up to look at him and didn't even try.  
  
"Its no fun if you don't scream." Kikyou could barely get the time to stand up as he picked her up by the neck and slamed her into the wall agian. The surronding walls and floor had dents the size of metors in them from repeatly being kicked, punched, or slamed into them. Kurama tighted his grip on her neck and Kikyou didn't even try to breath. If she was going to die she wanted him to just end it already.   
  
"Your not screaming, well not yet anyway."he said. So thats what it was all about, screaming. If that was so, she won't give Naruku the satifaction. He could totuer her all he liked, she won't scream.   
  
Kurama stabed her in her stomach and twisted his claws around her insides. Kikyou couldn't stop herself from makeing a small scream.  
  
"Finally. I wonder if I could make you scream without the pain." Kikyou knew the hidden message in his words. It was something only that half or once half demon Naruku would say. Any doubt in her mind that he was controled by him vanished. Not like she didn't know before, but it was hard to tell if you had been killed by someone you cared about before.  
  
'Even if I don't live to see tomarrow, if my humanity was only for a moment, I'll die knowing that you didn't really leave me. I was never alone...I...had you.'  
  
tap(SE)  
  
With one final tap the voices finally left her alone and the memorys stoped. Kikyou opened her eyes and was met with the darkness of her soul. Closeing them again she thought she heard footsteps. She opened her eyes to see the image of another priestess in front of her. She was about to ask her who she was when she spoke for her.  
  
"You are correct. I am the priestess that made the Shikon no tama, Midoriko."she said. Kikyou stood up and looked at her.   
  
"If you are her, then what do you want with me?"asked Kikyou. Midoriko didn't respond but took out a gold coin.  
  
"Do you know what this is?"she asked as she took her hand and placed it into her open palm. "Its the coin of your soul, the same one used to build your human form."  
  
Kikyou looked down at the coin. Instead of seeing Kagome on and her on the other, she saw just herself. Her form holding her bow and arrows on one side and on the other side her with her shinidmchuu around her.   
  
"This coin...its different..."Kikyou said by looking at both sides. Midoriko knodded.  
  
"Thats because now you have surpassed Kagome. In a way you could say that both of you releyed on the other, never changeing or suppaseing the other, not even in death. But now you found what she didn't...or more likely you were the true priestess. You were the only one who could handle the jewel, your will to give up everything, even your emotions or happiness not just for yourself or the world but for people you truely care about. Back then it was your sister, now its for the one that you love."said Midoriko.  
  
Love? Kikyou could have chocked on the word but was silent and griped the coin in her hand. Upon looking opening her hand she found it had disappeared.  
  
"You are the true Priestess of the Shikon no tama. Not Kagome, thats why she died. She couldn't handle the power...But you could. it showed when you were able to break the jewels spell and call upon its power to rescue the fox demon from himself."  
  
Kikyou glared at her. "His names not "the fox demon" its Kurama. And what are you getting at?"  
  
Midoriko smiled and said. "That if you accept the task of destorying the Shikon no tama and Naraku and putting the 4 souls in it to rest, that you will be healed and won't die and neither will Kurama. You see, I have both of your lives in my hands.," she put a hand in front of Kikyou with the coin of her soul resting in the middle of the palm."All you have to do is accept."  
  
Kikyou smiled and reached out a hand. As she was about to grab the coin Midoriko said. "Remember, it was your choice."  
  
"It was always my choice...It was just a matter of when to make it."  
  
Kikyou gasped as she sat up in bed. Looking down at her hands she watched as they slowly stopped glowing lavander. She jumped out of the hospital bed and put her old clothes on. Seeing how they were clean and repaired she silently thank the person who had fixed them and ran out of the room.  
  
A nurse that she was passing almost dropped her papers as she yelled at her. "Hey what the-you can't leave yet!"   
  
Kikyou ignored her as she ran up to the front office desk, and before the nurses eyes in front of her, started looking at the patients list. Seeing that Kurama was in room 342 she dodged a security officer and made it to a elevatior. Pressing the button for the 3 floor she waited untill the doors opened. Dodgeing another secritey officer she half ran, half sild down the hallway untill she found the room that she was looking for. Upon entering a nurse walked toward her to usher her out the door, but Kikyou got behind her and pushed her out the door. After locking the door she walked toward the window to catch her breath and look out at the full moon.  
  
By not looking at the form in the bed next to her, she took a chair from by the window and sat next to him.  
  
Looking down at her hands for a moment she wondered what to say. Too many words so little time...  
  
"Hi..."it was pathtic but she said it anyway. What else was she suppost to say? "Kurama...you were right. Things are alittle...confuseing...memorys die fast...I should have know you wouldn't forget. I-" Kikyou stopped in midsentence when she didn't hear him saying anything. Looking up from her hands she saw that he was still asleep.   
  
'That damn priestess lied to me! Just to get me to do her dirty work...that bitch...'thought Kikyou to herself as she leaned over Kurama. He didn't look hurt, it was almost as if he was sleeping, but he was too still for her likeing...  
  
Seeing a drop of something wet on his face she lifted a hand to her own to see that she was slowly crying. By still half sitting she embraced his still form, hugging him tighter to her by she closed her eyes. A sharp in take of breath startled her so she jumped up and sat back into her chair.   
  
'What...your still...alive?'  
  
Kikyou listened more carefully and his breathing returned to the normal sleeping rate. Kikyou smiled through her tears and wiped them off her face and off his too.  
  
"Of course your still alive, it takes more then me or Naraku combined to kill you. I should have know that. Somehow you always make me cry..."said Kikyou out loud to the silence of the small room by remembering that distant day. Looking around she could see flowers and cards on the tables and desks around him. Picking up one a picture fell out. Picking up from the floor she silently looked at it.  
  
"So this is the woman that I saw in forest, you said she was your mother...you have her eyes..." (Okay, don't correct me on that. Its been along time since I've had the time to watch Yu Yu Hakasho, so I don't remember his mother's eye color.)   
  
Kikyou put the picture and the card back when Kurama sighed in his sleep. Giveing out a half smile she reached out a hand and combed his red hair through her fingers.  
  
"I still remember that day long ago...when we shared our secrets even though we were total strangers, both of us were lost in the woods of our own emotions and soul. Yet even though you never forgot your promise I never forgot you...Back then, when we met, it was all awkward. We went the long way, didn't we?"said Kikyou as she closed her eyes. Remembering a song that she shared with Inuyasha long ago before there destinys went separate ways she started singing the lyrics. Unlike back then, it came out more sad then happy.  
  
(I'm going to put both english and Japanese. Since I like the Japanese version better, but I have put it in english all this time. So Kikyou's really singing in Japanese but the english lyrics are so that people that don't know Japanese, me included, will know what it means. Oh yeah and the song is "Dearest" from the Inuyasha soundtrack.)  
  
"hontou ni taisetsu na mono igai subete sutete -- It would would be nice if we could put away and throw out  
shimaetara ii no ni ne -- everything except what mattered, but   
genjitsu wa tada zankoku de" -- reality is just cruel.  
  
"Sonna toki itsu datte -- In such times,  
me o tojireba -- I see you laughing  
waratteru kimi ga iru" -- whenever I close my eyes.  
  
"Itsuka eien no nemuri ni tsuku hi made -- Until the day I reach eternal sleep,  
dou ka sono egao ga -- that smileing face will  
taema naku aru you ni" -- have to stay with me without fail.  
  
"Hito wa minna kanashii kara -- People are all so sad, so  
wasurete yuku ikimono dakedo" -- they go and forget, but--  
  
"Aisubeki mono no tame -- For that which I should love,  
ai o kureru mono no tame dekiru koto" -- For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.  
  
"Deatta ano koro wa -- Back then when we met,  
subete ga bukiyou de -- it was all awkward.  
toomawari shita yo ne" -- We went the long way, didn't we?  
kizutsuke atta yo ne -- We got hurt, didn't we?  
  
"Itsuka eien no nemuri ni tsuku hi made -- Untill the day I reach eternal sleep,  
dou ka sono egao ga -- that smileing face will   
taema naku aru you ni" -- have to stay with me without fail.  
  
"Deatta ano koro wa -- Back then when we met,  
subete ga bukiyou de -- it was all awkward.  
toomawari shita yo ne -- We took the long way, didn't we?  
tadoritsuitan da ne" -- We go there in the end.  
  
Finishing the song Kikyou laid and folded her arms on the bed that Kurama was in, that was in front of her. She laid her head on top and closed her eyes.  
  
'Yeah, we did get there in the end...even if we got hurt along the way...'  
  
And thats the end of chapter 8. In chapter 9: Kurama and Kikyou reflect on the events of chapter 7, and Kikyou thinks back on the men in her past along on the ones in her present.   
  
And shes not just going to be thinking about Inuyasha. If anyone looked closely in the begining of chapter 7 you get a hint of who the second man was. Ha ha, I'm makeing you reread that chapter all over again, well if you don't want to do that, go click on my name and vist my profile. Look at the pairings I like and you should know who the mystery man is, or should I say demon. ;)  
  
Well anyway...read and review and I'll get back to you after the beep...don't forget to review after the beep too.  
  
"BEEP!" 


	9. Chapter 9

You probably thought I was never going to update, like I just left and left this story hanging like a bunch of people did...Well HA your wrong! I would never do that to you guys, besides I would be breaking one of my rules and doing something I hate. Since we all hate it when we read a good story and the person that made it doesn't update, but doesn't put that they discontinued it either, and then after a year or so, your still wondering what happened and waiting for a update that will never happen.  
Well have alittle more faith! I update at least two fics every month. I just couldn't get around to updateing this. So I'm very sorry if you had to wait forever, please forgive me and read and review!  
'thoughts'  
"words"  
(SE)  
And some thoughts won't be surrounded by 'these.  
Disclamer: If I owned them, you would defently know. Because I would be shakeing it in your face and braging forever. Luckly for you I don't own them. Oh and before I begin the chapter, thank you everyone that reviewed the last chapter and the ones before this one. Your reviews kept me going!  
  
My Will ch.9

(Oh and one more thing before we begin. My dear friend Lilly (flowersforSesshoumaru on this site.) passed away on July 28. Because of that, I dedicate this chapter too her and other people that have helped me become what I am today. People that have left and gone, and left a permemnt impression on me. Heres to you guys, even though you are no longer in this world. I also dedicate it to the people alive that help me too, like my friends and family. Thanks you guys...without you I would be no where.)  
  
Leaning against the wall, Kikyou took a quick in take of breath. It seemed like even if she was now human, had gotten her life back in a bargin with someone long dead, and seemed to have more power then she did before, but she still couldn't get rid of that damn after effects of running!  
It was like a damn disese! Incept not life threating, and annoying. But then again, weren't all illnesses annoying?  
Sliding against the wall, she slid untill she was in a sitting postion. Trying to regain her breath seemed harder then before. But the question remained, what was she running from? 'It was stupid of me...'she thought to herself.'Why did I run? I should have stayed and did what Botan asked, I should have just gone to see Kurama'  
Kurama had woken up two days ago, and she hadn't gone to see him. Botan had confonted her about it, and she had left. Just ran away from her and the topic, like she had been doing these whole two days up tell now. 'Damnmit!'she thought to herself as her breathing increased. It felt like her lungs were trying to beat themselves to death, or rip out of her chest. She put a hand to her heart as her loose black hair fell into her face. She had lost her ribbon somewhere between Tokyo and the Spirit world. She didn't think that she could run all that way, or get to the Spirit world on foot either. But she had, after all, this was where they had moved Kurama after she woke up. Didn't want the real world to find out about them after all. So now here she was, sitting in the middle of the room assigned to her, breathing like someone was chokeing her, and trying to hid from Botan and everyone else. Or maybe she was hideing from herself.  
'Why does it seem like this is going on longer then before? It certainly didn't last more then a minute before I passed out last time'  
"No."Kikyou said out loud. She shoke her head, she wouldn't think about that time. About the time she had colapsed from this and had woke up in Kurama's arms.  
'Why can't I just forget? Its not important...I don't...care about him...do I?'she thought to herself. That was the question of the century. 'Why do all my thoughts turn to him? Even before I made that deal with Midoriko, and even before that, he was on my mind! Its driveing me mad! Just get out of my head damn you! Don't you just get it self? Can't you just leave me alone? I don't want to feel again, I don't want to feel those emotions again! So stop it'  
Closeing her eyes and leaning her head against the wall she tryed to wait for her heart to beat normally, a voice inturputed her. "Kikyou?"it was Botan. Kikyou opened her eyes and turned her head to look at her. It was supriseing that she could keep up with her, she may have bad lungs, but she could still run fast. Even while wearing those modern garments that she was wearing now. Botan took a step into the room and closer to her. "Are you alright Kikyou?"  
What do you think? Is what she wanted to say, but in between breaths she said. "No, I'm not. But I'll be fine. Just leave me alone for a minute, would you?"  
Botan didn't leave the room, but instead took another step toward her untill there was only a few feet between them. "Kikyou, I just came here to hand you your ribbon, when you first started running, it fell out of your hair. Here." She left it on the floor between them instead of handing it to her. Most likely because she knew Kikyou wasn't in the mood for others to get near her.  
"Thank you. Now would you please leave already?"asked Kikyou as she closed her eyes again. Botan shook her head, and looked back at her. "No. We need to talk, you can't keep avoiding Kurama forever. You could at least see him."she said to Kikyou.  
"No. I don't think we need to talk, and I will keep avoiding him so I can give him time to heal."  
"Time to heal?"asked Botan.  
"Yes...time to...heal..."said Kikyou between breaths. After a minute she continued. "If you almost killed someone that was your friend, controlled or not, how would you feel?"  
Botan looked down at the ground, it was true, he did need time but..."If I almost killed someone that was my friend, I would feel horrible. But if I almost killed someone I love...I would feel worse." After saying that, Botan left Kikyou to herself and the darkness of the room. Sighing then coughing, Kikyou closed her eyes and let the darkness of sleep take her.  
At least there she wouldn't dream, she wouldn't dream about him.  
  
"Why are you here?" said a small voice next to him. Looking down at his side, Kurama could see alittle girl standing three in a old faded childs kimono. Her earth colored brown eyes stared sadly up at him. It reminded him of someone he knew, someone that was crying.  
"Why are you here?" The little girl repeated. A gust of wind blew across the field of Kikyou flowers they were standing in, it also made the faded with age bunny stuffed animal at her side, ears fly in the wind. Its yarn crisscrossed eyes seemed to stare at him also, the little girl put her thumb in her mouth and started chewing on the flesh. Kurama kneeled down to her height and smiled alittle.  
"I don't really know why I'm you help me?" He asked her, it seemed like the question only made the girl sadder. She shaked her head no, her black hair flying around her. She looked at the right of her and Kurama stood up and looked to the right also.  
To the right of them was a tree withered with age. A few flowers on the tree blew in the wind, mixed in with the trees leaves as well. Kurama stared at the sight, in a way this sort of reminded him of something. Looking down at the little girl he could now see that one of her eyes were missing and blood was all over her face.  
"Why do you continue to stay here? What keeps you? Even in life, the dead cannot move on...You cannot change a person with you emotions alone. If you continue to stay here you will be lost also. Nothing good can come from my sister, trust me on this." The little girl said.  
"What do you mean that nothing good can come from this? You know nothing. If I stay here, its on my by own will." With that Kurama turned around and started walking away to the right. "Wait! If you continue with this I'll curse you the same way I did her!" Her voice had turned older it seemed. Kurama turned to look over his shoulder once her reached the tree.  
"Then curse me. See if I care, I'm not going to break a promise. I already broke one already..." Looking in front of him he stared at the tree.  
"And this promise that you broke, this would be?" Said a voice that made Kurama turn around. Looking over his shoulder he saw Kikyou standing there. She was bloody and torn up, but she continued to stand. "Kikyou..." It seemed like that was all he could say. Kikyou put a hand to her heart and winced. Steping forward, towards him, she took her hand off her heart to reveal a gapping hole in it. It looked like someones sharp weapons, or claws, had ripped through it. "Why did you betray me Kurama! You no better then him! Die!" After saying that she took out a bow and arrow, that appreared out of nowhere, and shot the arrow at him.  
  
Sitting up quickly, he gasped. The dream had seemed so real. Putting a hand to his head, he gripped his damp red hair. Sighing he released his hair, from the death grip he had on it, and layed back down. Just to discover that he had fell out of bed and onto the floor. Laughing a bit he tryed to stand up. His first attemp was unsucessful, becasue of the bed sheets that had gotten tangled around his body. On the second attemp, he stood up and tryed to put his bed back together. It seemed like one of the pillows had fallen on the floor and two were somewhere, he just didn't know where exactly. "Great thrid day awake and you trash the guest room."Kurama said to himself. He didn't laugh at his own joke, but set to the task of cleaning up the room. After putting the sheets back on the bed, he set out to find the missing pillows. He saw them behind some red flowers and stepped around the flowers and picked the pillows up. He was about to turn away untill he saw a picture that caught his eye.  
It was the one he took with his mother before he got lost in the woods that day...his eyes turned alittle glassy.(You know, his eyes sort of had a far away look.) And he almost didn't hear the knock at his door. Turning around he saw someone come into the dark room before he could say come in. "Oh its just you Yusuke...you could have waited tell I said come in."  
"Well I knocked didn't I?"  
Shakeing his head Kurama laughed alittle then looked at the wall next to him. Laughing suddenly seemed like such a hard thing to do all of a sudden.  
"So,"said Yusuke.,"wheres your girlfriend, Kikyou?  
Kurama turned his head to look at him so fast, you wondered if he got whiplash from the action. "She is NOT my girlfriend! And is this what you came in to ask me?" Yusuke put two hands up in the air, in a sign of moke surrender, and grinned. "Ouch, you don't have to yell at me for speaking the truth. And I didn't know you felt so strongly about her, I can see you blushing even in the dim light of this room."  
In truth, he was blushing, from wether it was because he was mad or because of the fact that there could be some truth to his words. "Goodbye Yusuke, go bother someone else." Kurama said to him.  
"Alright, alright...,"Yusuke said by he was opening the door in the room and getting ready to walk through the door way.,"Just tell me when the weddings going to be and when you both have your first kids!" Luckly for him he closed the door and left before he could get hit by Kurama's whip. Kurama calmed down after a second or two, that and he saw the damage he did to the door, it was pure luck it was still standing. Sitting down next the red flowers he was standing by, he looked at his rose whip (Is that one word or two) and then turned to the flowers by his side. They were the same flowers that grew in the lake next to Kikyou's village, the sameones that Kikyou and Kurama had talked underafter he heard her sing the same song she had sung to him when he was little. The same song that had saved him in more ways then one, he still wondered why she changed the lyrics. Picking up the card next to it, he read it. It read:

Sorry fox boy, I just need alittle time to myself. I hope you understand.  
Oh and I'm glad you remembered. 

Kikyou

Looking down at the card Kurama wondered why he didn't see it before. 'So I'm fox boy now, huh? I didn't know she had a sense of humor. Oh course I would remember that song...I would never forget it, or the one that sings it...'  
  
It was late at night now, alittle too late to be wondering the halls, but Kikyou just couldn't sleep. Besides, she had gotten pleanty of sleep earlyer that day.  
Kikyou looked her left and saw a big steel door that she hadn't saw earlyer, it was too dark to make out the writeing on it, so she couldn't tell what the room inside was used for. Shrugging her shoulders, she stepped up to the door and opened the door. She entered the room and looked around. At first it was just a empty, huge, steel room. Then the room vanished and was replaced with a field endless field of grass and she was now standing on a large hill under the stary, moon lit, sky "Wow, this must be a illusion. But a good one none the less, I don't sense a demon...so I guess its safe to enjoy it for now." Sitting down on the hill, Kikyou looked up at the stars. It seemed like every constellation she had ever seen was out in the sky.  
Impossible? But thats what she wanted, she guessed correctly that thats how the room worked. Sighing, Kikyou looked up at the sky and wondered if why she felt...sad...almost disappointed with herself.  
"Maybe I should have seen him after all...Heh, this almost reminds me of the time I dragged Inuyasha out of his favorite tree, in the middle of the night, just so we could both see shooting stars run across the night sky..." It had been so romantic...and yet he didn't even make a move! He didn't touch her at all, just held her hand and looked up at the sky. While silently she was breaking, she had had so many doubts that night, it seemed like they would have moved beyond nothing incept friends. Untill the sun came up and he kissed her awake, she had fell asleep alittle before the sun rose. Wakeing up to him kissing her...that had been her first kiss.  
Kikyou smiled at the memory and looked up at the moon. "I will never forget that night, no matter all the pain it has caused me since then...that was the night that I knew Inuyasha's feelings for me were real..." Kikyou looked down at the ground after saying that. "Well that was the night...that I thought they were real anyway..." Kikyou felt herself crying suddenly, standing up, she wiped away her tears. Now wasn't the time to be crying. She didn't want anyone to see her crying...what would they say? What would Inuyasha or Seshoumaru say.  
"Oh thats right...I never saw you again either, and as for Inuyasha...what would he say? Nothing but jubberish I bet. I wonder if this room can make a illusion of people..." Looking in front of her, Kikyou closed her eyes after sighing, if this didn't work, she was going to feel very stupid. Opening she was suprised to see it had worked. (Okay, don't get mad! I know that not everyone likes Sesshoumaru/Kikyou, just like not everyone likes Kikyou. But if you flame me because of this part in the fic, I will rip your head off! Oh and please don't stop reading because of this part, its just a very small Sess/Kik part)  
Standing in front of her, markings on his face and all along with his and his brothers white hair, was Sesshoumaru. He looked down at her and she looked up at him, knowing that he was a illusion. Smileing through her tears, she reached a hand up to touch his face. She held her hand in the air just a centemiter or two from touching him. "In real life I wanted to say something...I didn't really know how I felt...It was nice traveling with you. Near my death, after I saved Rin again from demons, and you said that I could be usefull in helping take care of Rin. Even though I knew you were useing me...it was still nice. Heh, I think I made your eyes alittle bit warmer, maybe in real life I wanted you to look at me the same way you looked at Rin."  
(Flashback, damn I should have labeled when she was talking about Inuyasha as a flashback. Even though I didn't talk about the moment in detail, I'm just not good at writeing Inu/Kik. Well I hope I didn't sponge off anyone plot in Sess/Kik fanfiction. That and I did read on a Kikyou website that she saves Rin in the manga from a demon, I would check to see if thats true. But I'm lazy!)  
  
Sitting outside watching the stars might have seemed boring to some people, but she liked it. Even if she wasn't really watching the stars right at that moment. She was thinking about her and Inuyasha, and maybe just alittle about Sesshoumaru. Kikyou heard a sound behind her and turned to see who it was. "Oh its just you Sesshoumaru...Is Rin asleep?"  
"Yes. though I don't see why you have to ask. Unless you wanted to talk, if so, I'm not talking."he replyed. He stood behind her and looked up at the sky, while Kikyou looked down at the ground.  
"Sesshomaru, what are you going to do once you find Inuyasha and finally kill him? What are you going to do with the sword?"asked Kikyou.  
"I wouldn't bother myself with that question, you just worry about yourself for once."said Sesshoumaru. Kikyou looked up and turned slightly to glare at him.  
"Whats THAT suppost to mean?"said Kikyou. She didn't like the way he said "worry about yourself". It sounded like he thought something bad was about to happen to her. Sesshoumaru looked down at her and for once in his life...laughed, he laughed in her face!  
When he was finished, bended down slightly so he wasn't towering over her sitting form to much. And said: "You seem like your worryed priestess." Kikyou, who from his face close to hers had blushed sightly, was now blushing from anger. She yelled in his face: "You big jerk! The one time you decide to crack a joke and its on me! Don't you have anything else to do!? And stop-" She didn't finish the sentence since he put a hand over her mouth and stared into her eyes. Kikyou blushed again and sat still instead of jumping up and killing a person for the action like she usually would have.  
"Stop yelling, you'll wake Rin and Jaken up. And I'm sure we have all had enough of him for today. Now get some sleep, you'll need it. Besides, you need your strength to be angry, and I'm sure in the moring you'll want to yell at me. Right?" Kikyou nodded and he took his hand off her mouth and walked away. Looking at his disappearing figure, Kikyou put a hand to her mouth. No in the moring she would use her strength to punch, kick, slap, and almost kill Jaken for being mean to her and Rin. In the moring she would probably think back to this night, and have to deal with more of Sesshoumaru's coldness.  
But she didn't mind, because even if he didn't remember, she would always remember the moment.  
  
(Flashbacks over, and sorry if I made Sesshoumaru too ooc.)  
  
Kikyou stopped remembering that day and put her hand back at her side. "That was the first and last time that you made a joke and the first time I yelled at you too.,"She said to more herself then the illusion of Sesshoumaru standing in front of her.,"In a way looking back on it, I think you only said that because secretly you knew what was going to happen." She was silent for a moment and let herself think back to the day of her second death. Then after the memory became to painful and she stopped thinking about it, she looked into his golden eyes, remembering when Kurama was controlled by Naraku.  
"I didn't really think about it then but, I was almost killed by another demon with golden eyes...in a way, Kurama almost reminds me of you. Or maybe he reminds me of Inuyasha...the only difference is that I can trust him. I couldn't trust Inuyasha, and I'm sad to say it but, I couldn't trust you either, I always had the feeling that you were going to use and betray me. But with Kurama, my doubts are different...with him I always wonder about how he feels, not if he's going to kill me or not. And with him...its much harder to say how I feel..."  
Hearing a sound behind her she turned around to see Kurama enter the room that she was in. She turned back to look at the illusion of Sesshoumaru, just to find him gone. Wipeing away her tears and putting a fake smile on her face, she sat down on the hill and waited for Kurama to come to her.  
"Kikyou...I'm surpised to find you here, I almost forgot that this place existed..."said Kurama by he stood by her side looking up at the stars. Kikyou looked up at him and smiled, even if it was a fake smile. It seemed easier to put on a fake face then your real one. Kurama looked down at her and their eyes met. "If you want,"Kikyou said to him.,"we could got to anywhere you want. Any place in the world, just you and me, even any place in the universe..." Kurama smiled and sat by her her side, Kikyou leaned against him. "Thats okay, I don't need to go anywhere. As long as I'm with you...I'm fine."  
"Really, you don't even want a field of flowers? Or the wonders of the world?"asked Kikyou. Kurama smiled at her. "No thanks, I espesilly don't want a field of flowers, not after the dream I had. And I never really wanted to see the wonders of the world. Kikyou, in a way I'm glad you didn't see me these past days..." "Why?"asked Kikyou. She wanted to know if he would guess correctly that she had left him alone so he could heal and forget about what he had done to her. Even if he was controlled by Naraku at the time.  
"Because, I wouldn't know how to act around you. I need some time to clear my head. To think about...us."replyed Kurama.  
"Oh I see, you worryed you would attack me agian.,"asked Kikyou, seeing the look on his face, she guessed that he had worryed about that., "Don't worry, if we can hold on to ourselves we can hold on to anything. I knew that you weren't yourself that night, and that a part of you remained. Even if it happened again, and you did kill me-"  
"I don't want that to happen! Maybe its better if I just leave, you can finish the mission without me..."inturupted Kurama. Kikyou put a hand to his cheek and forced him to meet her eyes.  
"You didn't let me finish, if you did kill me, I would watch over you always. If I couldn't bring you back to me, I would wait for the day when you would come to me. I know now that you would never betray me, I've know all along really...so don't think to much about that night. Just forget it, don't place it true or close to your heart. I will always stay by you, and with me now being the true Priestess of the Shikon no tama, we can end this. Just stay by my side, you give me strength."  
Kikyou leaned let go of Kurama's face and put her head on his shoulder. He blushed and didn't say anything for a few minutes, just watched a shooting star fall across the sky, then he looked back down at her. He was about to say something tell he saw that she was asleep. "Stay...with me..."said Kikyou in her sleep. Kurama put his head against hers and whispered to her sleeping form:  
"Don't worry, I'll stay by you, I'll always stay by your side Kikyou. I'll stay here by my own will, because this is where I belong...by your side..."  
  
The next moring.  
"Has anyone seen Kikyou or Kurama?"asked Botan as she was packing her stuff in the room where she had left there bags. It was a small liveing room and Botan looked around it again. Sure enough, she was right the first time, Kikyou and Kurama weren't among them.  
"Maybe,"said Yusuke.,"the're off makeing babies." Botan's eyes widened by Kuwabara started laughing. Hiei only coughed, he had chocked on the water he was drinking when Yusuke said that. It was just too funny! Too bad Botan didn't think it was.  
She took out her oar and smaked him and everyone in the room on the head then yelled at them. "Your idots are going to help me find them or I will show you how two humans and one demon make a very messy milkshake!"  
"Your going to eat us? And with ice cream?"asked Hiei sarcasticly. Botan kicked him and continued dragging him out the room.  
After walking down a couple of hallways and looking into over a hunderd or so rooms, they came across the steel door that Kurama and Kikyou had come across last night. Botan dragged them all inside and let go of them as she looked shocked for a moment, then giggled.  
"They make the perfeact couple! And they look so peaceful by the're sleeping!"she said.  
"What did I tell you? They were off makeing babies."said Yusuke.  
"Pathtic. Now lets wake them up and get this whole mission over with."said Hiei.  
"I think we should take a picture, its a Kodiac moment!"said Kuwabara. While everyone was standing around and makeing comments. Kurama woke up from all the noise. He yawned and looked over his shoulder at the three standing near the door. "Oh moring already...I guess this place Kikyou created changes with the time...Hey why are you looking at me like that?"asked Kurama. "I didn't think you had it in you man! I thought for sure you were gay!"said Yusuke as he walked up to Kurama and patted him on the back.  
"So did it hurt? Was she ruff on you, I think she's the type of babe that would be into that stuff."said Kuwabara as he walked up to Yusuke and stood next to him.  
"Now come on you two, you know very well that Kurama's not like that! Besides, what happened happened, and its there business."said Botan, which made Kurama even more confused.  
"Whatever, lets just accept the stupid fact that they might have had sex and move on. Its no big deal, through I hope that she doesnt'-"Hiei was inturupted by Kurama, who yelled at all four of them.  
"THAT SHE DOESN'T WHAT!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS THINKING!? WE DID NOT HAVE SEX!! AND STOP ACTTING LIKE WERE MARRYED OR A COUPLE OR SOMETHING, OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP YOU APART AND FEED YOU TO MY PLANTS!!!"yelled Kurama. After a few seconds he stood up and stomped out of the room. Kikyou sat up and yawned.  
"Hey whats going on, moring already...yawn...I'm so tired...I guess I should have went to sleep earlyer...hey whats with you guys?"asked Kikyou.  
"Nothing.,"they all said at the same time., "Lets just continue with our mission..."  
Kikyou shrugged her shoulders. She stood up and started walking toward the exit.  
  
Okay end of the chapter, sorry if some of the characters in this chapter were occ, and I think I went over board with Kurama yelling. But I thought it was hilarious! XD Feed to his plants! Now thats a fanfiction I would want to read, and I'm surprised Kikyou's such a sound sleeper, she didn't wake up at all during all that yelling. Plus who knew Kurama had that in him, I just it only goes to prove the already well known fact, don't mess with quite people. I've already proven that fact to alot of people by yelling at them too. Also, the whole illusion chamber...I got that from a old scifi show! I just felt like putting it in there, through don't ask me on the show I got it from, because I don't know! lol Well stick around for the next chapter! In chapter 10: Kikyou, Kurama, Botan, and the rest continue with their mission, but along the way they have to stop at the town where the Shikon no tama was made...and along the way Kikyou meets Sesshoumaru.  
If you don't like men singing, or even for that matter Sesshoumaru singing, then I suggest you stay away from the next chaper. I wanted that chapter to prove that Kikyou isn't the only singer, through she does sing alot. But don't worry, no one else sings. And the next chapter is a must read, because Kikyou faces off against...herself.  
And trust me! If you skip the next chapter, you will be lost in this story and miss a really cool battle scene between Kikyou and...well Kikyou! Even though I'm alittle bad at battle scenes so don't complain about the next chapter. And if you Sesshoumaru/Rin, I don't like that pairing though, then you will like the next chapter. Through don't expect alot of that pairing, since I don't like it and they don't have a big part in this story! lol Well read and review, and no flames alright? I haven't gotten any but I don't want any now, so review and be nice.  
Oh and sorry if the're alot of spelling mistakes in this, I'm staying up late to finish this chapter so I don't have time to check it! That and because of stupid Arizona and the're whole, go back to school the 12th thing, I will no longer have time to write any updates for things untill weekends. Great, more traffic, no lunch breaks, screaming winying kids, horrible teachers, and hot weather. Gee, thanks Arizona, you dumbasses. Well enough already, just review.


	10. Chapter 10

Did anyone notice while I was alway how long it had been since I updated this? I guess "Darkness and "Kingdom Hearts: Soul Taker" kind of absorbed me for a minute there. But now that I'm back I have two things to say...

1. Thank you so much for the reviews. I got another great review from someone on , and I shall love (like a friend now) forever that person. I have only gotten a total of 3 reviews from that site. Now subtract 3 from all the reviews I have gotten on this site. o)

2. I'm sorry for taking so long to update. And, if you guys don't get creeped out by Sesshoumaru singing, I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Through if you don't thats alright, I will still like it. In fact this will probably be one of my favorites, that and that chapter where Kurama turned evil in Kikyou's dream and they did some things. lol

Warning: Will seem at some times like a musical, complete with men that shouldn't sing singing and the dramatic romance parts that should have that tingleing music in the background. Or maybe this will seem more like a musical with alot of werid shit happening. If I can even use that word in PG-13 fanfiction. Oh and the disclamer is in a bunch of other chapters so go stare at that.

And yes, I intended for Kurama and Kikyou to be ooc last chapter (and this chapter also). They were both dealing with their emotions and crap like that...That and it was plain funny thats why! lamo

My Will ch.10

The bright day wasn't too hot but it wasn't too cold. In fact it was more in between the two. A perfect day. Now that they were in wood lands again it seemed even more so. Because there were no screaming childern, no traffic, no polution or trash. There was just trees, clean air, and flowers. Includeing the beautiful flower in front of Kurama.

Kikyou stretched her arms above her head to try to relieve her sore muscles. With a cat like yawn she closed her deep brown eyes, that seemed more darker with the dark forest trees around her, for a moment then opened one of them when she felt someones eyes stareing at her.

"What? Something wrong Kurama?"she asked cautiously. She had been given a simiular version of that look before, three times before in fact. Once when she first got her modern clothes (when Kikyou had asked what Victoria's Secret was), one time when she had that slightly frightening dream about Kurama, and another time when Kurama was controlled by Naraku and she got the shit kicked out of her by him. She shifted her weight to her right foot and then to her left as she waited for her answer.

After awhile, and Kurama blinking himself out of a intense stare he neither knew he had or was doing, Kurama managed to fish a answer out of his very intelligent brain.

"...N...Nothing..." And then he turned around to look at the path behind him while he tried to put a hold on a slight blush.

'God...When did I revert back into a little kid blushing on a crush with his attractive school teacher...'Kurama thought to himself by pushing away the possiblity that it could be more then a "crush" that he had with the attractive priestess right behind him.

Kikyou thought things out differently. 'Okay, we have a problem here Kikyou. Kurama, the one we all think is incredibly brilliant, just studdered. And is he blushing...Oh my he might...'

Cutting off that thought, Kikyou walked toward him and then around him and cupped his face in her hands then put her right hand on his forehead. "Do you have a cold Kurama? We could stop and I could collect some herbs to heal it. I'm sure the others wouldn't mind and I don't want you to be sick."

At that moment, at Kikyou's words (and actions), the blush that he had been desprately trying to hold in came back and lit up his face a rose pink. It seemed that despite his powerful will and power at keeping things at bay when it came to emotions, all that fell on the floor and broke when she said the last seven words: "I don't want you to be sick." Or maybe it was more of the "I" part. Like the others could be rotting in a puddle of blood, dead and probably half eatten, but she wouldn't care because at that same moment she would be with him. It al took that possessive "I" to end that cool, perfect, in control self he had built up over the years and turn it back into that small, blushing, not possibly able to be in control of his emotions for a second childhood self that he had locked in a corner of his mind. If the otherselfs that he had were all fighting over whether or not they should respond to her question, snap him out of this, or try to stop the blush first THEN deal with that stareing problem of his, Kurama didn't hear that since he was too focused on the possiviness of that "I".

Through that "possiviness" might be in his mind. Or he forgot the fact that it might be the same tone anyone uses when talking to a friend, a child (either one of their own or not), or someone that walked off into the twilight zone but they still love in some little "not a lover" way and he was just all making it up in his "hormones out of control" stareing mind.

Kikyou, luckly, did not have the power to see into peoples minds. Much less their thoughts and feelings. So for the moment she was wondering whether he really was sick and to ask everyone to stop walking ahead of them, pull her hands away from his face and remember her responsiblitlys, or to just stay where she was with her cold hands against his hot face. Keep stareing into his unfocused eyes or leave him and remember her barriers. Her duty. Her job. Him leaveing her, her leaveing him. Her being the unwanted ghost now that he was a grown man (demon) and how now she was the one needing him because she suddenly found herself as the little girl that needs friends and emotions and can't tell herself no or "you shouldn't think about yourself first". No, you shouldn't think about only you. But what about what SHE wanted. Maybe all she wanted really was to be needed and have someone to need. Someone that won't be like that cute little red head with green eyes that long ago day in the woods. Not the cute little boy that didn't know much about the stars or asked too much questions after hearing a story. Or the little boy that had fell asleep when she sang, the one who she had carried back to his mother, or the one she had cried on and over.

No, she did not need that boy. She wanted someone to love her because she was her. She wanted someone to love her because of the things she could do and couldn't do. She wanted someone that wouldn't look at the next pretty thing in a dress after fifty years that looked like her and run off and leave her broken behind. She wanted someone that she knew for a fact wouldn't leave her for a little kid or wouldn't stab her in the heart because he thought that was the best thing for her. No, not someone like that either.

So what did she want? Did she want a man that was also another one of those things she used to hate? Another demon? Did she want a man that reminded her sometimes of that little boy she also didn't want? Did she want a man that had beat the hell out of her (controled or not) and had killed her and violated her in a dream that almost came true? Did she want a man that she had opened up to and found a weakness in herself in? Did she want a man that she had sang to? Kept a secret with? And had deep conversations with that in other eyes would have seemed almost intimate?

'Maybe, just maybe you do.' Her own voice in her head startled her and sent her hand on Kurama's forehead up into the air and then to her side and made her a little jumpy. Kurama's eyes finally refocused after her hand left his face, through her left hand was still on his cheek. He looked into her eyes for a moment, which might have been ten seconds, then turned his head to the side and out of her left hand. He turned around, shook his head and said something about being alright and the others being far ahead of them now so they better hurry up.

'See? Now why did you act that silly, now he thinks you think he has the plague. Just acept the-' Kikyou shook that thought from her head and put her emotionless self in place. She wasn't about to let her "you can handle the truth" self come into place. When the world froze over, demons like Sesshoumaru got what they wanted, and she turned into a weak emotional baby like Kagome would be the day when she would listen to that side of her. That side that wanted to be both herself and a woman, which wouldn't be bad if that side didn't have a "well lets just say what your REALLY thinking" attitude. But she was right, she had acted silly and Kurama had turned away because of that.

But in fact that wasn't true. The real reason was because Kurama snapped back to normal "I can't do that because I have to be better than that" attitude after what his inner "you can handle the truth" self said that maybe he should just admit he had a problem.

And Kikyou was his problem. If he continued to hang around her he would turn into a unreliable person that would fail in battle and end up with her dieing and hateing him for acting like a baby, or hateing him right now since he WAS acting like a baby.

Love was not a new concept. In fact, when he was his old demon self he had lots of lovers and love was more like a board game which you could win with the biggest equipment and a sexy smile.

'If thats true, what would you call this huh?'said Kurama's inner self which turned out to be his inner old demon self. The one he had talked briefly to when he was trying to kill Kikyou thanks to Naraku. 'I don't call this skirt chaseing or trying to seduce anyone. Or trying to be sudtle and waiting for her to come to you. I don't see too much of that lust emotion either. A bit of that, but it's alittle something more isn't it? Just except what we-you-are trying to tell yourself and admit you have a problem! And the problem comes in red with gorgeous dark chocolate eyes and oh so pale skin that you probably wonder at night what it would feel like with nothing seperateing you two. And one can't leave out that mean yet sort of attractive way she can smile and frown at someone at the same time or the fact that her battle skills ain't bad either...'

Luckly for Kurama this time he managed to bit back another blush and another feeling that would affect him too. The last thing he needed was that to pop up and Kikyou turn around and walk right back in front of him. Then there really would be some explaining to do. (don't worry if you don't know what I'm talking about kids, I'll tell you when your older. lol)

Kikyou stood where she was for awhile then decided to walk in back of Kurama and try not to think of his advantages either. Which wasn't a hard thing to do when you tried really hard and made your mind think of blood, death, and Naraku.

(Second part of chapter)

After that incident a few miles back the day turned toward four o' clock and Kikyou and Kurama had forgot or pushed the memory of what had happened to the back of their heads. Determined not to let it rise and take control of them like some angry ghost willing to possess them and probably do somethings which they would regret later.

Kikyou walked with her head down, bored and not knowing what to think about after she thought about demons dieing for the third time from being cut put into match sticks instead of cubes. She was in mid thought about moving on to minced up demons when she heard a familar melody.

(warning: If you do not like Sesshoumaru singing or the thought of him singing, please stop reading or skip this short part.)

"I'm sure that the heart I left behind

still lies hidden in the heart of the deep, deep forest.

Exhausted, without the strength to search

people vanish into infinite darkness.

If it's so small, I wonder if I can see it even now?

As we live on,

we lose a little bit more.

Shrouded in falsehoods and lies,

we stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out."

Without waiting to hear anymore of it or wait for the others Kikyou shot off in the direction of the voice. Heading deeper in the forest and away from the trail before she came to a clearing in the forest with and saw a familar white haired figure leaning against a tree, his almost emotionless face hidden in shadow.

"And yet again we meet priestes...It must be fate." Kikyou smiled and Sesshoumaru took his arms out from their postition of being across his chest and walked toward her, stopping when he was a few feet in front of her. This made Kikyou remember their last encounter, the one before Inuyasha killed her, when he had said that if nothing else it was most likely her voice that scaried people away (since she had scared a couple of people away from their cottage in the woods to examine Rin when she fell down and hurt her knee).

Kikyou looked up at his face and asked: "Still think my voice is scary?"

"Nothing could change that."

"Good."said Kikyou at his answer and the embraced him. The embrace Sesshoumaru returned after a few minutes by wrapping a arm around her shoulder.

Somewhere a little away from the demon and the priestess Kurama was calling Kikyou's name until finally he stumbled across the two of them and was silent. He looked at the scene at first with shock and then a stare that beat his pervious one.

If anything it blew the pervious one off the map with more strange anger and resentment. One could almost call that the first stage of jealously. Stage two was the part where he went off the roof with anger and actually tore apart the demon with Kikyou and then yelled at Kikyou herself. Luckly that stage would never come because Kurama was one of those nice people that new that such actions would have bad, horribly bad, consquences.

Pushing all his feelings back into a deep corner of himself and trying to relax his face out of a scowl into a emotionless mask emitating Kikyou's...Sadly, he failed terriblely at this or the muscules on his face didn't get the message. The deep intense "what the hell are you doing with my woman" stare was still in place and his mouth was drawn into a thin angry line.

Sesshoumaru looked up, realizeing that someone was stareing at him and Kikyou, and smiled (more like gave him a evil little smirk) at Kurama. Which made him grip (which "materilzied" into his hand) his rose whip into a death grip. Kikyou looked up at Sesshoumaru, as he pulled away, with a puzzled experssion until he said:

"It seems your lover has discovered us..."

Kurama turned a shade of angry/embarrassed red and Kikyou blushed slightly also and shook her head into a no. Sesshoumaru laughed slightly and then turned his head toward Kurama. Kikyou looked at Kurama then turned to Sesshouamaru.

"I'm sorry...I haven't even introduced you two...Sesshouamaru, this is Kurama. Kurama, this is Sesshouamaru..." Kikyou trailed off, not quite sure if she wanted them to know each other. It seemed that Kurama seemed more mad at Sesshoumaru for some reason, while Sesshoumaru looked amused.

Through his better instincts said "rip the bastred apart", Kurama restarined himself and smiled (for Kikyou's sake), then said: "It's a pleasure to meet you...How do you know Kikyou anyway?"

At this, several of the inner Kurama's went wild like fans at a football game when their favorite team is loseing or winning.

One inner voice, Kurama's angry side went: 'What the hell are you doing? Rip him apart! Don't just stand there going "It's a pleasure to meet you..." Kill the Motherf'

On of his other voices, the voice of reason, interupted the first one. 'Don't listen to him! Your better than that! Just keep on smileing, it takes more muscles to frown then to smile...

Kurama's demon side (Youko) laughed and his angry side yelled more obscentities by the "good" side kept saying corny words of advice that even Doctor Phil wouldn't use.

Needless to say, all this yelling made his head hurt and his smile to twitch slightly. Earning him a strange look from Kikyou and another cruel laugh from Sesshoumaru as if he could see what he was thinking. Or what the "other" parts of himself were thinking/yelling anyway.

Sesshoumaru stopped laughing and finally got to the point of their strange meeting. "You are heading to where this all began aren't you? Back to where the jewel was created...Do you think the answers lie there in that abandoned demon hunters village?"

Kikyou looked down at the ground. Since agreeing with the woman that had started this mess, she had begun to wonder if it was her own abilities that had got her this far. She was after all the true "Priestess of the Shikon no Tama". What if it wasn't her abilities but the jewels?

"I don't know, I just don't know right now...,"Kikyou looked up from the ground and stared into Sesshoumaru's golden eyes.,"But I do know that's where Naraku is heading. Where ever we go, he goes. He wants to end this as much as I do, not just rule the world. That and we both got something in common, we want to know more about the Shikon no Tama's intentions."

Kurama looked at Kikyou sadly yet with a smile, he knew her better than anyone at the moment, she was trying to be just a little stronger by pretending that the past didn't affect her. Which was one of the reasons he liked her in the first place, she was a real woman. Both strong, yet profound. She was someone which you could depend on and look up to in the worst of times.

Sesshoumaru nodded his head at Kikyou's words, thinking something like Kurama was all the time. Kikyou's strength by not letting her personal feelings get in the way was also one of the things that made him befriend her. She wasn't a woman to back down and cry, she was the true Priestess of the Shikon no Tama, not a imitation like her copy Kagome. The Shikon no Tama's evil wouldn't kill her like it did Kagome, no, it would make Kikyou stronger.

'I want to see you become stronger...,'Sesshoumaru smiled at the thought, like a father thinking of his daughter doing her best.'Lets see if you can handle the Shikon no Tama's power or fail like your weak reincarnation Kagome. Lets see where the simularites between you and her fade...'

Sesshoumaru stepped back and looked Kikyou up and down. "It's true,"he said."you have gotten stronger...Through that style of dress isn't like you though."

Kikyou smiled and looked up at him. "Well, unlike some people I change with time. You haven't."she said by pointing out his clothes. Sesshoumaru glared at her.

"This style of dress befits me because I am a ruler of these lands. But thats besides the point. Take care Kikyou, there are more forces at work in that demon slayers village then you know...I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

Kurama, who had been keeping silent tell now, finally spoke up at Sesshoumaru's words."Don't worry, she won't." Of course he also said this with a angry possessive glare.

Sesshoumaru turned to him, amusement in his eyes along with a kind of willingness to protect her he had since he had lost Kikyou and almost lost Rin when he first met her. "We shall see fox demon, but for your sake, she better not be hurt or it will be you I'll come back for when I find out she is dead."

Kikyou, seeing Kurama was about to say something further, reached out and grabed his hand. Squezing it slightly, she kept him from saying anything else by keeping his mind focused on her.

Sesshoumaru turned around and was about to leave when something came out of the woods from his right and tackled him. The small form, that was currently gripping on to his pants leg, had white hair like her father but brown eyes like her mothers. But what really stuck out was the white tail that wagged happily on her behind. She was a half demon and Sesshoumaru's child at that.

"Daddy, I tackled you! I'm getting better huh?"said the small girl.

Sesshoumaru sighed, the pains of childhood were already showing when he was only 6 years along the road..."Yes Megumi, you are getting better..."

At this, the small half demon named Megumi smiled and Sesshoumaru sighed again. Kurama, confused at the moment, turned to Kikyou to see her reaction only to see her slightly confused and saddened.

"Ah, there is my little Meg, gone again to tackle her father..."a woman's voice floated out of the trees. A older and, suprisently still alive, Rin appeared from Sesshoumaru's left wearing a orange kimono with yellow flowers on it.

Kikyou looked to her with suprise. "But how..."

Rin finished her sentence. "One of Kagome's gifts. I could have gone back with her and Inuyasha into the future, but instead I asked for her to give me a life that wouldn't fade unless Sesshoumaru's did. I want to always stay by his side...I wanted also to st...stay...stay by yours also Kikyou-sama!" At this Rin burst into tears and Kikyou walked over and hugged the now older woman. Through the confusion, saddness, and jealousy that she felt, she still was Rin's friend. In someways her mother. And always a person she could count on. How could she let the feelings that she had felt for Sesshoumaru, who was now Rin's husband, get in the way of that?

It was all in the past...and now was the future.

"It's alright Rin...I'm here, I'm back...I won't leave again, I promise..."Kikyou said slowly, trying to measure her words so that she could understand through her tears. Rin looked up and smiled.

"You don't have to act brave in front of me Kikyou, I'm stronger now too!"said Rin with a slight smile. Kikyou smiled back at her slight joke.

After that they were all introduced, Kikyou and Kurama stayed with them for a few minutes for lunch, since Rin packed a heavy picnic lunch and begged her old friend to stay. Kurama didn't kill Sesshoumaru (for now). Kikyou kept her emotions in check and even played with Megumi. And Rin got Sesshoumaru to smile a actual not making fun of you smile (which is still a hard task for both his wife and most people).

As the two were leaving, Sesshoumaru said to Kikyou. "Even if you have gotten stronger, have YOU also got stronger or just your outside strength? Remember that, you might need it for what awaits you in the slayers village up ahead...Lets hope your fox takes care as well, I wouldn't want you to fall..." Kikyou looked questionably at Sesshoumaru until he waved at her to go and she and Kurama left.

As Kurama and Kikyou were walking back to the way they came to find the others, Hiei jumped down from a tree in front of them.

"Where were you two? That and Botan wanted to know what what was with the singing..."Hiei said by looking suspiciously from one to the other. Kikyou didn't say anything so Kurama made up some excuse about some campers and Kikyou wanting to see if they could give them directions to the village they were heading to. Hiei didn't lose the "what are you up to" look he had, but he did seem to buy the answer. For now anyway.

When he had left Kurama let out a sigh. Who knew what the others must think now...And if they knew about the Lord of the West, who knew what would happen then. That and it would just be one more distraction that they didn't need or could afford. Speaking of the demon...What had he meant by his words anyway?  
Turning to look at Kikyou, Kurama found that she didn't have a answer either. That and she still held a look of confusion mixed with a deep saddness that she wasn't willing to share. Sighing again, Kurama started walking knowing that Kikyou would follow. And a second later she did, he heard her light foot steps as she kept in back of him the whole time.

(Thrid part of chapter)

The sun was starting to go down and it seemed that that was as far as they were going to get for the night. Botan set up camp and ordered the men to go get firewood, while she and Kikyou started going over a strategy for tomorrow. When they had left Botan turned toward the saddened priestess and took the smile she had off her face. There was a reason why she had sent the others away, she wanted to talk to Kikyou alone. Just her and the priestess one on one. Woman to woman. Former undead to former undead.

Botan measered her steps carefully as she neared the other woman. Kikyou was quite, yes, but she did have a dangerous side and that showed in her life. A life which Botan knew all about since she had went over and over her file. She was the kind of dangerous woman whose move you didn't know until she made it.

She was also the kind of woman that could easily turn on someone for asking the wrong question. And what she was about to ask was the WRONG question. Gulpping as she got within five feet, Botan tried to take the next steps more slowly and quitely since it seemed that Kikyou had her eyes closed. And the element of suprise might make this easier...

However, Kikyou had good hearing too and knew she was stepping toward her when she made the first step. Snapping her eyes open and looking up at her Kikyou gave her a glare and a question. "What is it Botan and what is the reason for trying to sneak up on me anyway?"

The ferry woman that was usually happy and cheery put on a grave face. "Kikyou, we need to talk..."

Meanwhile...

Kurama was a plant person, that much was true, but even now it seemed the trees were laughing at him. Or maybe it was more like the winters had been kind and there wasn't as many fallen branches as there should be. Frowning, he tried a little harder to look for some. Through his second try came back with no success.

Yusuke, who had never had much patience for dealing with things he didn't want to deal with, finally made a smart suggestion. "How about we just cut off a tree branch?"

Kurama turned around, along with the other two, and they all glared at him for his stupid (but smart if the curomestances were different) suggestion.

"Yeah and risk Naraku finding us? Or how about the fact that the suns going down and we could cut ourselves or the branch above our heads?"yelled Kuwabara.

"That and all we need are branchs stupid, not the whole damn tree. It wouldn't burn quickly anyway."said Hiei. Yusuke rubbed the back of his head with his left hand and muttered something about them not haveing any smart ideas themselves.

Kuwabara seemed to realize something and voiced his opinion out load. "Why are we doing this for Botan anyway? Shouldn't we just ignore or tell her to do it herself like we usually do?"

None of them had a answer for that.

Kikyou looked at her, annoyed that her time had been wasted for "girl talk". This was hardly a sleep over and she wasn't in the mood. She glared at her angrily and was about to yell at her until Botan said three words:

"It's about Kurama..." Kikyou threw out what ever it was she was going to say and listened. For the moment any way. Botan waited to see if Kikyou was going to yell or possibly kill her. When no blow of verbal or physical blows came Botan sighed and continued.

"What do you feel for Kurama, Kikyou? Is it just his looks or-"

Kikyou cut her off. "Why do you ask me this Botan? I don't have time and it is NONE of your business anyway!"

Botan, for once, glared back at Kikyou and even yelled at her. "It is MY business when it comes to him! He's becomeing increasingly distracted and YOU weren't there when he was in a coma! So that MAKES it my business!"

Kikyou stood up at this and made her hands into fists at her sides. Angry beyond words. "Don't tell me about him being in the hospital! I was the one that made the deal to get his life back! Not you, not your boss, not Yusuke, it was me! His life was in the palm of my hands and I hesitated! For just a moment, just a second, I thought that maybe I should just fuck everything and have what I want. If I was dead then maybe Naraku wouldn't have a purpose to continue this! And maybe I wouldn't be the one hurting Kurama anymore! I went to see him, but not after we were relocated. And you want to know why, Botan? Do you, huh? It was because I didn't want to see him any more! I didn't want to see him hurt or hurting because of me!"

"Thats bull and you know it!"Botan said by shakeing her head from side to side. She knew that wasn't the real reason. And even if it was, she couldn't accept it.

"Oh yeah? Well you tell me what was the real reason! Because I don't know, I don't know anymore! I can't tell whats real or not anymore! And maybe you have the wrong idea, I do not love him. I don't love anyone and even YOU have to accept that! I hated him! I hated him for not keeping his promise and helping to make me human again! He might as well have killed me that night just like Inuyasha did! Because I can't stand looking at the demon that follows in his footsteps!"

Botan looked shocked at her words for a moment. Then did something very unlike her. She balled one of her hands into a fist and with the other slapped Kikyou across the face.  
Kikyou wasn't sent flying, it wasn't hard enough, but it did send her face flying to the right. And when the first stab of pain and redness kicked in, she snapped her head back to it's orginal position to see Botan angry and crying.

"You lier! Don't you dare say something like that about him! I don't care if it's a lie or not! How do you think he feels after all those years! You don't even know him anymore! And maybe you should have killed yourself that night if you're going to be that selfish!"

Kikyou wasn't a impulsive woman. She didn't act (most of the time) on her emotions. But she couldn't help it this time. It was like something, some angry something, in the back of her mind had snapped when or before that slap was given.  
And that side of her wanted action, it wanted blood.

Before Botan could react, she was on the other woman. Before she heard the first footsteps of the others and realized she had slapped her hard enough to make a thin spary of blood come up onto her face, she was already ontop of Botan and the both of them were on the ground.

When Kurama and the others got back, the site that greeted them wasn't pretty. It was in fact quite ugly and was nothing like the cat fights on tv. At least in those cat fights there was screaming people (mostly men) and both of the woman were at each others throats.

This one, was different. Because none of the woman was still standing and no one's clothes were ripped and one woman had the face of a murderer. By the other was in pain and getting slapped repeatedly.

The "other woman" happened to be Botan. And she was, in lack of better terms, getting knocked the fuck out by the over 600 year old priestess.

Luckly for her, Yusuke and Kwabara managed to slip there arms around her waist and, still slapping away, arms. Through Kikyou wasn't about to be stopped, she kicked at Botan until she was a safe distance away from her and then all but tried to rip the two mens arms from their sockets.

"Let me at her, that bitch, how dare she say something like that! You should have just minded your own fucking buisness you ferrying bitch! How dear you...HOW DARE YOU!"Kikyou kept screaming like it was a football anthem.

Hiei helped Botan up when it seemed like she had gone into shock. All Botan could do was quiver her damaged and bloody lip and put a hand to her cheek. While all Kurama could do was stand there in shock, dimly realizeing that he had dropped to his knees.

Yusuke, who had had enough of holding the inraged priestess at bay, finally asked another smart question. "How the fucking hell did this happen?"

Kikyou went still at his words, whatever force that had taken over her during those five to ten minutes pstopped and went away licking it's bloody paws. Going limp in Kuwabara and Yusuke's arms she vagely realized that she was crying herself until the second tear landed in the dirt. Then standing up straight she narrowed her eyes at the blue haired woman in her line of vision and threatened her.

"If you ever try to ask me again about what I feel for HIM, I will do more then slap you silly. And if you think these two men in back of me are any protection, you can forget it. I WILL murder you. In your sleep, in broad day light, at evening time, even while you fucking eat you river of hell bitch. And don't think I won't either. I have killed far more worthy opponents then your weak getting in the way ass. And next time, I won't stop until you lie in a puddle of gore and blood that is your own." Then after saying that, she shook free of Yusuke and Kuwabara (who had went into shock themselves) and walked away into the dark woods of the night.

And then...Botan fainted, and probably let go some bodly fluids too.

The first to recover from what had just taken place was Hiei, who hadn't really went into shock at all. He laughed and then exclaimed: "Well that was currently interesting, I'm starting to like that priestess more and more!"

Kuwabara snapped out of it and glared at him. "I thought you would, only people like you can apreciate a moment like that. I'm takeing Botan to the nearest hospital there is. I think her jaws broken, since Kikyou looked like she had a pint of blood on her from fighting against Botan. I would be suprised if ANYTHING wasn't broken..."

Kurama turned to look at the conversation taking place and Botan being taken away like a man watching a movie. It seemed too surreal...Like a dream. Kikyou had looked far more demonic fighting against Botan then she had with fighting against Inuyasha. If you could even call that fighting. It was more like killing. If they hadn't come in time or when they did...Botan would have surely been dead. There was no doubt in his mind about that.

'I can't believe it...Is this even the same Kikyou...' And with those thoughts Kurama did something very unlike him, he left. And when he was far enough, he leaned against a tree and rammed the back of his head into it hard enough for him to see stars.

Bitting his lip he tried to repress at shrill cry of anger, sadness, and confusion. It almost worked only a thin squeak came out instead and he kept himself from breaking down like a weak little girl and crying. Closeing his eyes, Kurama counted to thirty and then opened them to the darkness of the trees. Looking up at the stars, he voiced what he was thinking out loud.

"Was that even the same priestess from before? The priestess I used to know? And if so, are we really fighting who we should? Who's the real monster? The woman I care for or the man I'm hunting? I just don't know...the lines between what I used to know and what I thought could never happen have seemed to blur..."

Leaning more heavily against the tree he was leaning against, he laid his head back with out hitting it and closed his eyes. Letting a few tears of fustration slip he voiced another thought to the empty part of the forest around him.

"Did I even really know her...Do I even really know her now?"

Kikyou didn't know where she was wandering until she reached the clearing that was the battle ground that the first battle that would birth the Shikon no Tama took place. Sinking to her knees in the middle of the empty field, she let out a ear pierceing scream of horror and anger to the empty night sky.

Falling forward on her knees slightly she let out a dry sob and steadied herself with her right hand by covering her mouth with her left one. She didn't want another cry like that comeing out of her mouth unless she wanted the others to know where she was. Closeing her eyes she let out another sob and then started crying.

'Are you just going to sit there and cry! You should be grateful you slapped that prying bitch!'some part of her mind screamed. It was probably the same part that had beat Botan to shit in the first place. Kikyou wouldn't stand for that voice though and screamed at it to shut the fuck up and leave her the hell alone.  
'It's funny you should mention hell...I saved you from it again Kikyou!'the same voice screamed at her. Only this time it sounded clearer, it sounded like...

"Midoriko..."Kikyou hissed out, her original anger reawoken."How dare you, haven't you done enough!"

'You mean, "haven't I done enough?" It was originally your feelings of anger that I fed off. Your weakening Kikyou, you can't weaken when you face Naraku. Sesshoumaru knew this, thats why he said that. That demon would have only made you fall...'

Kikyou made her hand on the ground into a fist. "You don't know that! Just because you're bitter from what happened to you, no, whats STILL happening to you doesn't make it right to control-"

Kikyou was cut off as the fomer priestess/general screached in her head powerful enough to make anyone's ears bleed. 'BITTER? BITTER? YOUR THE ONE WHO IS BITTER! YOU STILL ARE! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU STILL LIE ON THIS EARTH AFTER YOU WERE KILLED AGAIN? WHY ELSE WOULD THE COIN OF YOUR SOUL BE FILLED WITH IT? DON'T TELL ME ABOUT BITTER! IT WAS ALSO YOU AND YOU ALONE THAT HURT THAT WOMAN! I JUST PUSHED YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! YOU WANTED TO KILL HER BECAUSE YOU ARE SO DAMN POSSESSIVE OVER THAT DEMON! BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPP-'

Kikyou cut off the priestess by punching herself in the stomach. A move that always seemed to work to knock anyone out. And so it worked, and Midoriko went away. Kikyou sighed and fell over to her side. It seemed she was more tired then she had thought she would be...

'I'll make things right in the morning, but this time I'll tell the truth...'

(Yay! I just screwed up my own chapter, and I like it the way it came out! Don't worry, there is more where this came from! Thank you all that have reviewed the past chapter and the ones before that:D)

It was raining, but it shouldn't have been rainning? Should it? No, this was just another dream. And in this one he was a little kid. Looking around at the "do no cross" police tape he could see that it was quite a little while after he was lost, found, and rescued. The first and only time he was ever lost in the woods. He should have felt ashamed and embarrased for it. But instead he felt...

Afraid. He was afraid that he didn't keep his promise and that something had happened to his friend in the woods. Something bad. He just didn't know what...

Maybe she was angry? Yes, maybe Kikyou was angry. Maybe she hated him for not keeping his promise. Had, "I'll come back someday and visit you" just been another empty promise? Just like he promised his mother that nothing like that was going to happen to him again..But could he really promise her that? He wasn't allowed to, any day now he could be dead and his mother would be alone remembering that promise when he "accidently" got hit by a car or "accidently" been in a mugging gone wrong. He couldn't promise her anything as much as he could make the rain stop.

"I don't care, that has nothing to do with Kikyou anyway. If she's angry I should face it, not just stand here in the rain getting a cold." With those words to back him up, he started stepping into the dark woods.

A image flashed in his mind as he did this, a image of him, but older, and Kikyou fighting. And he was getting the upper hand, he was hurting her. Shakeing the thoughts away he continued. Kurama couldn't afford to chicken out now, he had promised her something and he sure as hell better live up to it. Thoughts or no thoughts.

It was easy to find the clearing again once he put his mind to it, he had had trouble before. In fact in real life he hadn't even gone back. A mistake that had caused all this in the first place a mistake called, giving her something to be angry about again. In a way it was all his fault. And if it was the question was not about Kikyou's actions but his own.

Is what he felt for her love or guilt?

There was not such thing as love at first sight, neither was there fairy tale romances that were suppost to happen. Love was more like a need. A need more stronger then pain killers. It was a drug called: Needing to be loved and being loved in return. Everybody felt it, just like everybody wanted it. Some would do anything for it, others anything ot stay away from it. Love was also, protection, lust, and some parts interest. And that was probably all there was to it. That and nothing more.

And if there was more, he wouldn't know now would he? Because he was just feeling guilty and that was why he was back. He, Kurama, did not love or like her. It was just guilt. There, it's out in open and done away with. And after he goes and tells her that, and says he finally kept his promise, it will all be over and he can go back home to a simple life of killing demons and mother's cookies.

Stepping into the field of Kikyou flowers he walked up to the slightly bent tree and looked up at it.

Instead of seeing Kikyou he saw the other him. Youko.

He grinned and stopped picking his claws. It sure took a hell of a time for Kurama to get back to the old times. When he met the priestess, when he left her, and when he came to terms with what was now happening and what he was feeling now. Things in Kurama's head went like a movie screen with extra fast forward buttons. Hell, everything singal thing he didn't want to remeber was on flash forward! He just didn't know it yet.

"You've been running from the truth for a long time Kurama..."Youko said with a slight tone of truimph in his voice. Kurama frowned and glared at him.

"You're not who I was expecting to see..."

Youko lifted a eyebrow at this in a "oh you don't say" expression. "And just who were you expecting?"

Kurama practicly blew a lid off a garbage can when he said that. "You know damn well who I was expecting!"

Youko laughed and put his index finger on his left hand in a "tisk tisk" motion. "Such bad lauguge for one so little, does your mother know you're saying such words?"

"Don't call me little! Don't you EVER call me little! And my mother is none of your business! Now what is the meaning of this!"

Youko leaned forward and said in a voice above a whisper. "The meaning is this: You better wake up Kurama and smell the real world. This ain't no Romeo and Juliet, no Willow Park, and certiantly no romance book shit. Those people that wrote that crap didn't know real love, this is the real thing baby and the REAL real question is this. Can you handle that? Can you love someone by hateing them at the same time? Can you live with a persons faults as well as their good points? whether your still around tomorrow, whether she still loves you fifty years down the road when she can no longer remember how or when the two of you met, whether you can get up in the morning and go to bed with someone that both killed and ate for breakfast young woman just to survive to die, whether you can live with yourself if the very things which you hunt down for the underworld is the very thing which you call sweet nothings too when you do try to have kids, whether she will understand you, whether you will understand her, whether you will not kill her and she you, whether you can forget the past-as pain full as it maybe sometimes-and Botan almost getting killed because she asked a forbidden question, and whether, Kurama my dear, YOU can live with the fact that Kikyou isn't the perfect little rescuer that saved you. That what saved you was a good day, a love for childern, and the fact that she couldn't really harm you much less try to defend you unless she wanted to spend the rest of the day trying to get her energy level back up enough to stay on this plane of exstiance. What really probably kills you is the fact that you knew even before Botan became just another victim, the fact that you were saved by a monster-like a horrible demon or bear in the woods-dressed up like a woman. And that you liked and later love this horrible monster that you call Kikyou. This is real love, not guilt you're over guilt you stopped feeling guilty sometime between a coma and keeping her singing a secret, this is what it's all about. And if you can't accept that then drop it and move on. Because I'm sure Sesshoumaru could use a extra wife, Inuyasha could probably need some help at that shrine of his not to mention a mother for Shippo-as horrible as he may be, and some poor loser with no idea what happened to her in the past would like a bed mate."

Seeing that Kurama got his point, Youko leaned back against the tree he was lying in and waited for Kurama to get out of shock for the second time today.

"Wh...Why...Why would you tell me this?"Kurama asked, confused, dazed, and a little saddened by the information that love was really hate and hate was really love.

"To wake you. Now stop thinking about what love is and wake your pretty boy ass up. Wake up Kurama."

Of course Kurama did once his mind literally shoved him off the cloud which he had been on. That or the owl above his head wouldn't shut the hell up. Frowning, Kurama did the first good thing of today, he shut up the owl (by whiping the poor thing to death with his rose whip) and stopped thinking about Botan getting the shit kicked out of her. It didn't matter, what did matter was that he was in fact in love with the priestess named Kikyou.

It didn't matter that Youko could have been making that stuff up or Kikyou was really evil after all. Or the fact that he still didn't know what love was. Time was too short and he didn't give a damn about going around and telling people the answer to the universe was peace, love, and happiness. Not to mention haveing a fox demon inside you to hand out helpful words of advice.

What did matter was that he wanted Kikyou now. Not later, not in the morning, not two weeks from now after a morning coffee and some doughnuts between bullshit homework, NOW.

Stepping away from the tree and giving it one quick look he started walking. Heading where his nose led him. His instincts hadn't been wrong before, they wouldn't be wrong now. Smileing he whispered something just to show Youko that he wasn't a "little" kid. "I'm not going to call 1800-hotline, I'm just going to go somewhere and make Kikyou my lover. There, beat that you Shakespeare wanta be!"

It didn't rhyme and it probably sent Youko into fits of laughter that frightened the other chained up parts of him. But that didn't matter, he had the rose (but not the ring) and he knew what he wanted. And he didn't need anyone to tell him what to do. He could do it himself.

Kikyou was wakeing up from a familar presence. Through all her instincts told her to go and run away, since it was probably Naraku, she held her ground instead. She was too tired to tell who it was, but she wasn't about to just sit there and play the damsel in distress. Hell no, that would be unhonorable.

Standing up she took out her bow and arrows and pointed a arrow toward the line of woods. Waiting made her nervous, but when the demon was close enough, she let go a arrow and waited to for it's life force to disappear.

It didn't instead it got stronger. Kikyou tensed up, so it was Naraku. He had come for her after all.

"Don't think I'll give up easily demon!"yelled Kikyou as she got ready to fire another arrow. But before she could, a familar red haired demon popped out of the woods with her arrow in his hand.

Leaning against a tree, Kurama held the arrow between his index finger and his thrid finger in his right hand and smiled. "I wouldn't want you to."he said by answering her pervious words.

Dispite herself, Kikyou could feel herself blushing. She had gave into anger too quickly, it was just Kurama. And through she still might not know what her feeling for him were, she knew he wouldn't kill her either. Putting her hand with her bow at her waist she put her arrow away.

"What is it you came here for?"

Kurama smiled agian, she could be cute and ignorant too. That marked the second change in her he hadn't expected. How interesting...Walking away from the tree and toward her he said in a low and sexy voice: "You."

Kikyou turned her head to the side, confused. Did he come here to kill her or was Naraku controlling him. "I don't understand..."

"Well understand this, myself and I came to an understanding."

He reached Kikyou and in less time then he thought he would. So this was the wonder of shutting out your mind and just listening to your body. It's a wonder he didn't do it before, how easier everything would have been. When he was in front of Kikyou, she paniced (thinking he was going to kill her after all) and notched a arrow in her bow and aimed at his chest. Luckly, Kurama stopped her by gripping her wrist, that was holding her bow , until she dropped it into the grass. When the weapons were disposed of, he held on to her bow arm with his right hand and reached out with his left to cup her chin in the palm of his hand.

Kikyou closed her eyes against tears of frustration. So this was how it was to end once again..."What ever you're going to do Kurama, get it over with quick."

"What ever you say Kikyou..." Putting his face close to hers he hesitated before doing what he wanted to, he closed his eyes and silently cursed. It seemed the logic him had won out after all.

'You know that wouldn't be right Kurama, you're better than that.'

It also seemed that the part of him that had been running the show for far too long just wouldn't shut up and let his body run it all after all. Though Kikyou was right, what ever he was going to do he better do it quick. Because this was starting to lose its appeal with Kikyou starting to cry, probably thinking he was going to stab a hand through her heart now, and him stalling.

'It just wouldn't be right, not at least until you know that she feels the same!'

He probably would have stopped if it hadn't been for O' Youko again. 'Fuck it and think about the consquences later. You can't be a virgin forever you know, just like you can't wait forever either. Find out as you go about what she feels. She hasn't stabbed you yet anyway.'

That shut the voice of reason up and got him moveing again.

He brushed his lips agianst hers and Kikyou stopped crying with one final whimper. Kurama mentally grinned and leaned in for the kiss when Kikyou asked a question.

"Kurama...Wha-"

He cut her off. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now sorry Kikyou for saying this but, shut up." When he knew for sure that she wasn't going to say anything further, he hungrly (from all those days, and probably years, of keeping it all bottled inside) pressed his lips against hers and started enjoying the experiance of a life with out rules. Even if it lasted for only this night at least.

Kikyou was shocked at first, then returned the kiss with as much emotion as him. The rest went up hill from there, they only thought about Botan and the others finding them once and even that was brief. As they sank to there knees to let what happened happened, it didn't really matter anymore.

They would just "fuck it and think about the consquences later". For now the good version of Kikyou's dream was comeing true and Kurama didn't have to be the smart and in control one.

As Kurama started slipped a hand up to her breast Kikyou pulled away and panted for awhile to regain her breath. Then smiled and said: "When did you turn into a Miroku? Nevermind...Are you sure this is what you want? I am damned you know and I broke your pretty bottle blue friends lip..."

Kurama let his hand slip all the way up to her breast and smiled. "And I care how? Real love isn't about whether you break Botan's nose or Yusuke's. Hell, you could probably break my father's-God rest his soul-nose and I would still think that you were incredibly sexy."

Kikyou laughed. "Incredibly sexy, huh? Is that the only thing what brought you up here, whats under my clothes?"

Kurama pretended to be thinking for a moment and then answered her question. "No, I actually came to tell you the meaning of the universe is pudding and two plus two is sixty four. Just kidding, I came up because I really really felt like it and I love you. Any more questions?"

"No...But what about..."

"The past? What about it? We can discuss that when we get to that village Sesshoumaru was talking about. Now shut up again and lets kiss."

Kikyou rolled her eyes. And here before her was the same man who she had ate with, reduced to a Miroku tugging at her dress. "Shouldn't we wait until after our business is settled?"

"No. Why should we? If Naraku himself wants to start something right here and now, I'll ask him to give me a minute to put on my pants and then I'll kick the shit out of him. There, end of discussion. Now take off the dress and we can get things moveing again."

Kikyou first removed his hand off her breast then took off the dress. Making a move of her own this time, she leaned forward and took Kurama's face into her hands.

"You want me, come and get me fox demon."Kikyou whispered in a sexy voice. Kurama grinned.

"What ever you say priestess."

(End chapter)

Yay! I just butched my story into little oddles of noodles! I hope you all are happy, because I sure know as sure as hell I am!

Sure, it wasn't what it was suppost to be. After the part with Sesshoumaru it was suppost to go automatically to the village and Kikyou faceing off against herself (will happen in chapter 11). But instead we got a cat fight, werid advice from Youko, and Kikyou and Kurama getting it on. But thats okay, I got to learn to write romances with the romance not at the end anyway. This almost became rated R kiddys, so be glad it didn't...Unless you want it too. But I wouldn't post it here and I probably wouldn't any where else. But if you are the kind of person that really likes this story and you really like rated R stuff, ask me nicely and give me your email saying you want the rated R version. Of course it will only be this chapter and you might not get it tell Christmas, not to mention it would be a little hard to read since it would be my second R scene I had to write. (First one was for "New love old enemies" which you can find while typeing in that title or looking up the penname "Goddesses of love".) So I wouldn't be really well written. But I owe you readers something for all your lovely reviews.

Exspecially justpassingby, with out your review I wouldn't have written the romance early. Originally it was to come at the last chapter and it was not where near as good as this. (That one just had talk and Kikyou kissing Kurama and that was all.) So now I guess I can't go with the old story line for this, don't worry it will still be the same "My Will". But just with some modifications to the old version written out in my head and in my notebook. Because all this (points to chapter) came out late at night and without any warning at all.

That and before I close the chapter I have this one last thing to say...Sorry Shakespeare, people that like those stupid romance books, and the people who starred in, made, and liked that fucking boring movie Willow Park. :P

Review and see ya later. ;


	11. Chapter 11

I haven't really updated this since about a year ago. That's sort of sad and really saying something about either myself or my writing. Sorry for the really long wait. But I'm one of those creatures that feel that they should write when they feel like it. If I try to write any other time everything comes out crappy. Thanks everyone for reviewing and reading this:)

Oh and when Kikyou starts yelling at Botan after she beats her up is "how dare you!" not "how dear you", sorry for the spelling error. I'll try to fix the spelling errors on all chapters soon.:( If your horrible at spelling like me, I recommend that you download OpenOffice 1.1.4 off of site. Oh and forgive my grammar in the last chapter. "we both got something"? What the hell, I made Kikyou sound unKikyou like. And does Sesshoumaru ever smile? Or maybe it's just because he has a family now, but still.. I think I turned him into some musical family man or something in the last chapter. 0o

Warning: You might experience confusion, what the fness, and other symptoms of I write really confusing chapters. If you experience any of these symptoms please don't stop reading, because it will only make it worse.

My Will ch.11

The morning breeze felt good against Kikyou's bare skin. The sun had just rose over the horizon only a few hours ago, through it felt like forever.

'I can't stay here...' Kikyou thought and then blinked away her tears. When had she started crying?

Kikyou started to sit up and was instead pulled into a strong embrace. A soft voice whispered in her ear: "Where are you going?"

Kurama waited to hear her answer, knowing that her hesitation meant that she was going to make something up.

Kikyou sighed and turned around in Kurama's arms to face him. "We can't stay here, they'll know you went to look for me...How are we going to explain this?"

"Explain what? Why not just tell them the truth...But you would rather keep this a secret, wouldn't you?"

Kikyou smiled sadly. "Sorry Kurama, but after last night I don't think they would take to the idea."

Kurama closed his eyes, thinking over what to say next. He opened them and stared into Kikyou's eyes: "I don't care what they think. If it comes to it, I'll protect you even from them."

Kikyou wanted to counter his words but couldn't think up anything or find the time to. With a nod of her head, Kikyou broke free of Kurama's embrace and searched for her clothes. Finding them, she put them on and handed Kurama his. Once they were properly dressed and ready to go, Kurama thought of one problem that was wrong with there plan.

"Our scent..." Kurama said. "They'll know that we...well you know."

Kikyou smiled at him. "You're really cute when you blush you know. Don't worry, we'll reach the village first and take a bath there."

Kurama stood up and looked at Kikyou with a half smile/frown on his face. "I'm blushing?"

Kikyou shook her head and smiled again. Sometimes, he really was that kid from long ago.

* * *

"You can't blame them." 

"Botan, how can you be so forgiving after what she did? And then and then instead of going with us to the hospital he just left! Probably to-"

Botan interrupted Kuwabara by placing a hand on his shoulder. She couldn't stand up yet, so luckily for her Kuwabara was sitting. "Kikyou wasn't herself when this happened."

"What do you mean she wasn't herself?"

Botan continued: "Kikyou usually keeps her calm, even in arguments. And even if she didn't, I would be able to tell by her aura. Wasn't there something strange about it?"

Kuwabara thought for a while, his mind going over Botan's words. "Now that you mention it, their was something odd. I didn't notice it at first because of the heat of the moment, but there seemed to be someone else there."

"Midoriko. Even the most powerful can be driven insane by a repeating event. I too thought it was Kikyou at the time, but I've been going over the events of the last few days. Including Kikyou and Kurama's mysterious recovery. And have come to the conclusion that the third party that night was in fact Midoriko."

Kuwabara stood up, ready to leave and tell the others. "Then we should tell the others that Kikyou's possessed!"

"More like taking over or sharing a soul or conscious. But your right, we should tell them. And soon."

* * *

"This village really is abandoned." 

The once proud Demon Slayers village was a pitiful site to behold. Now it was completely baron. The only sign that remained to tell that anyone had lived there was the rotting outlines of houses and the old graves that were over grown with weeds and other plant life from years of no being taken care of.

"I never visited this place when I was alive. Now, finally visiting it, it seems..." Kikyou trailed off as she got to the word empty. Just being here reminded her of her days as one of the living dead.

Kurama seemed to read her mind and wrapped his arms arms around her in a comforting manner. "Well, since it seems like there's no way we can get a bath now."

Kikyou smiled a little at his joke and added: "Like you want us to anyway."

"I wouldn't mind another bath if it ended like last night. Besides, I like you like this."

Kikyou blushed at his words. When did he become so...Sexy? And why was she getting hot and bothered at his words anyway? They had a job to do. With her mind focused on that, Kikyou broke away from Kurama's embrace and gazed toward the cave where all that reminded of the great battle was resting. Inside there, inside Kikyou rested Midoriko. The priestess that started this all, that, even now could not rest and was stirring within her. Unhappy over what had happened recently. Maybe two people could be put to rest today. If one could even call Naraku anything but a bastard.

"Let's go Kurama." Kikyou said, her mind set on ending the life of Naraku and finding out more about her position of "Priestess of the Shikon no Tama". "Kurama?"

Hearing no reply Kikyou turned around only to find Kurama was gone.

No not gone, he was still quite near. And with Yusuke and the rest of the cast, who were not at the moment pleased. But who would be after what had happened last night? It was faint from her position, but a argument was clearly starting.

With a determined face, Kikyou sprinted off in the direction of the main gate, where Kurama, was defending her.

While Kikyou was staring at the cave, Kurama turned around to see that the other members of their group had caught up to them. Determined to settle this with out Kikyou getting involved, Kurama left her to confront them. And now...

Well now things weren't going as planned. Usually he could convince them to go along with his plans. Or at least explain something with minor interruption.

But now was a different story.

"You must believe me. Kikyou would-"

"Slap us around like she did Botan? We can't trust her and I can't believe you're defending her! After what we saw?"

Kurama sighed. Only him and Yusuke were arguing. Hiei was just standing still and watching, probably waiting for Yusuke and Kurama to start really fighting. And Kuwabara was no where in sight, probably with Botan at the hospital. Luckily civilization wasn't too far away.

"You're crazy to defend her! What she did to Botan-"

Finally Kurama lost it. "What SHE did to Botan? Oh really Yusuke, since when did you give a shit about Botan anyway? Don't waste MY time, don't waste OUR time! This is still a mission, and it will be carried out whether or not one of us dies or is injured. We need Kikyou, were keeping Kikyou on our team, and were continuing the mission. If you don't like it you can leave!"

Yusuke, who was shocked by Kurama yelling, being sarcastic, and saying "shit", had nothing to say. And at this exact moment, Kikyou came forward and into their little group. Interrupting the "battle" that had been taking place.

Unsure of what to say because of what had happened, Kikyou just simply said: "Is everything all right?"

"Every thing's fine Kikyou." Kurama said quickly. It seemed that one thing had been accomplished, He had settled the current problem with out Kikyou hearing or being involved. Which was quite a blessing with what could happen to Yusuke with what was currently inside of Kikyou. No one needed to see a repeat of last night.

Kikyou nodded her head. Unconvinced that everything was "all right" or "fine". But determined not to drag this out any longer. The mission was important. As long as she kept her mind on that she would be fine. Kikyou looked around at the small group, with Yusuke still being in shock, Kurama still in full "possessive" mood, and Hiei not saying anything at all. When Hiei and Kikyou's eyes met each other, a knowing stare was passed between them and then quickly lost as Yusuke walked between the two to head for the cave.

Whatever Hiei knew or didn't know, at least he was going to keep it to himself. For the time being anyway.

* * *

_Somewhere close by:_

"You've gotten pretty far Kikyou..." Naraku whispered to himself. The pain from being defeated by her and her reincarnation was still fresh, even throughout all these years. Now though the pain of having a heart was finally gone. Leaving him to do as he saw fit.

The jewel reflected many things, mostly it reflected Kikyou and Midoriko. Midoriko was, as always, a shadow hovering just in back of Kikyou, always waiting and watching.

Naraku smiled, a feral grin that reflected off the jewel in his palm. "Feed off your anger and arise, show your successor your true might and the error of her ways. Midoriko, use her body as a means of punishment."

In the cave where the Shikon no Tama was born, the statues that remained as a testament to the time glowed with a dim, evil, violet light.

* * *

End of chapter. Yeah that's right. That's all you guys are getting, for now. Sorry it can't be longer, but I just realized that this story is ending soon. About three more chapters or so and that's it. So I wanted to cut this chapter in half so that A: I could make the story last, and, B: Because I haven't updated this in quite a LONG while. So I wanted to hurry up and get this out before the chapter dragged on to the point where it might never be posted. 

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I did. Though I'm not good with romance happening by the story is happening. I usually write it at the end. But I sort of like it happening while the story is happening, it give me something else to work on. Until now this story had been mainly focused around the romance of Kikyou and Kurama. Well now it's going to turn toward the history of the Shikon no Tama, Naraku's anger/revenge, and Midoriko and Kikyou's duty.

Now for authoress request time. Since this is my own fic I can spam, and spam is a good thing. I want all you loyal readers to go to my website La'nae's Lounge. Here's the that link If that doesn't work then go to my profile. For some reason I have a feeling that the link won't even show up since is kind of weird when it comes to links. Anyway, on the site you can read some rants, in the future see some fan fiction I didn't publish on here, and there's a link to my graphics website Bountiful Gifts. And a shoutbox, or as some would say, tag board. That and I really need visitors so you better go for my sake.

Thank you for reading. Look forward to the next chapter now that it's summer and my piano lessons are ending. So leave a review and vist my website. Or just leave a review. Or just visit my website. Which ever one is better for you. Thanks. :)


	12. Chapter 12

I've decided to try to make a new chapter of My Will thanks to reading some great fan fiction. I have to say that it's not everyday that I come across good fan fiction. To be honest, most a half baked plots that are either horrible, boring, used a lot, or sound childish and fangirl/boy like. It's hard for me to find a real gem among the piles of rocks in the fan fiction world. Because of this, or maybe before this, I consider fan fiction not to be a real form of literature. Don't get me wrong, it's entertaining and all that, but until the day you can write or think up a original, a good original, plot with your own characters then you can't really call yourself a writer or a author at all. You're just a imitation.

Maybe this opinion is too harsh, maybe it's just right. But as I said to a person on Media Miner long ago, I don't really give a rats ass what you think. I'm not saying it to be rude, in fact I'm also not saying this to be hurtful, I'm just being my REAL self. And if that real self is arrogant, prideful, and a little to rash, well that's okay. I'm happy with it. I wish most people could be happy and not write something because of other people. That's when you become a real writer I think. When you don't write for your fans. You should never make a plot or a chapter because other people want you to. Reviews and fans should be there to give you a push, not to force you. And, as it is, I care for my fans (if I have any) and my reviews and feel like they are friends. And as friends I won't lie to you. I won't give you bullshit or half of my abilities. No. I will give you the best I have. And if I'm not satisfied with it, I'll rewrite it and continue to rewrite it until I am. I'll wait for the right time to write, the right moment, and then I'll write. And when I lose that feeling I'll stop and wait for it to come back. If it takes a year, a month, a week, or even a day, then I'll wait.

And if you really want the ending, if you really like the story, if you really care then you'll wait to. And I'm glad to say that there are some good, some of the best damn fan fiction "authors" out there. They're the ones that push past the line of the ordinary or enhance that line to make a true diamond among the rubbish. And for them I say thank you. Thank you for writing some of the best fan fiction this site or any other has. Thank you, I only hope that someday I can write like that. I hope that someday maybe you can write like that too if you really want to.

Just like love, there is a thin line between the extraordinary and the ordinary. And someday I strive to leave this world of fan fiction and make my own extraordinary plots with my own characters. So that the rest of the world can see my true talent.

I won't bore you any more with this long authors note. I'll let you read. Don't mind my ramblings. Please enjoy the chapter, and if you haven't already, visit my website to look for more fan fiction. Well I haven't posted anything new yet but I will. :) And thank you all who reviewed the pervious chapters and thank you Cold Kikyou for reviewing chapter 11. I'm glad to know I haven't lost all my readers. So with that, on with the story.

My Will ch. 12

_The future continues on ward from one moment to the next. A continued spiral of loss, love, fellowship, and experience. All creatures feel it, and so, are truly alive..._

"Here we are," Kikyou said sadly. "The cave of creation." ()

Kurama looked ahead and past Kikyou to see a enormous opening in what must have been a mountain at one time. Whether man made or not, it took ones breath away at how deep and pitch black it was. Nothing of the contents of the cave could be seen and a strange aura seemed to surround it.

"Okay, so all we have to do is enter it right? If that's the case then lets go!" Yusuke said quickly and walked past Kikyou to the entrance in front of them.  
"No, Yusuke!-" Kikyou was too late, Yusuke "attempt" to enter the cave sent a jolt of electricity up his spine, stunning him and making his fall back.

"What was _that_?" Hiei asked. Not out of concern for Yusuke's current condition, just out of curiosity.

Kikyou shook her head. There would always be foolish heroes. Kikyou stepped toward Yusuke and helped him up, all the while saying: "_That_ was what I was about to tell you all about. The only way you can enter the cavern is if you feel pity toward Midoriko and the lost souls in and surrounding this place."

Before Kurama could stop himself, the words: "That's kind of selfish of Midoriko, isn't it?" spilled out of his mouth. Whether this was of his own will, his other half's will, or some one or something else's will, it still seemed odd.

At those words, for some strange reason, Kikyou felt a miss placed kind of hate for him. Who was he to say what was selfish? He hadn't been there at all! No he had been some place else!

At these feelings Kikyou bit her bottom lip and succeeded in stopping Midoriko's anger before it evolved. If this kept up who knows what will happen. Midoriko had to be silenced, and soon.

Kurama watched as Yusuke finally stood up and attempted again to pass through the entrance after saying a few rude words, at these Kikyou's eyes seemed to darken a bit more. Worried over Kikyou, Kurama stepped toward her. Before he could lay a hand on her Kikyou looked up at him and snarled out: "Don't touch me!"

Kurama, stunned at her unusual behavior took a step back, hurt at her words. The others watched on with interest as Kikyou shook her head and tried to come up with a explanation, then stopped and walked through the cave instead. An explanation would have to wait until this was all over.

'I'm sorry, Kurama. Really I am. But for now things are just going to have to stay like this.' Thought Kikyou as she sensed that everyone else slowly followed behind her.

* * *

Night fell swift and cool upon the forest outside of the Demon Slayers village. Kuwabara had managed to catch a ride with a couple that had been heading for a main city near by from the hospital. On the way, and at the beginning, the couple had asked him where he was heading. Kuwabara had kept his mouth shut, it wasn't any of there business, and though he did feel a urge to yell: "I'm on my way to stop a possessed priestess before she can kill my friends, thank you very much!" Kuwabara managed not to scream. 

Now it seemed that they should have never even trusted her. But Botan was right, it wasn't HER fault. And though it really was Midoriko's and Naraku's, you couldn't blame the spirit priestess or Naraku either. It was fate, plan and simple.

"Fuck fate..."Kuwabara mumbled under his breath. Fate had been VERY unkind to him in his life. Words like "destiny", "fate", or "the right path". Seemed as damaging as an old curse. When had a simple, "save the world from another psychotic and pissed off demon" turn into "save the world from a now human and possessed priestess , oh and the demon too!".

The driver, the man with the annoying Hawaiian shirt, seemed to hear part of what he said and turned to look over his shoulder, confusion evident across his face. Kuwabara looked up and faked a smile, saying a little harshly: "Watch the road please."

'Soon, just a couple more miles and I'll be there. Damn, I wish I had that broom of Botan's or hadn't wasted so much time!'

That time wasted had been spent on thinking up two plans. One if things went wrong, and one if they went right. That and making sure the "boss" was updated.

"_If you get there in time and chant this spell I gave you, this should make Midoriko and Kikyou split from each other and Midoriko return to the Shikon no Tama. But if Midoriko is awakened before that..._

_Kuwabara stared at Botan as she wrung her hands, trying to say what she wanted to say. What she had on her mind wasn't easy to voice. But finally she was able._

"_If that fails, if Kikyou's will grows to weak, then you have to kill Kikyou."_

_Kuwabara sat up in his chair, knocking it backwards. "You want me to kill Kikyou?"_

_Botan looked up, her eyes watery and full of emotion. "I know this is...hard...But you and everyone else has to do it! Midoriko using Kikyou's body is almost as bad as Naraku using both Kurama and Kikyou's bodies. Midoriko is full of rage, whether this rage came to life suddenly because of Naraku handling the jewel or Kikyou realizing her powers or came slowly over time. This rage will destroy everything. This rage will eventually destroy Kikyou if Midoriko tries to take back the jewel. If you're too late-"_

'I'll kill Kikyou. But only IF I'm not too late. I pray I'm not...' With those thoughts burning with in him, Kuwabara turned to look out the side window and into the light of the full moon.

* * *

In another place, quite close to the village Kuwabara was heading to, Sesshoumaru surveyed the land from atop a hill that used to be used for a look out to watch for demons. 

How many years HAD it been? Sesshoumaru had lost count, some where between carrying Rin away from Kikyou's body and marrying her he had lost count. But one forced counted...

Time. Persistent as always. Time had made the land owned by demons in the North, South, and East fall. Sesshoumaru's land had only reminded because dog demons could blend in quite well with humans. To humans he was just a business man with a large land deed. But that wouldn't last for long. Already his people had forgotten their old ways. The old ways were vanishing and old morals with it.

Once Sesshoumaru had hated humans, and then Rin and Kikyou came along and changed things.

"Sesshoumaru? What's wrong?"

Sesshoumaru turned around at the voice that came from behind him. Rin stood looking at him, her chestnut eyes darkened with worry for him, and maybe Kikyou as well. After all, Rin had showed more affection toward her then Sesshoumaru.

"Nothing."

Rin frowned, even after all these years he could still shut her out. And even after all these years she still sometimes felt like a little girl that was always trying to catch up to him with little success. But no more. Clenching her hands into fists at her sides, Rin looked down and raised her voice slightly, though not enough to wake their daughter: "Don't shut me out. We're in this together now. It's Kikyou you're worried about isn't. Even after all these years-"

"Is that a hint of jealousy I detect in your voice?" Sesshoumaru, who over the years had grown a small sense of humor, teased.

Rin blushed slightly and tried to deny his accusations. "No. Not jealousy, I just know you too well. You used to care about Kikyou too. Didn't you?"

Sesshoumaru sighed, she still had that annoying habit of being able to read him to well sometimes. "Yes. I cared for her a long time ago. But that was a different time. I care for you now."

Rin smiled. That was as close as he was going to get to "I love you". "But you also still care for Kikyou."

"I'm just worried about her. That fox demon she's with probably can't see it yet. Foxes were always good at tricks, but not good at seeing through illusions that are right in front of them."

"Fox demon? You mean that red head man Kikyou was with?" Rin asked with a hint of confusion seeping into her voice. She wasn't able to sense anything, even though she had a long life she still wasn't a demon or a priestess.

Sesshoumaru turned toward her and attempted to smile. But like his regular efforts at trying to smile, it failed. Or maybe it failed because of how he felt now. "Yes, he was a demon. And Kikyou isn't in her right mind frame. Somethings taken a hold of her."

Rin's eyes grew big with fright. After finding Kikyou again it seemed like she and Kikyou could start over again, but now..."You mean that Kikyou-"

Sesshoumaru interrupted her and said a little coldly: "She won't die."

This made Rin's eyes widen with surprise. That tone of voice, sounding so much like his old self. Was he that confident that Kikyou wouldn't die again? "How...how...how do you know? How do you KNOW!" With that Rin burst into tears. Wounds had been reopened. One hundred year wounds. She hadn't cried this hard since Kikyou had died. Kikyou was a friend, a mother figure, and her and Sesshoumaru were her whole world. When Kikyou had died a part of Rin had died with it.

Sesshoumaru embraced Rin, trying to comfort her. He knew telling her would hurt her, yet it seemed the right thing to do. Last time, when he had known what was going to Kikyou he had done nothing. And Kikyou had died and Rin had blamed him for some time and things seemed to have sank into a black hole of morning and screaming at each other. Fate was cruel and destiny unkind. "I'm sorry." Was really the only thing that he could say to her.

Rin looked up at him and said through her tears, a accusing note in her voice. "Are you really? Why aren't you helping Kikyou now?"

"Because she must face this alone. This is her path. No one else's. If I had told her, if I had told her instead of keeping quite like several hundred years ago-"

"Sesshoumaru..."

"Let me finish." Sesshoumaru said and then continued. "If I had told her then and now would it had changed anything? Maybe so and maybe not. But we grow by experience. If Kikyou, me, and you had simply been told all our lives of the right path to take and what's in store once we take that path, if no one that we loved had died, if no one that we cared about had betrayed or left us alone, if no one had done anything cruel or kind for us, would we be standing here today?"

There was a grim sort of knowledge to Sesshoumaru's words. A wisdom grown from years of watching and learning the truth of the world. Rin could only nod her head in the presence of such knowledge and deal with the pain that was tearing through her heart. And pray that Sesshoumaru was right, that Kikyou would be all right.

'Come back to me Kikyou...Come back alright.'

* * *

In the cave of creation, things seemed to be going too slow for the group. () 

It seemed like they had been walking for hours through the dark cavern. And, as Yusuke checked his watch, they had indeed been walking for hours.

"How much further? We've been walking forever!"

Kikyou glanced back at Yusuke, but just like everything else, but she couldn't see him. "We should have been there long ago. I don't understand it, it's almost as if the cave has taken on a life of it's own." And maybe it has. In the back of Kikyou's mind, a dream replayed itself. But when she had dreamed it and what it was about seemed lost to her. But it seemed that the dream didn't have a happy ending.

A warm hand reached out of the darkness and grabbed Kikyou's right hand. Kikyou gasped and turned blindly to the right to see who it was. The hand gave her's a comforting squeeze and Kikyou smiled nervously with relief. And even though she couldn't see it, Kurama smiled as well.

Though something still wasn't right. In the back of her mind a similar yet completely different scene had happened between them. But it was only a dream, a dream that could only show one path that was possible.

Suddenly a stunning light washed over them all and forced them all to close their eyes. When the light had grown at least manageable and their eyes had grown accustomed to it, they could see that they had all finally reached their destination. How and why were something no one dared to ask. After all the weird things that had happened it would have been pointless to ask.

The room they now stood in was bathed in a light that seemed to radiate from the stone walls themselves. Through the room was enormous the statue that graced the far end of it took up much of the room. The statue was really the earthly remains of what appeared to be several demons and a large dragon demon wrapped around a human priestess/general, Midoriko.

"This is the place right? Now what priestess?" Hiei asked harshly of Kikyou. Kikyou just merely stared at the tomb with her hands over her heart. It seemed to feel familiar some how.

Kurama saw Kikyou's far away look and commented on it. "Kikyou? Are you all right?"

"I've been here before...No not me. What's inside of me has..." Kikyou said to herself with out answering Kurama's question. Kurama frowned and repeated her name once again.

"_Betrayal..."_

A pain, like someone stabbing her, gripped Kikyou and she sank to her knees. Eyes wide as a monotone voice, Midoriko's voice, started chanting in her head.

"_Anger..."_

Far away, no not too far away, Kuwabara, one of her teammates, was getting out of a old and battered tan car and heading toward them. His intent was to stop this, to stop her. How Kikyou knew this she didn't know.

Nearer still was the Lord of the West. He stood watching the town and cavern below. Knowing that she was already starting to lose.

And farther away was Inuyasha. Some how he knew too. And closer, much closer...

"_Sadness..."_

Kurama was much closer. Kurama was what stood in the way. Kurama was what need to needed to be dealt with. Him and his promises of love and peace. Love between a demon and priestess? Never!

"_Awaken your old feelings, feelings that you and me share! Let me out."_

Kurama felt something stir and change around Kikyou. It was like she had suddenly became a different person. Unsure of if his senses was telling the truth or if it was the place they were in. Kurama hesitantly called out her name: "Kik...you?"  
_"Let me out...Let me out...LET ME OUT!"_

Kikyou trembled for a few seconds, hands flying to her face in a vain attempt to try to keep Midoriko back. And then Kikyou was still. At the sound of Kikyou's name being called again by Kurama. Kikyou turned around to give him a unfamiliar evil smile.

"Kikyou's gone away for a little while. You're stuck with me. And I want to end our contract."

* * *

Yes, this is the end of the chapter. Sorry if it was a little short. And yes I fooled you again. It seems that the battle will be next time. Oh and did any one have a feeling of deja vu at the end? What Kikyou said and what happened, including the dream part, was almost the same as what lead up to Kurama being controlled by Naraku. I guess this isn't called My Will for nothing. 

If this keeps up the last chapters will all be out by the end of next week. If I work on a chapter a day sooner. I know this seems so short. But the end IS coming.

I think this chapter really just dealt with everyone's feelings toward what was happening so far. I stuck with the regular Kikyou and Kurama thing and then I stretched and did Kuwabara and Sesshoumaru. Which is always hard since it always seems I'm messing up him, and Kikyou at some points, character. But in a good way. I think in the end it doesn't matter how ooc a character was as long as the story and the chapter is good. And as long as the character isn't too ooc. Making Sesshoumaru burst into tears and do the chicken dance is a fine example for what too ooc is. Through that would be good in a comedy story. But that's another story. Literally.

Oh and another thing. All of those "()" marks were to inform you that I really don't know what that cave is called. Now days, due to lack of interest and my ears saying "turn the tv off so we won't have to listen to Inuyasha's name being called continously", and because I like to watch other more interesting things, my Inuyasha knowledge has went down. So I renamed the cave and turned Midoriko into a bitch. Through she's not really, she's just been turned that way because of years of having to repeat what happened to her.

Please leave a review and visit my site. I know spamming is bad. But I'm spamming only at the end and the beginning so you can't complain. That and I'm Internet shy when it comes to things not dealing with writing. So yeah...Whatever just review will ya?


	13. Chapter 13

Well here it is, the second to the last chapter (or third to the last chapter), of My Will. Before I start, I would like to thank Cold Kikyou for reviewing the last chapter and Jessica for emailing me. This time I would also like to thank the people that are reading this story, even if they aren't reviewing. Oh and I would also like to thank the rest of the readers and reviewers as well. Thanks you guys. :)

Oh and I noticed a mistake in the last chapter, Botan doesn't have a broom, it's some kind of paddle. Sorry you guys, but I haven't watched the anime in a long time. Sorry. That and several chapters need to be checked for spelling and content. I'll probably do that after My Will is officially over. Through when I do check it for spelling and content I might add a side story. I'll let you guys know.

* * *

My Will ch.13

_Those that have never felt sadness, pain or loss can not truly say that they are living. Those that are stuck on the past, never looking toward the future, are always lost..._

* * *

"Kikyou's gone away for a little while. You're stuck with me. And I want to end our contract."

Kurama heard these words, but couldn't comprehend them. The voice, the face, part of that aura, was still Kikyou's but something was different. It was like there was someone else inside of her. Some cold and uncaring person that could only feel malice.

"What are you talking about Kikyou? What contract?" Kurama asked. Unsure if Kikyou was playing a game with him or had actually lost it. Something in her eyes seemed to tell him this was no game. This was real and suddenly he knew exactly what she felt when he had been controlled by Naraku.

" "What contract?" Well I guess SHE didn't tell you about that now did she? Neither did that meddling bitch from earlier."

Behind the both of them Yusuke and Hiei had already taken up their weapons. Either from anger or from something that they saw that Kurama himself didn't.

Kikyou's smile grew larger and she continued: "Well let me be the first to tell you, if it hadn't been for me you would most likely be six feet under. Not like I would care, but this," Kikyou raised a hand up to her chest and laid the hand over her heart. "this body would care. And of course Kikyou would as well. But I'm a different story, all I want is for Naraku to die, Kikyou to take up her duties, and for nothing to stand in the way of my peace and happiness. And right now, darling, you're standing in my way."

Kurama took a step back. Kikyou really wasn't, well, Kikyou at the moment. If so then who was she? And did what she just say true? Did Kikyou really make a contract with this entity for his life. And did Botan know but kept the knowledge from him? It was all starting to make since. Him and Kikyou's miraculous recovery, Kikyou not wanting to see him, even the reasons (reason which he had never bothered to ask about) for Kikyou to fight with Botan. Everything.

"Who are you, and what have you done to Kikyou?" Kurama asked with a slight note of emotion pain striking the word Kikyou and turning it into something else. It wasn't so much as a question as a statement, a evidence of words about the real painful truth.

Which was that Kikyou had gambled for his life and lost. And it was all his fault. If he had only been a little stronger, only hadn't been so love struck and stupid maybe he could have changed things.

Kikyou's, or whoever was controlling her body, face showed a mock distress at his words, then she laughed. A alien high pitched voice almost like nails against a chalk board. "Who else could I be, but your darling Kikyou, lover?"

"You're NOT Kikyou! Stop talking like her!" This time the note of pain had mingled with a sympathy of panic. The more she talked, the more the thorn in his heart seemed to grow.

From Kurama's words Midoriko stopped the games and took out Kikyou's bow, raising it up to be level with Kurama's chest. Kurama, at the sight of this didn't move to stop her, but just stood his ground thinking that maybe it would be better this way. Better to just go together, unless there was a way to get Kikyou back.

"You're a brave demon, I'll give you that. But this is not a toy, neither is it a joke anymore. I'll really put out your misery unless you decide to be a good fox and start running for the dog."

"I'm not moving till you tell me what you've done with Kikyou." Kurama countered, making Midoriko narrow her eyes.

"Fine, if you want to know so bad you can find out when you meet your lover in hell!" With that Midoriko attempted to shoot Kurama. It seemed that Kikyou's arms wouldn't obey her commands.

Seeing that something was wrong, Kurama took the time to back up and reach for his rose whip. There might just be a way to stop her.

"Something the matter?" Kurama said in a teasing tone. 'Making her angry might make her let down her guard...'

"Damn you!" Was the only insult she could spit out at the moment. Midoriko shook her head and attempted to shoot Kurama once again only to be stopped by her arms once again, they were not moving.

'What's going on?' She questioned herself only to be answered by an unlikely source.

"_Did you think I would just stand idly by why you destroyed my happiness?"_

Midoriko's eyes widened as she realized she hadn't completely gotten rid of Kikyou. Her soul still remained. How was it that that was even possible, her own powers were suppose to surpass Kikyou's! Or maybe Kikyou's now surpassed Midoriko.

"_I won't let you hurt those I love just because you're bitter. I know what you're going though, I was the same way a long time ago, but now is the time to let that anger go."_

"Never, I won't let my feelings go! Don't preach to me about letting anything go!" Midoriko said out loud as she felt her, Kikyou's, body stiffen up. Nothing was in her command anymore.

"_I'm sorry for your pain, but this ends now."_

* * *

Botan tilted her head up to look at the moon through the window in her hospital room. Her injures seemed to be healing up nicely, even though there was still minor discomfort, and she would be back on the job soon.

"Soon...But will Kikyou still be there. Or Kurama for that matter."

Some part of her was still a little angry and jealous of Kurama and Kikyou's relationship. Maybe that's why she watched over it so carefully. Who ever said "If you love someone, set them free" was half way correct. She did, at one time, "love" Kurama and she had indeed let him go. But he wasn't completely gone out of her heart. Even now she was more worried about Kurama then the others. Even Yusuke. But it wasn't real love, not the love that him and Kikyou shared.  
That love, real love, had started even before they meet each other for the third time. After all, Kikyou was a priestess in the feudal era and Kurama is a demon. Before he "died" and was reborn he might have met Kikyou. There was a slim chance of that happening. But even if it didn't true love most likely started even before you met the person. Even before you knew you were looking you were. And Kurama had been looking.  
If she counted back from her old "stalk the fox" days, he had one or two girlfriends in high school and maybe even one or two more since she stopped counting a year back because it got to depressing.

But what was it that she had liked about Kurama? His body, just like almost every other girl who had lived and died and saw Kurama at least one. Demon or human, he was still quite a catch.

And then there was his mind. He seemed to be even more of a leader then Yusuke sometimes and probably could be the leader all the time if he wanted to. There was just this vibe to Kurama which spoke of wisdom beyond years.

But all that, that wasn't enough to love a person. Love took time. More time then she had spent with him. And even if she did have time, a thousand years worth, he would always be thinking about someone else.

Botan's eyes seemed to grow faint with memory and dark with worry, longing, and guilt for having sent Kuwabara to destroy the previous object of her affections object of affection. The time she was looking back into was not to long ago, but just long enough to have been way before this mission had started. This was during one of the rare times when the both of them had been alone with only the two of them to keep each other company. Somehow or the other the subject had came upon dreams and after Botan had told her funny dream which involved a cow and a horse (a dream which now even Botan couldn't really remember) Kurama had stopped by a old oak tree over grown with vines and small red (not white, purple, or blue) flowers growing around it.

"_Something wrong?" Botan asked hesitantly as Kurama ran his right hand over the trees length, letting his fingers run lightly across the vine and flowers springing from it. The look in his eyes were dark and thoughtful. A very far away look that made him almost seem to look his age and his eyes to be a rich forest green._

"_Nothing really, it's just that..."_

"_Yes?" Botan asked cautiously. It was rare for him to stumble over his words or trail off. Maybe this would be the big moment when he would proclaim his lover for her._

_Kurama looked up, letting their eyes connect. Blue against Green, a stare that seemed to mean much bigger things then fantasy emotions. Botan gasped for some reason (even now Botan didn't know why, maybe it was that his look had just been to intense for her)._

_Kurama went on like she had never said anything. "I was remembering a dream from long ago. When I was a child."_

"_A dream from long ago? How is it possible to remember something from several centuries ago?" Botan said jokingly, hoping that this would get rid of some of the uncomfortable tension in the air._

"_Not that long ago, no it was back when I was still just a child in this body and in this age." Kurama looked up at the trees canopy over head, his hand never left the tree. "I was remembering when I had became lost, separated from my mother and quite afraid that I would be lost in those woods forever."_

_'How awful.' Botan thought but didn't say out loud, to afraid that if she said anything this moment would get interrupted by him realizing that he was talking about personal issues with a complete stranger. But wasn't that just what she wanted?_

"_It's impossible for one to remember completely the exact feelings they had in the heat of the moment. But I do remember...someone. Someones singing, light yet very strong. Beautiful yet very sad also. A sadness that can't be expressed or held back by mere words. A woman singing about something I've forgotten. But that singing must have been what made me calm down enough to fall asleep. And when I woke up my mother found me. That's all I remember."_

_Finally Botan spoke: "Do you remember who the woman was?" This was spoken with a slight hesitation, all through Kurama's speech it seemed like he himself was dreaming his voice had taken on a even more faraway tone then his eyes._

_Kurama looked away from the tree and at her again finally. His eyes very far away and very dark, his voice equally dark and faraway. There seemed to be a slight tone of irony in his voice: "That's just it, it was all a dream. I didn't even see her face, but wouldn't it be nice if she was really real? Maybe then I could ask her to sing for me again. Sometimes I wish I could dream that dream again, even if that meant I would become lost."_

_Kurama sighed and walked past Botan. "Sorry, lets continue walking shall we?"_

_And just like that the moment was gone, and just like that she gave up trying to get his love. _

_How could you compete with a dream woman who held his heart so surely and completely. Even she wasn't real, the way he talked about her was more then just unsettling._

_It was moving._

"And I've never tried since. But, Kikyou, if you die then I still won't have a chance. Kurama, all of him, will die with you too. Even if he lives. You're the only woman who I'll allow him to be with. Please don't give in. I'm sorry."

The last bit was said more for the order that she had given to Kuwabara and more for the memory that might be tainted and lost of a love that never was.

* * *

Kuwabara stumbled in the dark and tripped. Any creatures near him either scattered away or looked up curiously in the direction of the sound. Muttering a curse and spitting out dirt. Kuwabara sat up and brushed the dirt off of his pants.

With minimal concentration his spirit sword appeared and in the light from it his grim face could be seen.

"Just a little longer..."

* * *

Somewhere in the dark, far past even a heaven or hell or any known realm, Kikyou had lied suspended. A lost soul clinging on to something that had been drowned out in the darkness.  
Was it a memory of a childish, yet strangely adult face?

Emerald eyes that looked into hers tenderly?

The private and forbidden touch of someone needed?

A distant memory?

Even in this darkness, words with such deep meaning. Words of pain and desperation from someone that linger more in her heart than her memories. A strong and powerful voice bringing her back.

What he wasn't saying, what his heart and soul was saying was more powerful than anything.

'I remember, I remember him. So I can't be a lost soul. I can't be dead either.'

Light, endless golden light and the flash of a coin embedded deep within her. A coin that now had a bow and a fox engraved on it.

And suddenly she was back. And fighting herself.

Kikyou's right hand fell over her left. Preventing her from shooting Kurama. "I can't let you do what you want anymore. I'm thankful for you letting me and Kurama live, but this is going to far."

Kikyou shook her head and suddenly Midoriko's voice was coming out of her. "Don't you see, if we allow him to live then it will happen all over again. He'll betray you and leave you just like Inuyasha."

For one moment Kikyou doubted, but the image of the coin kept coming back to her. The coin that seemed to have changed once again. "He won't, because me and him are connected. Not all demons are the same. Even if I believed so at one time."

Midoriko screamed inside Kikyou's head, a scream full of pain, anger and desperation. A scream so loud it brought Kikyou to her knees. It seemed to go on forever but faded away when Kurama's arms wrapped around her shoulders. She hadn't even noticed him coming toward her. Kikyou turned around in his arms and buried her head in his chest, letting herself feel safe and better for awhile.

It wasn't over, she wouldn't give up this easily. Kikyou looked up at Kurama's relieved face. Before she could say anything he conveyed his feelings.

"I thought I had almost lost you..." His voice seemed heavy with relief and emotion. Just looking at him made Kikyou start to feel guilty for all she had put him through.

"You didn't lose me, you'll never lose me. Remember that."

"I-"

"Don't say it." Kikyou interrupted, closing her eyes and seeing Midoriko's image behind her eyes lids. Even now she was gaining power. "In the darkness...when my soul was lost. I saw a image of you and me. On the coin of my soul. So you see, you can never lose me. Whatever the future holds, whether I die or you die or we both die, we'll always be together. It's corny, I know. But it's what I want to say before I put you to sleep for a little while."

"What do you mean, sleep?" Kurama asked. Kikyou smiled, an old smile that Kurama loved. Before he could get another word in she leaned up, slipped one hand behind his head and brought his head down to meet her lips. A feeling of slight electricity followed by a unbreakable drowsiness followed in.

'Oh, so this is what she meant...' Kurama thought to himself before falling into a deep sleep that was in some ways like the sleep Inuyasha had feel into.

Kikyou looked at his sleeping form and cradled his head in her lap. He really was a dream come true, and that was why he had to stay out of this. This fight, this was one fight she had to do alone.

With one final touch, which consisted of her brushing his hair out of his face, Kikyou stood up and looked toward Hiei and Yusuke. It seemed that Midoriko had been smart enough to install a barrier before taking over her body. That was good. It would make things much more easier.

By picking up her bow and arrows, Kikyou looked toward the remains of Midoriko and the battle from long ago.

Midoriko had transferred her energy from Kikyou's body to what remained of hers. Her remains broke free from the demon remains around her and changed until they were more life like and until they looked like Kikyou herself.

Like Kikyou from a thousand years ago. When she was more Midoriko's pawn then she was now. When she was more the villagers pawn and Inuyasha's as well.

"What a dirty and old trick to play. I thought you hated Naraku."

"I do." Midoriko replied. "But he has certain ways of dealing with people. Can you fight yourself, Priestess of the Shikon-"

"Don't start with that crap. I am what I am. And a priestess is just part of it." Kikyou narrowed her eyes. It was enough to see her own self, but did she have to talk like her too? This was going to be more difficult then she thought.

Midoriko produced a bow and arrow set of her own. "I can see this is bothering you. It's bothering me too. To have what I want so close to my grasp and then slip away..." Her eyes grew hazy with remembrance, remembering perhaps what it's like inside the Shikon no Tama. Then they grew sharp again. "I won't go back. And I won't have you ignore your duties any longer!"

No more words needed to be said as the two woman, one changed with love and one with hatred yet the both of them both the same in mind and at one time spirit, raised their weapons.

* * *

Kuwabara saw a light ahead and ran toward it. Unfortunately, he ended up falling short as he rain into Yusuke and the two ended up falling like a pair of dominoes.

"What the fuck are you- Hey, it's Kuwabara, what kept you?" Yusuke growled out.

Kuwabara looked at the scene ahead, it seemed he was too late. But in a way he was glad. At least Kikyou would fight this battle and he wouldn't have to fight her. His eyes picked out a familiar shade of red hair and turned to stare at Kurama's fallen body.

"Did he-"

"No, he's just sleeping." Hiei interrupted. "It seems that Kikyou has a few tricks up her sleeves. But even I would find it hard to fight against myself."

"Dammit!" Yusuke pounded his fist against the rock wall. "If only we were in there. Stupid force field!"

"And if we were in there? We would just be in the way like Kurama was. It seems the only action we'll get to experience is Naraku. If we ever get to him and if we even get to fight him." Hiei commented.

"Well whether we fight or not, I'm just glad to not have to do as Botan said and..." Kuwabara tailed off as he realized he said something he shouldn't have.

"Botan said what?"

"Forget it Yusuke, just forget it."

* * *

Kikyou let her arrow go a little to late and barely had time to jump back before the arrow hit where she had been standing. Thankfully it was well away from Kurama who was still on his back sleeping like the male version of Sleeping Beauty.

Midoriko jumped down from her former resting place and fired a rapid session of arrows, all the while keeping her annoying habit of teasing. "I'm as good, if not better, than you. I know all your moves, why not just give up. I'll make your lover die painlessly. Maybe even try him out first."

Kikyou reddened with anger, but said nothing. This talk of hers was just trying to get her to mess up, she couldn't afford to get angry. Notching a arrow in her bow Kikyou aimed by running in a zigged zagged pattern toward Midoriko who kept shooting just a inch away from her heels.

"Come on, be different and a little talkative for once. I know this is just killing you. Besides, what's a few jokes between friends. But I am serious Kikyou, if you give up now it won't be so painful for you and him. I'll even give him the luxury of thinking I'm you. Maybe even a last embrace. And we know how good last nights was don't we?"

Kikyou, who would rather keep her and Kurama's love life a secret, stopped suddenly and fired at Midoriko's head without a moments hesitation. Midoriko, thrown off by her sudden stop, fired by the shot only grazed her cheek.

"Don't play games with me, or him. We're serious." Kikyou said in a no-nonsense flat voice.

"So you fight as a couple now, even when one's sleeping? How fairy tale like. But like all tales, this one has to end!" Midoriko threw out her hand and a seemingly invisible blast of power flew out and slammed Kikyou against the wall.

Kikyou gritted her teeth and tried to think up a plan as Midoriko advanced toward her. "Everything you can do, I can do better. You have the power of transferring your energy into inanimate and living things and charging them with energy, purifying them, or making a shield out of them. Or even holding them back, like what you did to that lake near your home town. You remember that seen with your demon lover, don't you?"

Kikyou shouted out: "He has a name, it's Kurama! And he's NOT just a demon. Don't turn our love around just because your's went sour. It's not my fault if you couldn't keep a man, maybe under that armor you're nothing but empty unappetizing flesh."

Midoriko, who previously had the upper hand at taunting, squeezed her hand into a fist. Kikyou cried out, getting your ribs broken a second time wasn't the greatest of experiences.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," Midoriko said softly with out the teasing tone in her voice. "what we had is something no one will ever understand. Not even you, my successor. I had such high hopes for you, but you went down the wrong path. If there's anything I've learned it's that love is weak. It sounds good on paper and coming from the mouths of woman and men that have never experienced it, but in reality it's not all roses and chocolates. There's pain, hurt, anger, and even resentment. It's a weak fragile thing that is almost never found, if ever. What you have now may be nothing more than lust and dreams that will never come true."

Kikyou spat out a mouth full of blood and grinned. "Maybe, but maybe that's enough to keep fighting for. Rose Whip!"

"Wha-" That was all Midoriko managed to spit out before a thorned vine slapped her across the face. Midoriko spat her own blood this time and stared in growing horror at where Kurama lay.

Midoriko was right, Kikyou did have the power animating living things. Including the various plant seeds and Kurama's famous "Rose Whip". And it helped to have a bond of body and soul with him as well.

Kurama, who was still sleeping much to Midoriko's horror, currently was surrounded by the very much alive whip that he used. The vines movings restlessly around him and now around Kikyou. The end of the whip came to her out stretched hand and Kikyou used it to grip Midoriko in a hold much like the one she had on her.

"How does it feel to have your ribs crushed, bitch?"

"How...How were you able to do this?"

Kikyou smiled evilly. "Call it the "power of love" if you like. But more realistically, Kurama's whip is a living thing. And even if it wasn't, all it has to be is plant like in order for me to use it. Don't forget, a tree is a plant too. And my bow is made out of wood. Simple math, successor gets a A+ for studying."

Midoriko narrowed her eyes. "This still doesn't mean you-"

"It's over," Kikyou said emotionlessly. "did you forget, I said wood. That includes your bow."

Sure enough, Midoriko and Kikyou's bow was pointing at her head, not to mention that Kurama's whip was strangling the life out of her.

"I didn't want it to come to this, I understand how you feel." Kikyou said sympathetically.

"Do you?" Midoriko asked, tears coming to her eyes. "How can anyone possibly know what it feels to relive the same moment over and over? To feel the same pain over and over? To see the people that had a chance to save you throw it all away?"

"I'm not throwing it all away," Kikyou replied. Midoriko had loosened her hold on her and now Kikyou stepped toward her and gave her a awkward embrace. Awkward because in some ways she was embracing her self. Complete with her former emotions and face. "And I do understand. You are me, I am you."

Midoriko burst out into tears and Kikyou felt like crying herself. Is this what she would have become if Inuyasha had continued to let her live? Maybe he did her a favor, with out him she most certainly wouldn't have met Kurama.

"Don't you remember when you fell in love?" Kikyou asked suddenly, wanting to put her spirit to rest with a happy memory in order to hasten her journey.

Midoriko nodded. "Yes, it was a spring day if I remember correctly. We were both so young back then, and so shy. Hehe, I can still see him rubbing the back of his head with a sly smile on his face, blush reaching past his ears, he had just tripped and dropped the bouquet of flowers he had for me in the river..."

Kikyou closed her eyes, she could see it. Midoriko's soul and her memories. As clear as day.

_Midoriko, a much younger and less twisted Midoriko stepped toward the handsome young man in front of her. _

"_I'm sorry about the flowers." The young man said with a deep, yet very embarrassed sounding voice. _

"_That's okay" Midoriko smiled. A dazing smile that seemed to the direct opposite of the one Kikyou had previously seen. This Midoriko was very different indeed. This one was not tainted by the Shikon no Tama. It had yet to be invented in her heart. "I like you better with out flowers."_

_Midoriko reached out and grasped her hand in his. "Let's go out by the other side of the river and watch the boats together. Then maybe we can go and see the Cheery blossoms."_

_The young man smiled. A handsome smile to match Midoriko's. "Sure, I had been waiting forever to hear you say that."_

In the present, Midoriko slowly crumbled away as Kikyou continued holding her. Smiling through her tears, that memory would surely carry on to her next life. Surely. Maybe her love was still waiting. She could believe that if she wanted to.

Kikyou put her powers to rest and took down the barrier before falling into a deep sleep to match her lovers.

* * *

_Those that can move on, see into the future and look back at the past as just another stone toward a ending unseen, can always move on. No matter who or what they are. Even if they aren't living, even if they aren't human any longer. _

_So let's look toward the present, wave at the past, and walk toward the future._

* * *

_(End)_

Yep, it's finally over. This chapter that is. I hope you guys all enjoyed it. You better! I missed part of Prison Break, missed playing City of Heroes, and worried myself to death about how I was going to finish the chapter.

Can't say to much other than "review please" because I have to get some sleep. Thanks for reading.


	14. Chapter 14

**My Will:**

_Chapters 14 & 15: _

Final Chapters

**Author's Note:** I thought I would give everyone a awesome, and long waited for, Christmas present by finishing "My Will". I hope you all enjoy the fruit of my labor. I know the chapter's haven't always been good, the plot sagged in the middle, and Sesshoumaru singing was just plain wrong, but for those that have sticked with this and read all of it: Thank you, thank you all for your wonderful support.

(note: for my own reasons and to accommodated rules, only the song title of the first ending of "Inuyasha" is used. The rest of the lyrics used in this are purely my own, inspired by my imagination and by the original song.

Chapter 14: Our Requiem

"Why do you remain here?"

Kurama opened his eyes. The field was different this time, it was devoid of flowers and covered in a thick layer of snow. The tree, their tree, had withered away. It was night this time, not day. And the little girl that he met before was no where in site. The pain that he had felt, the battle, that all seemed to be washed away. The only thing left was this raw feeling, a feeling he couldn't place.

"Why are you here? Why do you remain here?"

The voices, there were two which he could make out but both were speaking at the same time, seemed to be everywhere and no where. Kurama tried to lift himself off the ground, resisting the urge to go back to sleep. Somehow this place seemed to be two places at one. Past and present, his human past and demon past, seemed to merge and then separate.

Kurama accomplished his goal only to find out that the background hadn't just changed, so had he. His human body had been replaced with his demon one.

"What's the meaning of this, you've asked me this question before?" Kurama shouted out into the chilly atmosphere of the dream world he was in. Something, too fast for even his eyes to see, seemed to be dancing around him. A black and white blur that seemed to either be fighting, or making a ring around him.

The blur stopped moving, the world was still and Kurama stared at...

Nothing at all. And suddenly he realized it, why he had kept himself from really getting to know anyone, why his own self-doubts continually got in the way, and why Kikyou and him got closer only to have their love challenged again and again.

Nothing. That was the answer. Nothing was preventing them incept past fears.

"I'm afraid of hurting other's because of love, and Kikyou's afraid to love because of the past. Nothing had been preventing us from doing anything, incept us."

When he had left her in the part long ago.

When Naraku had controlled him he had given in, not just because of the power of the Shikon no Tama which manipulated hearts, but because of his own fear.

All those moments he had alone with Kikyou that were wasted.

And of course when the both of them refused to publicly announce their relationship. All this time they had been hiding behind reasons without even knowing it. Like their race, or the time they actually spent with each other. Midoriko actually seemed to have helped rather than hurt their relationship by revealing what was already there.

That was the point of all these dreams. Even the one's where they were against each other.

"Why do you remain here? Why are you here?"

Kurama turned toward their tree, the tree him and Kikyou had met by. The tree that had rotted by the harsh treatment of the ages, but by it's own will and time it had managed to sprout new growth. Dying from the past, yet living by the present. Holding on without letting go of anything.

_This is our promise... Out Will, our song, our destiny._

"_It will be our secret song..."_ She had told him that, and he had managed to remember because their was nothing standing in the way of him forgetting her this time. Even after this mission he would continue to remember.

"I stay because it's My Will to stay with her. And I feel it's hers as well. That's why I stay in her heart when other's have left."

"Because you won't let her go, even though your fears could come true?" The voices whispered.

"Yes.," Kurama let his hand trail across the now restored tree. He looked up into it's branches and at the cloudy nighttime sky. "I believe I can change. Just as I believe she'll being able to change. We have to get to know each other better, demon/human relationships are still despised but not as much as they used to be, and it doesn't matter what else stands in our way. It doesn't matter anymore."

_Because I want to be with you I'll do anything. _

_I'll find you, because we are one._

* * *

Everything was burning, her heart, the town that she had spent her life protecting was burning around her and there wasn't one thing she could do about it. 

People were dying, children were crying, and her own self was hurt. Both her shoulder and heart seemed to be ripped apart. Wincing, a new pain seemed to add. It was almost as if claws were scrapping across her legs and rib cage.

_My heart, everything I've sacrificed. Again I've been fooled into believe I, The damned priestess Kikyou, can be happy._

Closing her eyes, Kikyou let herself fall to her knees in the middle of the ruins around her. Now what, now what would she do? There was no longer any will left to even stand.

_Once again love has been your downfall._ This one thought seemed to stay with her, haunting her with it's vicious truth. Images, of people she loved, hurt, and left seemed to flash before her mind.

_I have to stay strong, get through this, hold my head up hight and continue._

"What's the point of continuing?" Something inside of her seemed to ask. "When all you'll get is pain and a broken will?"

"My will," Kikyou muttered. That was the one thing that had made her continue all those long years. Made her continue helping other's and trying to salvage her lost humanity.

And now, for some reason it seemed point less. Kikyou chocked back the pain, trying to keep together the image she had painted up till now, but still some tears escaped.

Something, the song that she had made for herself to get her through everything, passed from her lips. With out the energy to stop it or make it at least happier.

"_Unable to move forward..._

_Buried secrets, hidden lies, hiding the truth behind our eyes. _

_I want to wake up somewhere, and know that what I feel is true._

_A heart that's seen, yet one that's never experienced REAL joy, is that even a heart?_

_My Will, that keeps us apart, continues to grow._

_I want to overcome my pride and foolishness without getting hurt.  
Without hurting or being hurt, I want to reach out and grasp L-O-V-E. But without even really trying, I pull back._

_Somehow or the other we grew apart, saying that "I'll cherish you" just isn't enough. The promises broken are piling up._

_I want to over come this barrier, and prove that I can change for you. _

_My Will, endless obsession with ruining what we have. Are we worthy of love? Can I overcome my own selfishness?_

_Without losing or gaining anything, time stands still in my heart. I can still see OUR time. _

_We get to know each other again, and it's just the same thing. The same song playing on the radio echoes our "love"._

_I spent my day's alone, by myself, thinking that I can go one without you. _

_Thinking of you, made me cry so many times that I have no tears left to shed for myself. _

_But I have, I have the Will to be strong without you. I have the Will to go one without you._

_I know I have to go on this path by myself, pain and all. So by eating my desires I proceed. _

_No matter how many thorns cut my heart or how many steps it takes, _

_I have the Will to see you again._

_I want to overcome my pride and foolishness without getting hurt._

_Without hurting or being hurt, I want to reach out and grasp L-O-V-E. But without even really trying, I pull back._

_Somehow or the other we grew apart, saying that "I'll cherish you" just isn't enough. _

_There's so many things I wish we could tell each other, so many sides of "us" that I want to see._

_So without giving up anything I want to fly on broken wings and believe in YOU and I._

_I want to overcome my pride and foolishness without getting hurt.  
Without hurting or being hurt, I want to reach out and grasp L-O-V-E. But without even really trying, I pull back._

_Somehow or the other we grew apart, saying that "I'll cherish you" just isn't enough. The promises broken are piling up._

_I want to over come this barrier, and prove that I can change for you. _

_Wanting to change, but unable to. Can't you show me how?_

_The more I love you, the more I realize my imperfections. _

_So without trying I turn away._

_Even though we're so close, this stubborn Will of mine pulls us apart._

_Saying "I love you despite it all" without knowing WHY only makes the emptiness grow._

_The time that we meet again, this time I'll definitely overcome it!_

_These few steps bring me closer, I want to believe in love without looking at past examples. _

_This distance only makes my heart and Will to be with you again stronger._

_The part of me I can't change, we'll be able to accept. _

_I'll overcome My Will to be with you again."_

"We can overcome Our Will." A voice spoke from the Darkness as Kikyou finished the last lines in her song. She peered into the darkness in front of her, at first she could see nothing. But slowly, a familiar shape separated itself from the darkness. Someone that though altered, she still recognized. At first a part of her was afraid, but this soon melted into a sense of calm and great sorrow.

_This person, I know who he is. Long ago I-_

"You found me, and now I find you. Kikyou, don't doubt yourself or me, this," Kurama indicated with a wave of his hand the ruined village. "Is just pain brought up from long ago."

Kikyou couldn't seem to recall what had happened, who he was, or what was going on, but his words gave her a greater comfort then her own company could ever give her. Kurama, either sensing her confusion, knelled down to embrace her. Whispering more to himself then to her: "The games our hearts play."

Kikyou held her breath, even though he was a demon, something was still familar about him. The ruins around her seemed to grow hazy, almost disappearing. But still within sight.

She opened her mouth to ask what was going on, but something entirely different came out. "It'll just end up happening again. The only reason I'm here is because I'm afraid."

"Of losing yourself or me." It wasn't a question.

"Both." Kikyou replied to his statement.

"Why?" Kurama titled her chin up so he could see her eyes and the truth in them. Kikyou's tear filled eyes seemed to be unreadable, yet full of emotion. "Why are you still afraid?"

Kikyou shook off his hand. "Because I'm weak. I'm strong, yet I'm still weak inside. It's okay for me to fight, to push others in order to get what I want, to talk and manipulate. But when I really mean it, when I really love, I get scared... I get scared I'll leave them someday!"

_Kaede_

Even after all these years, the memory of her family still hurt. Like a open wound that never quiet healed.

Kikyou gripped her head between her hands, trembling. "I killed them. It was my power that destroyed them. I hurt Kaede! I loved her, maybe even more then I love you, and yet I left her on a whim. I left her alone! And then I came back, expecting her to still love me. And she hated me. Her last words, there was more to it. She didn't say it, but all those years, all those years that we shared through all of them she knew. She knew that I, I... She knew the truth. And I tried to get on without them, I pushed myself into the fight with Naraku and the love affair between Inuyasha and Kagome in order to make them disappear. If everything that reminded me of my pain left then would that pain still be there? I talk big when I'm fighting physically, I love when I feel like it, but when I'm alone and inside myself I see it's just talk. I can only help others, I can't help myself."

Kurama didn't know what to say, how could he take away her fear when his fear was similar. If he ever, if his powers ever destroyed his own family...

Kikyou continued. "So when I met you, something happened. I can't describe it. I had helped other children, but you were different. It wasn't just your condition, it was some spark. You understood my pain, getting close to other's yet never giving them all of you because of the fear of being left alone in the end. So I cried and believed that you would come back. And you didn't and I finally understood how Kaede felt. That belief in someone shattered forever. I tried to hate you when you did come back, you didn't even remember me at first, but I couldn't. I couldn't hate you, not even when I was waiting for you did I really hate you. Then I tried to get myself wrapped up in this case, but I couldn't. And now I realize that I didn't become human for myself, it was for you. But even that was a mistake, because it will never be over. You can't forget the pain, it's not like they say "forget and forgive. Ha, nothing is truly forgettable. The pain of losing everything, of people betraying you, who can forget? Now that you know the evil inside of me, will you leave me now?"

Kikyou looked up at Kurama, gold met brown in a lock of gazes. Kurama's unsure and despairing and Kikyou's pain filled and waiting.

Kurama closed his eyes, behind his closed lids he could see a path. Endless, cold and barren. Filled with snow, an endless winter that would not end. The falling snow and barren trees echoing that their was no happy ending in sight unless one was to be made on a different route. But their was no different path was their.

Kurama opened his eyes, Kikyou was still staring up at him. Waiting for his response.

Finally he spoke: "I couldn't forget you if I tried. I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted to. You think I forgot about you? Yes, part of me did forget, because part of me wanted to push you away. I didn't know what I felt back then, and I didn't want to see what that feeling was. In dreams I still remembered you. You're a character that's impossible to forget. And now I see that I pushed other's away because I was looking for someone like you. And you were looking for someone like me. I can't promise you that I won't hurt you, that I won't leave you, or that we'll have a happy ending. But this heart that's already yours can promise you that I'll try to help us. We can't forget, but we can change. Nothing stands in our way now."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing incept us. I-"

Kikyou reached up and silenced him. She wiped away her tears and put on a determined look. "I want to hear that after this is over. There is one thing that stands in the way. So let me think and finish my task. After that, I want those words after that."

Kikyou stood up with Kurama's help. The scenery around them had vanished till it seemed like they were standing in an endless sea of darkness. There was a feeling like something was tugging on the both of them. Kikyou reached up and whispered in his ear, her words barely audible were:

"Stay with me, even if our world ends. If I should die, stay with me."

* * *

"Kurama?" 

"Hiei? I guess I'm awake now, huh? What happened by I was out for the count?"

Kurama looked outside the open door in the house they were temporarily staying. They were still in the Demon Slayers village. Yusuke had managed to find a doctor that lived close by who had taken care of their wounds. In the end, staying put for a few days had been to their advantage. Botan was once again among them, she was determined to stay with the group for Naraku and reasons of her own. Though Botan and Kuwabara's talk/mission was never explained to any of them. Things had turned out alright, messy, but alright in the end.

"...And that's where this chapter begins, with you waking up."

Kurama looked toward the door leading to the adjoining room. "And Kikyou?"

Hiei looked toward the door also. "Your lover's still asleep."

Kurama smiled slyly. "So you knew?"

Hiei glanced at Kurama then stood up to stretch. "I knew even before you slept with her. The only ones that are still in the dark are Kuwabara and Yusuke. That barrier prevented anyone from hearing anything going on inside of it, but I've always been very good at reading lips."

Kurama sat up and groaned. His legs felt numb, but that was only to be expected. In the dream it seemed like only an hour had passed, when in fact it had been days.

"What about Naraku?"

"We'll leave to take him on as soon as Kikyou's awake. Botan has a lead."

Kurama stood up slowly once the feeling in his legs returned. "Kikyou should be up soon."

"How do you know?"

Kurama shrugged his shoulders and smiled mysteriously. Who could explain the workings of the hearts?

* * *

True to his word, Kikyou did wake up soon. Everything was explained, but the feelings between the group was still tense. Even between Kikyou and Kurama things were stiff. They left the next morning, Kikyou and Botan, who suprisntly harbored no ill feelings toward the other woman, walked far ahead of the group. 

The conversation between two woman who had the same feelings was not something for outsiders to hear.

"So you knew? I guess we did nothing to hide it. Only Kurama and me didn't know until the last minute." Kikyou explained. She looked off into the trees where two birds were singing a duet. Somewhere out their, life still continued beyond this unchanging forest.

Botan looked down at her hands, fumbling with the device in their hands which was keeping them from getting lost and straying off the path they were on. "Yes, I knew. I sort of hoped that the two of you would prove to be two different, or that the differences between you two would show. But, through it all you two stayed together. I feel like a fool now."

Kikyou stopped walking. For every winner there had to be a loser. "Why?"

Botan chewed her bottom lip. "I tried to get close to him. But he was always looking far away. I think that he was looking for someone like you. His words never expressed it, I guess it was just a woman's intuition."

"That's exactly what he said to me."

"Pardon?"

Kikyou smiled wistfully. Looking away from the trees to let her eyes rest on Botan. "It's nothing. No one can go through this life alone. You'll find someone. Maybe he's just under your nose."

Botan's face scrunched up, faking being angry. "If you mean one of the other men in this group, you can forget it. They're all pigs."

"Whose a pig?" Hiei seemed to just suddenly pop up at Botan's side. Botan jumped from his sudden appearance and glare.  
Laughing nervously she tried to put out his anger. She had forgot that demons had very good hearing. "I meant, "there's a pig"!"

Kikyou laughed at the two of them and then looked up at the sky.

_If tomorrow's the end of everything, if I lose to Naraku, let me remember this one moment._

_Let me remember our song..._

(End of chapter)

* * *

Chapter 15: I'll be with you 

Villains, if you've reach the final stages of your journey, chances are that you'll have to go through some giant castle and face the bad guy. It's like a code of honor for them to have a base, never seem to actually kill you, and laugh very evilly. That and the ending speech where they explain everything.

So when the group, consisting of Kuwabara, Botan, Hiei, Kurama, and Kikyou, finally laid their eyes upon the ruins of what used to be a city among the mists of the mountains and then upon the castle looming over them. They weren't surprised. The fog and miasma encased mountains had shielded anyone not coming to the lesser known city from seeing the site. But it hadn't been lost to Botan's sources.

Kikyou stood, taking in the breathtaking yet bleak site. Would it finally end here? Wasn't that what Inuyasha and them had thought so long ago. What if there was no end to Naraku's power?

"Kikyou, let's go."

Kikyou turned at the sound of her name and looked back at Kurama, the other's were further down on the path leading to the ruined city. His eyes seemed to reassure her spirit. There was no time to think about the past now, or to mourn those that had been killed by Naraku. Even if they could turn back time, what good would it have done?

'Even if we don't truly beat him, there will always be people to stop him. Inuyasha, you, always.' Kikyou thought to herself and then left the edge of the cliff she was standing on. She would beat him, she would face the past and beat Naraku.

Upon reaching the city they could all clearly see that there was nothing to be salvaged or rescued. The fire that had engulfed it had left nothing of it's previous glory.

"Now what?" Hiei asked, turning to both Botan and Kikyou. He kicked a chard piece of wood aside, revealing a skull underneath.

How many victims were there now from Naraku's malice?

"We can't just storm the castle like a pair of idiots." At this Botan gave a sharp look to both Yusuke and Kuwabara. "We should go by the most unused entrance. Before Naraku turned this into his domain that castle had been standing there. There's a old map that I managed to download of it. If we go up it's southern side there should be a entrance to a sewer system. We can even enter those tunnels from here. But if Naraku has destroyed that point of entry we'll have to try the western gate."

"So the big plan is to not use up all our power till we get to the boss?" Kurama added.

Botan nodded. Naraku was the main event. The demon would probably send out a lot of guards to distract them, but if they got around them then they would at least have a fighting chance of winning.

"Right now we should rest for the moment and perfect our plan." Botan continued, putting emphasis on the word plan. "This isn't like missions in the past, we all have to work together on this."

Kurama, instead of sitting down and talking about the plan, got up and walked a little. He couldn't help feeling that-

A warm hand fell across his shoulder, before he could turn to attack the person behind him she announced her presence.

"Sorry, I forgot that sneaking up on you isn't such a good idea!"

"Botan, what are you doing here?"

Botan turned to look back at the group behind them. "I already discussed the plan with Kikyou on the way over here. That and you WERE leaving. What did I just say about team work?"

Kurama gave her a small smile. She always seemed to be there to offer some kind of support. He was lucky to have such good friends. "I just can't help feeling that-"

"That this destruction is your fault?" Botan interrupted. "It's not. This was here long before we started out on our mission. Why else do you think we needed Kikyou to help find Naraku. without her senses and some work on the netherworlds part, we wouldn't have been able to find these weeks old ruins."

Kurama sighed. A weight seemed to have been lifted off his shoulders. "That's good to hear."

Botan felt like she should do something now, since this might be the last moment she would have with him. But she just couldn't betray Kikyou like that. That and the feelings that she had seemed to already be not so strong, almost as if her heart accepted what her mind had refused to see all these years. She patted his shoulder again and smiled against the pain in her heart.

"Don't just walk away like that, you have a girlfriend to think of now. If you have something on your mind talk about it together."

"I guess..."

"Huh?" Did things between Kikyou and Kurama had been tense and distant as of late. Botan thought it was just to hide their relationship from the ones that didn't know about it. Maybe she was right, or maybe they just needed some time away from each other to think.

The dawn of the next day, they put their plan in action. Even in the sewers, the climb to the castle was still rough, but at least nothing was waiting down there for them besides the smell of garbage. When they did reach the end of their path no one was waiting for them at that end either. The castle stood silent. Even inside no guards were placed, the decor was frighting enough. Walking the inside of the castle was almost like walking in the inside of a person. The building seemed to breath along with them and the floors and walls felt to warm and slippery to be made out of wood or stone. Many rooms were added and taken away so that Botan's map was almost useless.  
Finally they reached the "heart" of the building, where Naraku was waiting for them.

Naraku seemed to have grown taller, to the point where he seemed to tower stories above them. The high open ceiling and muted lighting of the room gave it a airy gloomy look about it. Like a cemetery. His eyes seemed to pass over everyone of their faces, coming to at last rest upon Kikyou's. They glared at each other. The hatred that each felt for each other seemed to put out the few candles in the room. luckily the sun managed to shine some of it's rays into the cursed building.

"It's been a long time Kikyou..."

Kikyou pulled out her bow and notched an arrow in it, the others pulled out their weapons. Botan, who couldn't fight was backing up to wait outside when the door slammed and locked itself behind her.

Naraku laughed, a laugh that unfortunately echoed across the vast room. "I see you don't desire to talk. We've had years after all and now there's nothing to say. Don't bother trying to leave this room, I can control everything here even the floor which you stand upon. Besides, what a more fitting place to be your tomb. You've should have left things alone and minded your own business."

'Your business is our business Naraku,' Kikyou thought to herself while watching Naraku come toward them. 'It's ours and every person that you have destroyed!'

The battle, the explosions and sounds of weapons clashing could be seen from the same cliff that Kikyou had previously been standing upon. Sesshoumaru stood silent and watched with Rin at his side. Witnesses to whatever happened.

Rin, like in the old days, held on to Sesshoumaru and watched with fear. What if they lost, what if Kikyou-

"She'll come back. Those trials that she has went through haven't been for nothing."

"But I feel terrible, just standing here! Can we do nothing?"

Sesshoumaru glanced down at Rin, then back to the distant castle. "No, we can do nothing, it isn't our battle. Ours ended long ago."

Rin looked away from Sesshoumaru and down at the ground beneath them and the ruined city. He was right of course. He always seemed to be right. The only time Sesshoumaru's judgment had been wrong was when it came to Kikyou. And maybe even that was for the best.

"Kikyou, you better come back to us." Rin whispered to herself and held on to Sesshoumaru tighter.

This battle would decide many things, not just for them, but for every one. It would be an ending to what had been a endless fairy tale.

* * *

The floor shifted, the ground changed. Everything that Naraku said was coming true, he really could control this room because it was just an extension of himself. Kikyou managed to put up a shield around Botan, who could only watch. 

As the ground around Kikyou's feet shifted like sand and seemed to rise up to devour her she was yanked back by Kurama. They exchanged a glance of thanks and frustration.

How could they fight Naraku if he controlled the very environment they were on?

Kikyou looked up, high the walls were his flesh and flesh can be destroyed. She aimed her arrow at what seemed to be a thick red line which could be his main artery or nothing at all. The arrow hit it's mark, blowing a huge hole in the wall. Naraku screamed and feel back upon the already heavily damaged wall, opening a passage way to the outside world.

And so the battle was taken outside.

Naraku raised up again, his hand turning into a hooked weapon. The group stayed together, formed a tight circle. Even outside Naraku was a terrible foe.  
Naraku cut into the ground where they had previously been, luckily for them they had escaped the hit. But now their ranks were divided. They stuck out wither their weapons but it seemed that where ever they hit the area grew back.

The jewel, the Shikon no Tama and Naraku's own power seemed to make him invincible.

Kikyou's eye's widened, could she actually see it? Yes, the Shikon no Tama. The aura of the jewel was glowing right over Naraku's own heart.

"His heart, that's his weak spot!"

"Are you sure?" Kurama shouted over the noise of the battle. Kikyou nodded, even after all this time she still had all her skills and then some.

Kurama relayed the information to the other's. Botan added info to it:

"The real reason we have Kikyou on her team is because she's the only one that can really finish off Naraku. Her and Kagome's holy arrows were the only thing that killed Naraku before!"

Naraku smiled at their plan. Could they really believe they could defeat him? Before he had been a half demon, but now he was a whole demon. In his mind they didn't stand a chance. And with out their priestess.

Naraku shot out his tentacles No matter how much the group attacked, they just seemed to grow. So much so that it was almost impossible to keep up with them.

Kikyou tried to stay calm, this was a common attack of Naraku's. She cut down the ones in her way and tried to see past the fog and dust clouds in front of her. Something moved behind her, and before she could turn fully around it was already too late. Certain that this was the end, that the tentacle would pierce her heart, Kikyou prepared to block it with her arm. Even if that didn't work it was better with nothing.

But she didn't have to. Kurama jumped in front of her and tired to block off Naraku's weapon with his rose whip. Naraku's other weapon, his hook seemed to appear above their heads. Kikyou managed to put together another shield but it broke through. Not being able to save one without losing the other, Kurama made a desperate gamble.

He let the tentacle go and pushed both him and Kikyou to the ground. Naraku's hook his the tentacle and injured himself.

Hissing Naraku prepared for a second attack when Yusuke's Rei gun (is that correct?) stopped him.

"We're not out of this battle. So don't forget about us."

"Yusuke, don't you think this isn't the time for a speech?" Botan commented. luckily she couldn't be heard.

Kurama and Kikyou stood up. The fog was getting thicker, it was now harder to see each other, much less Naraku. Things had gone strangely quiet. Kikyou couldn't even see the Shikon no Tama.

Suddenly two things happened, the fog suddenly cleared and the ground under Kikyou's feet shifted and she found her limbs tangled in Naraku's tentacles

"Kikyou!" The shout seemed to be heard from miles away as Kikyou was raised up until she was eye level to Naraku. The tentacles grip increased, breaking her right arm.

"If you're out of the picture then I won't have to worry about the ants below you." Naraku grinned triumphantly.

"You forget, my power isn't just limited to a bow and arrow. You're a fool." Kikyou gasped between the pain and let her broken arm drop from Naraku's release. He had been foolish enough to think that she was now useless. As the rest of her body still encased in his grip started to be broken as well her hands glow matched that of the jewel.

'If there's anyone in there...'

Down below Kurama and the rest were trying to cut down Naraku. With his victory in sight, more arms seemed to grow from him, each with a weapon of their own and each more of a challenge then the last. The group seemed to be receiving more damage then causing any. They were all on their last leg, if some miracle didn't happen now...

'help me win your freedom.'

Her bones didn't seem to hurt as they had before. Kikyou reached her arm toward Naraku's heart. There was a cracking sound, and then Naraku leaned forward in pain. The spot where his heart was was cracking like clay. The jewel had suddenly turned into acid in his veins. Kikyou was let go. Kurama, even in his weakened state, managed to catch her in mid air. The two settled back on the ground, they all looked up to see Naraku injuring himself in order to rip the jewel out of his body.

"It won't last for long, Naraku will soon be up again. We have to act now. It's a chance but, if I can manage to lend my power to each of you, and we all hit him at the same spot at the same time..." Kikyou trailed off, she didn't need to explain it. Some plans went without words.

despite their differences they had made it here.

despite their past they had joined together.

And now the mission was almost over.

Everyone raised their weapons, Kurama laid Kikyou on the ground by Botan's feet. He leaned down and whispered in her ear: "Stay with me, even if our world ends. If I should die, stay with me."

Kikyou looked up into his eyes and reached up her uninjured arm to wipe away the smudge of dirt on his cheeks. She smiled. "Go. I'll stay by your side."

Kurama nodded and sadly pulled away to join the others.

"You ready?" Yusuke looked at the others and asked. He could already feel Kikyou working her magic.

Hiei sighed, Kuwabara looked up into the sky, and Kurama nodded. No words were needed for this one either, they were born ready.

Naraku had found the jewel, he threw it away from him and grinned down menacingly at the group at his feet. He didn't seem to notice the aura surrounding them or the gapping wound in his heart which was there target. He reached out to crush them and they dodged his attack and landed on his out stretched arms, using them as a platform. Before he could shake them off each of them attacked at the same time, piercing his heart.  
But like all villains, non died without dealing some damage. Instead of blood, miasma spewed up, hitting them. Miasma was much like acid, and a description of having your flesh burned by acid is not needed for the reader to get a image of such a thing in their head.

But, there is always hope. Even in the darkest night hope still shines. Kikyou, seeing that those around her were about to die made the first, and last, wish on the jewel. Even so far away it still heard her. What she wished for she wasn't quite sure, some things, some emotions, in one self don't have words to explain their existence.

There was a bright light, a scream that was either Kikyou's or her own, and then.

Nothing. Things took on shades of black and white. Before her was a great and terrible plain. A battle had taken place and it seemed like it had left thousands of bodies in it's wake. Both human and demon. But someone, someone was still left.

Midoriko.

Kikyou could feel no ill will toward the woman. She had saved her before and now she was saving her again. What do you want this time, was what Kikyou wanted to say but she couldn't seem to speak.

Midoriko reached out her hand toward Kikyou, a great distance was separating them but in her palm Kikyou could clearly see a coin. A soul coin. Was it hers or Midoriko's?

"Long ago, in the midst of battle when I was about to lose everything, I made a wish to save everything. It is as much my fault as Naraku's for your misfortune. I want to pay back what I owe."  
Kikyou finally founder her voice. "The others..."

"They are fine. For the moment. I have stopped time because of you."

"Me?"

Midoriko laughed sadly. "Can you not see it yet? You are me, I am you... Just as Kagome is the reincarnation of you-"

"I am of you."

Midoriko smiled sadly again. She nodded her hear at the scenery around them. "This can all stop now, if you will it I won't have to fight anymore. You helped me then, I want to help you now."

"And the price?" Kikyou asked. The jewel was both good and evil, the price it cost to use it was more than anyone could pay. "What is the price for me and my friends lives this time?"

"Life is short, everyone will die one day. Even if you live a thousand lives you will die a thousand times. The price of living is death. This jewel is just a reflection of that. Naraku, me, this realm, it must be destroyed no matter what. What say you Priestess of the Shikon?"

Kikyou closed her eyes, that path that she had seen long ago. The path covered in snow seemed to be stopped by time as well. But further down it, just a arms length away was a certain red haired person she cared for. His hand was reaching out to her like Midoriko's but in his hand was the future.

The future they would make together.

"Thank you. I choose to end it."

Time resumed, but this time Kikyou's body was healed. Her legs and arms were no longer broken. She managed to stand up and form a shield that surrounded Kurama and the other's after the attack. The miasma didn't kill them this time.

Naraku, dieing and only half of him remaining, stumbled and fell off the mountain side. They had managed to jump off him but the weight of Naraku's fall made the ground beneath their feet crumble.  
Botan screamed, Kikyou cursed. So this was the price. Behind them the castle walls were falling in on itself, Naraku was dead and so was his residence.

Botan and Kikyou ran to the edge of the cliff and looked down. Botan was crying openly by Kikyou was holding on to her pain, holding a hand over her heart which still hoped and which now held the jewel. She was it's owner now, just like Midoriko had said. But Kikyou would rather had died with Kurama or let Naraku live then this.

Suddenly there was a strange noise at their feet. A coughing, followed by harsh breathing, and then:

"HEY, hey, down here! Hello, could you stop crying like a baby and help!" Yusuke's voice shot up from the abyss below.

Botan cried harder. "Oh, Yusuke's ghost is calling to us from the great beyond!"

"What the f---! I'm not dead you b-"

"Don't talk to Botan like that! Hey, idiot, we're not dead! We're hanging on for dear life, throw a rope or something!"

The fog started to disappear, and with it they could see the melting remains of Naraku's body far below and Yusuke holding on with one hand to the edge of the cliff, followed by the other's gripping his and each other's legs.

"Oh, you're not dead!" Botan happily exclaimed, clapping her hands together and forgetting the names they had called her.

Kikyou lowered her eyes and sighed happily. They weren't dead. It seemed like they were going to be all right. The mission was finally over. Kikyou and Botan bent to help the other's up and tend to their injures which seemed to be mysteriously healed.

It was all over.

* * *

Days passed, old wounds were healed but never forgotten. The picture that they had taken at the end, the only group picture they had to remember each other by. Was in a oak picture frame on Kurama's desk. In the picture Yusuke was posed like a hunter with one foot on one of the fallen walls of Naraku's castle, one of his arm's raised in a thumb's up. The other's were behind him. Botan who was half out of the picture because the camera's timer was too short, Hiei looking impatient, Kuwabara with a stupid grin on his face, and Kikyou and Kurama looking both happy and upset at the same time. Melancholy was the word maybe. 

After all, with the mission over, was there anything keeping them together besides themselves?

Kurama attempted to smile at the framed photograph. His arms were folded over the desk and his head lay on top of them. Outside the window on the wall to his right life went on. Life always went on, even those in pain had to admit that. She had left him at the crossroads, saying that she had to think and do something important. To not try to find her.

Like stated before, life went on.

Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Botan seemed to not know where Kikyou was either. But they seemed more content in that knowledge, only he seemed to be worrying too much. Even with his heart torn he still had to admit this also: Even if she never came back he would always be happy he met her. At least this time he wasn't the one to forget.

A love that started at childhood and continued on today. The princess and the prince that wakes her meet a thousand years later and fall in love again, what rubbish, what fairy tales that are told and come true. A modern feudal fairy tale.

What a tale, what a fairy tale about a ghost and a fox.

Soft knocking at his door followed by his name called softly. Kurama's mother walked in with a plate of cookies balanced in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. Comfort foods seemed to be the only thing she could make right now. She was attempting, even if she didn't know the reason for his pain, to cheer him up. Somehow he had left a boy and returned a man. But part of him seemed to be far away, he was now moody and silent. Locked up in his room most days and walking in the woods in others.

She lay the platter of cookies by his head and held on to the milk, looking down at her son. Was it a woman problem? Was that part of the reason he had been away for so long? She opened her mouth to speak, but Kurama seemed to read her mind.

"I'll be alright, don't worry so much. It's not as bad as you think." Kurama mumbled sleepily and turned his head to look at his mother from the corner of his eyes.

The older woman sighed and looked around his plant filled room, if she didn't know him and just walked in she would swear that this was a girls room. It was much too clean, only the bed seemed used.

"I was young and beautiful too you know, how else would I have attracted your father."  
"Mother-"

She went on with our either not hearing him or ignoring him. "He was a little older than me. Okay, so maybe more than a little."

'Great,' Kurama thought to himself. 'at least I know why I like older woman now.'

"But he was so handsome, inside and out, that it didn't matter. I hoped that you would find someone just like that. I wonder at times if I raised you right. You never seem to bring a girl home or even be interested in settling down. But then again, there's a lot of your life I don't know. But I know that I love you, whatever you decide is best. Don't let yourself be burned by the present."

Kurama sat up and turned around in his chair to embrace his mother, causing her to almost drop her glass of milk on his head. He all of a sudden he felt really tired, as if he had been running down this path all of his life just to lose the person he was running after. Yet this person was important, he couldn't lose she or forget about her and go back. This love was too destructive, too powerful, and too wonderful, even if it hurt, to just abandon now.

He just needed time to catch his breath.

"Kurama?" Kurama's mother asked her son. Seeing that he had fallen asleep by still holding on to her, she set down the glass on the desk and placed her hands on top of his head. She sighed and looked out the window, how quickly they grew up and felt life's pains. How quickly they recovered once they found that pain was necessary.

The phone started ringing, the woman's head turned to look at the small white phone which could barely be seen behind a large potted fern next to Kurama's head. She wanted to go and answer it but if she did that she would disturb Kurama's much needed rest. So instead she let the answering machine pick it up.

"Hello, hi, it's Botan! Look, it's been a long time, but I finally got enough money to host a small celebration for our victory! Everyone should be there, well hopefully everyone. I have a surprise waiting for you so you better show! Yup, that's it, I mean I, and the other's, missed you so, never mind. Just show up. I mean-oh forget it. Just come! Bye!" The message ended.

Kurama's mother stared at the phone, a confused look on her face. What strange friends Kurama had! Well, she would make sure he got the message and attended. Maybe not seeing his friends in a while had been what was wrong with him. She smiled and looked down at her sons head.

"I did hope it was a girl problem though. I can't go on forever without seeing you truly happy."

* * *

The building that Botan had rented was a small hotel room put off to the side for parties and the like. The hotel itself looked unimpressive from the outside, but on the inside it's rich furnishings and service more than made up for that. No wonder the hotel was four stars! 

To get the room Botan had rented, one had to go down a flight of stairs, past the kitchen and restrooms, and finally reach a small room lit with party lights and sparsely furnished except for a few tables weighed down by party trays. No wonder Botan had been able to rent a room here.

Kurama looked around him once he reached the bottom of the stairs. It wasn't much, but it was still a party. Everyone else had managed to get here before him and were already partying. They came up to him and smiled, said a few words and got back in line for seconds on the appetizers. It seemed that Botan hadn't just invited the people that actually worked on the mission but several of her and other's friends.

Botan looked away from a person that she was talking to and managed to see Kurama from across the room. He was wearing all black and despite the small smile on his face he seemed to be sad and withdrawn. But even that couldn't take away all of his charm. Which was probably why he had a small following of woman behind him plotting something.

Botan politely excused herself from the conversation she was in and walked up to Kurama.

"Hi, I thought you wouldn't come." She wanted to add: "I thought you wouldn't come without Kikyou."

Kurama smiled down at her, trying to cover up his true feelings. "Would you have liked me not to come?"

"No, no, of course not. It's just-Never mind. I'm glad you're here." She smiled back at him and turned to look around the room, anything but his sad green eyes. Where was the person she was looking for?

Kurama looked around as well. Kikyou wasn't here. Had she really expected her to come? He looked down at Botan, he wasn't oblivious to her feelings. He could try to forget about Kikyou and be with someone else. But he couldn't turn away from Kikyou even if he tried.

There were only two types of woman now, Kikyou and everyone else. And he only needed Kikyou.

Botan looked back at Kurama, wanting to explain the surprise she had in mind but before she could it walked through the door.

Botan's eyes widen, and several people stopped talking and looked toward the door. Before Kurama could even turn around he knew who it was.

Kikyou. She had changed, traveled so much that Botan had a hard time finding anyone incept Inuyasha that could hope to give her the message, yet she had managed to make it. She was wearing a black lace dress that reached above her knees with matching high heels with a low, short heel and black chandler earrings. The ribbon in her hair was black and also made of lace. She seemed not to be as pale as she had been, time in the sun had done her some good. But enough paleness remained to point out the condition she had had in life and now had again.

Kikyou scanned the room, looking for Kurama. Kurama turned and their eyes met and held on. Kikyou gave him a long meaningful glance and then turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

Botan opened her mouth to call to Kikyou, but before she could utter a word Kurama was running out the door as well. She shut her mouth and let them go. Somehow she had a feeling she wouldn't see them for awhile.

Up a flight of stairs, past the kitchen and restrooms, through a lobby and out the back door leading to the moon and lantern lit gardens. Running, running down that path that might lead to nowhere and everywhere. The person that he had been chasing was just within sight, the goal almost reached.

_Don't run away from me any longer._

Kurama stopped running, he was at another crossroads. This place was huge, she could have taken any one of the three paths in front of him. Kurama looked from left to right, which one, which one was the correct path to choose.

_If it means losing you or losing everything, let me lose everything._

Songs, they always echoed the feelings of others. Kurama spied a black ribbon dangling from the tree branches over the middle path, he reached up and untangled it, tieing it in his own hair. He continued onward toward the destination which he had glimpsed.

_No matter what they say, if it's wrong or right. Lead on! _

_I want to follow your echoing footsteps. _

_Because I'm weak without you. _

The path quickly ended and gave way to artificial lake filled with goldfish. Kikyou sat with her knees pulled up in front of it, her back against a weeping willow which hung over the lake with it's leaves almost touching the water itself. Her eyes seemed far away and her expression devoid of emotion.

She looked up at him as he reached her. With out a word he sat by her and watched the moon on the lakes surface.

_I want to be with you, even if time shall stop and the world breaks!_

_The feelings of my heart can't be explained as easily as they say. _

_This world exists for us. Believe in me. _

_Believe in this heart._

After a while Kikyou finally spoke. "I told you I had to think about it. About us."

Kurama grew angry. How long would she continue to keep him waiting?

_I love you can't say enough,_

_the words I want to say seem to vanish._

_How long will you keep me waiting?_

_Am I a fool to stay here?_

"You had to THINK about it? What about just believing in your heart? Wait, don't tell me, that's a little too much for you."

"Kurama..."

"Don't say my name without putting anything behind the words! I, I waited for you? I'm still waiting for you? Are you happy now? Now I know how you felt all those years!"

Kikyou turned toward him and reached out a hand to stoke his face. Kurama grasped her hand before it could reach him and pulled her toward him.

_The memories of yesterday, _

_the ones that we made today, tomorrow, and in the future, where are they now?_

_Even the painful love we experienced with other's had memories._

_Don't run away, don't run away away from something new. _

_The past exists so we can continue in the present._

The kiss was more bitter than loving, neither of them closed their eyes. Breathing was an option, ignoring the pain and making the other feel it was. It was savage, rough, and turning into something much more important. Who saw or that the night was almost over didn't seem to matter. They fell forward, Kikyou ending up on the bottom.

Kikyou looked up at the moon, the symbol of the night. How quickly things would end, she untangled her own ribbon from Kurama's hair.

_I want to be with you, even if time shall stop and the world breaks!_

_The feelings of my heart can't be explained as easily as they say. _

_This world exists for us. Believe in me. _

_Believe in this heart._

Kikyou pushed Kurama away slightly, things were going way to fast. She needed to explain a few things first. Kurama looked up with a irritated glare that seemed to say "you owe me at least this much". Kikyou sat up despite her own feelings, she too wanted this moment but sometimes you must go without. Pulling her dress back on she escaped from his grasp and sat a few feet away from him.

"It's not like I wanted to leave you, or that I changed my mind about us. You should know it not that easy to believe in your "heart". But if you really think I'm that heartless maybe you could go without me, huh?"

Kurama pouted, something that was much unlike him. She had a way of making him angry at her yet loving her at the same time.

Kikyou smiled at his helpless expression and then continued. "I was serious when I said I want you to stay by me. But so was I when I said I had to think about it. I traveled, tied up a few loose ends. I visited Sesshoumaru and told him how I once felt about him, said sorry to Rin for leaving her and helped heal her own heart, I also visited Inuyasha. It took awhile, part of me will always hate him for what he did, but I have learned to accept it and he's still hopelessly immature and in love with Kagome. Speaking of which, I don't know why but Shippo seemed to hate me, after my stay he still holds some resentment, but not enough to be a problem. Even though I don't see how he fit into our love triangle anyway..."

Kikyou trailed off, the last part was painful. But necessary for her recovery. "I visited the tombs of my family as well. I prayed at Kaede's grave for forgiveness. I don't know if she even listened, but I confessed everything to her. How I felt, how I feel now, I even told her about you. I begged for her for her to forgive me for leaving her alone. Even though I was young and that was the first time I had been in love, that was no excuse. I should have held on to life and raised her as a sister/re-placement mother should."

Kurama looked down at his hands, he should have trusted Kikyou more. Of course she wouldn't just run off and leave him.

_Don't turn away,_

_because I'm hopelessly in love with you,_

_that's why I make mistakes. _

_Time that echoes our laughter and repeats our tears, _

_if I have faith in you we can get by the painful moments._

"And now what, now what should we do?" Kurama asked after a long moment of silence. Kikyou tied her hair again and zipped up the back of her dress.

"If your still in love with me, tell me what you were about to say before the dream ended." Kikyou stood up and walked toward Kurama, she looked down at him and remembered all the steps they had to take to be at this point in their path.

_Every little thing, every little word,_

_it's just part of our destiny. _

_I believe in you, like you believe in me._

_I love you, don't run away from this love!_

_No matter how frightful the future may seem, _

_I'll be by you because I love you. _

_Only you._

"Nothing stands in our way now. I love you."

The words, they seemed to be both placing and lifting a heavy burden on the both of them. These three words, when said with all one's heart were enough to both break and make a person.

Tears seemed to come to Kikyou's eyes, but she blinked them away. No more tears. Not now, not ever. "I feel the same."

Kurama stood up, dusting off the seat of his pants. "Can't you say I love you too?"

Kikyou frowned, placing her arms across her chest. "If you say it, I say it. We're one. Isn't that what you were trying to imply in that dream, in our hearts?"

Kurama blushed, how did she know about that part of the dream? But then again, how could they both have the same dream and that dream still be fresh in their minds?

Kikyou and Kurama looked up at the moon at the same time. The song was ending.

_I love you, _

_if the road before us disappears I'll continue to follow in your footsteps._

_Turn back toward me,_

_turn back toward me and say I love you._

_Tomorrow's journey depends on your words._

_I'll follow you._

"I want to get away from here."

Kurama looked from the sky to Kikyou. In the moonlight he could see that she wasn't joking, she really wanted to leave.

"Now?"

"Yes." She looked from the sky also and smiled at him again. "Yes, I want to leave with you this time."  
"Where will we go?"

Kikyou embraced him, wrapping her arms around his chest. Kurama returned the embrace. "Does it matter where we go? Anywhere."

They pulled away from their embrace, Kurama held out his hand and Kikyou took it. Hand in hand they left the lake and headed back toward the party.

* * *

The party was almost over, it had gone with out anything going wrong. Now all that was needed was to clean up after everyone had left. 

Botan was finishing off a drink when one of the guests came back from the bathroom and rushed downstairs. He was breathing in gasped, red-faced, and seemed to be trying to speak. Finally he chocked out his words:  
"Help, some ones stealing my bike!" It was shouted loud enough to be heard over the sound of the music currently playing.

Botan drank down the liquid in her hand in one gulp. She knew something bad would happen. She also knew she probably shouldn't have made everyone leave their keys outside the door with name tags and the name of the vehicle on them. That was like inviting a car thief to steal.

Botan and the other's rushed up stairs and out to the parking lot. Calling the police wasn't really in anyone's mind, they just wanted to see the main event of the night.

Botan was just in time to see something she hadn't thought possible.

Kurama, with his perfect criminal record was stealing a motorcycle. Something she hadn't even thought he knew how to drive. Kikyou was in back of him, both of them had helmets on so the only thing that let those that knew them know it was them was their hair.

Yusuke and Kuwabara, who were pretty drunk by know, egged them on. Hiei popped open another can of soda and looked on with out interest. The man whose was getting robbed just sat on the ground looking shocked, knowing that he didn't have a chance of catching them. And the rest of the party, who didn't care what happened as long as it was entertaining, drank to the couples health.

No one called the police, and the bike was returned within a month. But by then it was pretty beaten up and dirty.

Kurama held up a hand and waved at the group. They returned the wave.

"Do you think they'll come back?" Botan asked.

"Hmph, of course. Knowing how much of a mama's boy Kurama is I'm betting he'll come back within a year." Hiei replied.

Botan's eyes widen. A year? That long for a honeymoon. That is if they decided to get married.

"They just better bring send me an invitation." Botan muttered to herself and smiled.

They road off into the night, leaving the lights of the city far behind. The road in front of them empty except themselves. Surrounded by possibilitys and hopes for the future.

Kikyou leaned on Kurama and held on to him tighter. She wasn't afraid of the future any longer. What happens happens. Even if she should die or Kurama dies, it didn't matter. Now was the only moment that mattered.

Don't look back, that's what the past had taught her. Don't look back at the road you travel, look forward.

For yourself, for the people you loved and love, continue forward on the road you pave and don't give in to the will of others.

"My Will," Kikyou's words were lost on the wind but not on her or on him. "I'll pave this new road with My, Our, Will."

"_Unable to move forward..._

_Buried secrets, hidden lies, hiding the truth behind our eyes. _

_I want to wake up somewhere, and know that what I feel is true._

_A heart that's seen, yet one that's never experienced REAL joy, is that even a heart?_

_My Will, that keeps us apart, continues to grow._

_I want to overcome my pride and foolishness without getting hurt.  
Without hurting or being hurt, I want to reach out and grasp L-O-V-E. But without even really trying, I pull back._

_Somehow or the other we grew apart, saying that "I'll cherish you" just isn't enough. The promises broken are piling up._

_I want to over come this barrier, and prove that I can change for you. _

_My Will, endless obsession with ruining what we have. Are we worthy of love? Can I overcome my own selfishness?_

_Without losing or gaining anything, time stands still in my heart. I can still see OUR time. _

_We get to know each other again, and it's just the same thing. The same song playing on the radio echoes our "love"._

_I spent my day's alone, by myself, thinking that I can go on without you. _

_Thinking of you, made me cry so many times that I have no tears left to shed for myself. _

_But I have, I have the Will to be strong without you. I have the Will to go one without you._

_I know I have to go on this path by myself, pain and all. So by eating my desires I proceed. _

_No matter how many thorns cut my heart or how many steps it takes, _

_I have the Will to see you again._

_I want to overcome my pride and foolishness without getting hurt._

_Without hurting or being hurt, I want to reach out and grasp L-O-V-E. But without even really trying, I pull back._

_Somehow or the other we grew apart, saying that "I'll cherish you" just isn't enough. _

_There's so many things I wish we could tell each other, so many sides of "us" that I want to see._

_So without giving up anything I want to fly on broken wings and believe in YOU and I._

_I want to overcome my pride and foolishness without getting hurt.  
Without hurting or being hurt, I want to reach out and grasp L-O-V-E. But without even really trying, I pull back._

_Somehow or the other we grew apart, saying that "I'll cherish you" just isn't enough. The promises broken are piling up._

_I want to over come this barrier, and prove that I can change for you. _

_Wanting to change, but unable to. Can't you show me how?_

_The more I love you, the more I realize my imperfections. _

_So without trying I turn away._

_Even though we're so close, this stubborn Will of mine pulls us apart._

_Saying "I love you despite it all" without knowing WHY only makes the emptiness grow._

_The time that we meet again, this time I'll definitely overcome it!_

_These few steps bring me closer, I want to believe in love without looking at past examples. _

_This distance only makes my heart and Will to be with you again stronger._

_The part of me I can't change, we'll be able to accept. _

_I'll overcome My Will to be with you again."_

(My Will – Fin)

* * *

**Author's Notes: **In my mind, "My Will" (the first ending song of Inuyasha) is one of the greatest ending songs for the series. It seems like a very sad song, yet it has a lot of hope in it. My own version of the song seems to go through stages of sadness that ends in hope. Much like the actual song itself. 

Writing about that kind of love when you don't know much about that kind of love itself, (since there's no such thing as demons and the circumstances of this story would be kind of hard to come by) is a little hard. That's why I had to go back and reread it, I'll probably redo some chapters later, and think hard about the ending. It seemed sort of cheesy, but a lot of things in this world is cheesy. Like actual cheese. 00

Okay, that has nothing to do with it. But anyway, I wanted to give the sense in this story that their love just didn't fall out of the sky like in a lot of stories. That they actually had to go though a lot, suffer a lot, in order to get to where they are now. You can't love without getting hurt, you can't get hurt without being able to love, that's the way of the world. And it's hard to move on after some big event has already set your way of living, but you can if you try and find people that can help you become a better person.

And of course, about the power of a person Will, which can help them or be their enemy.

I want to thank everyone, again, that supported me and this story. Even those that flamed this story, because their hate just fueled my desire to continue working on this story. I'm sorry it took so long and I hope you enjoyed this last chapter.  
The next story I'll work on when darkness is over is probably another Kurama/Kikyou story. But this time in the feudal era. I also want to work on a request I received about two years ago. 00 Yeah, I know, a pretty long time to wait for a request. I hope you enjoyed this Christmas/Kwanzaa (since I finished it on the second day of Kwanzaa, some Christmas present!) present of mine.

I'm working on updating my other stories as well, so look forward to that.

Good-bye!

Jazz7


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